From: Edwin Peer, 5:7106/100.1
Date: Sep 02 17:05

Recipe for Windows 95

    Ingredients:

    2 cups of Windows 3.11
    1 cup of Windows for Workgroups 3.11
    1 Tbsp of Microsoft Lan Man
    1/2 cup Netware WINUP9.ZIP from ftp.novell.com
    1 cup free Microsoft 32-bit TCP/IP from their BBS
    1 cup of MS-DOS
    1 cup of OS/2 Warp
    1/2 cup of 32-bit developers extensions to Windows

    1 large mixing bowl
    1 saucepan
    1 oven set at 300 degrees

    In saucepan on low, boil WFW311 until only networking items
remain.  Combine MS 32-bit TCP/IP, LanMan and Netware, stirring
constantly to ensure an even mix.

    In large mixing bowl, place regular Win311.  Massage until device
driver structure is totally unrecognizable, guaranteeing most current
drivers unrunnable.  Replace with unknown and proprietary drivers,
making sure to only add support for the most popular hardware options.

    Place the MS-DOS onto a cutting board.  With a large meat cleaver,
hack off Doublespace, Backup, and half of the useful DOS commands.
Place the remains into the bowl, setting aside the hidden files
MSDOS.SYS.

    Place OS/2 Warp on cutting board, hack off HPFS, Crash-proofing,
pre-emptive multitasking, and everything else useful, leaving
something that resembles the Workplace Shell in appearance.

    Place this into bowl.  With hidden boot files from MS-DOS,
CAREFULLY combine with 32-bit extensions.  Place into bowl.  With
large wooden spoon, vigorously mix contents in bowl, permitting
computer rag reporters occasional glimpses into the mess.

    Place contents into bread pan and bake at a low heat for a couple
of years.  When a Microsoft application can be inserted and withdrawn
without clumps sticking, pronounce done.  (It doesn't matter if
non-Microsoft apps stick or not)

    Oh, I almost forgot the last line of the Recipe!

    RAM UNPALATABLE MIXTURE DOWN THE PUBLIC'S THROAT!

    Then, write on the package:  'All New Formula'

Cheers, Edwin.

* Origin: The Wizz Kid's Point. Pta, Rsa. (5:7106/100.1)
.