PRESS RELEASE - ZIFF DAVIS - AMAZING WINDOWS 4.0!!!

We are privileged this month to bring you our long overdue article on
Microsoft's ground-breaking Operating System, the incredible Windows
4.0.  Our exceptional journalistic standards demand that we preface this
article by a restatement of our policy concerning review of non-shipping
products.  While our policy has always been that we would review no
product that is not actually shipping at the time of publication, WE
HAVE CHANGED OUR POLICY FOR THIS ISSUE ONLY.

Our policy for this issue is that we will review any product that
someone tells us might possibly be developed at any time in the future.
After this issue, our policy will revert to what it was prior to this
issue until such time that Microsoft begins to again consider their next
edition of software and begins another high-visibility promotion geared
to discourage users from looking at the competition.

We put the wonderful Windows 4.0 operating system through our grueling
Winbench benchmark program which was magnanimously donated to PC Labs by
Microsoft Corporation.  Our test bed was the standard platform used by
most PC users - a Cray Supercomputer with 3 Gigabytes of RAM and a $9000
Windows graphics accelerator card with 512 Megabytes of SRAM.

Our testing was made more difficult by the fact that no actual code was
available at the time of the procedure.  We did have available, however,
a screen shot of the stupendous Windows 4.0 which we put through its
paces.  Our staff was speechless over how pretty the screen shot was.
We also had the benefit of the assistance of 12 Microsoft employees who
provided invaluable input, and also took us to lunch as well as provide
us all with free copies of MicroSoft Office.

The tremendous Windows 4.0 was a dream to install.  We didn't even have
to open the box!  All of our applications were immediately migrated into
the new OS, except the OS/2 applications.  They mysteriously
disappeared.  We were told that this is a bug in the way that OS/2 apps
are written and that this was IBM's problem.  The screen shot scored a
respectable .000001 Winmarks on our testing platform.  Microsoft
officials assure us that performance of the actual code promises to be
even better.  The only compatibility problem arose when OS/2 for Windows
stubbornly refused to load the screen shot.  Microsoft officials advise
us that this was also IBM's problem.

Microsoft officials told us that 4 Megabytes of RAM minimum would be
needed in the release version.  However, they also said that they would
recommend 32 Megabytes for typical usage.  Microsoft officials said, and
we agree, that all serious PC users will have 32 Megabytes of RAM on
their systems by the time Win 4.0 is released.  Windows 4.0 is too
sophisticated an OS for those that refuse to keep up.

We were at first concerned with the reports of the apparent absence of
32-bit code contained in Windows 4.0.  However, the Microsoft officials
soon set us straight.  Due to Microsoft still having the patent pending
for the new technology, MS officials couldn't tell us how it worked, but
told us of a new Microsoft compression technology.  It turns out that
all of the apparent 16-bit code present in Win 4.0 is actually 32-bit
bit code that has been compressed by Microsoft to look like it is only
16 bits.  Microsoft officials say that this is the wave of the future in
32-bit computing.

In order for you to take advantage of the power of Win 4.0, Microsoft
will be releasing three new products.  These products are Visual COBOL,
Visual Assembler and Visual Machine Language.  The Microsoft
representatives gave us a sneak peak of the Visual Machine Language
product.  Visual Machine Language will contain the famous Microsoft App
Wizard.  At first the App Wizard looked like it was only generating huge
random streams of ones and zeros.  However, one representative assured
us that this was not the case and that MS had used it to write most of
the Windows NT code.

In summary, we can state without any fear of being accused of hyperbole
that the most excellent Windows 4.0 is the greatest technological
breakthrough since the discovery of fire and the invention of the wheel
(neither of which, unfortunately, is patented by Microsoft.  Yet).  The
God-like Windows 4.0 ranks right up there with the other accomplishments
of Microsoft, such as the graphical user interface, the mouse, memory
management and on-the-fly disk compression.

It is at this point that we should state PC Magazine's new policy with
regard to software patents, viz., We feel strongly that any software
patent not held by Microsoft is void and bad for the industry.

There will be a plethora of applications specifically written to take
advantage of the astounding Windows 4.0.  All major software developers
are expected to begin work on products immediately after reading this
article.  Versions of WordPerfect and Lemmings for Win 4.0 should be
shipping by the time you read this.  If you cannot wait for your copy of
the sexy Windows 4.0, we suggest you immediately go out and buy a copy
of the highly innovative MS-DOS 6.2.  Follow that up with several copies
of the award winning Windows for Workgroups 3.11.  If you are still
impatient, buy the long awaited Windows NT, which is available in bulk
quantity from your local retailer at huge discounts.  By that time, if
the most esteemed Windows 4.0 is still not shipping, buy a few more
copies of Windows NT.

While we usually don't give awards to products that are not even in
Alpha release, we feel that we have no choice but to award our
prestigious ZIFF-DAVIS Editor's Choice to the awesome Microsoft Windows
4.0.  And even though it is only April, we have also given it our
ZIFF-DAVIS Year-End Technical Excellence Award in ALL categories for the
years 1994 through 1999.  We expect an even better version of Windows in
the year 2000.  So, what are you waiting for?

*Note:  All words (except "fire" and "wheel") and all alphanumeric
characters in this article are registered trademarks of Microsoft
Corporation.

*EOF(WIN_40.TXT)
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