Date: 16.12.94
Origin: /COMP/SYS/INTEL
Sender: seagull@netcom.com, seagull@jg.cso.uiuc.edu

IMPORTANT NEWS!  New bugs found in Pentium[tm] processors!

A wire story today announced the discovery of new bugs in Intel's
Pentium processor, which deals another blow to the already PR-damaged
computer giant.  It appears that the newest bugs, found by an entomology
professor at the University of Iowa, are "far more serious than the
floating point problem", and could very well have serious impacts on the
computer industry, world-wide.

Professor Smith first noticed the errors when his team of researchers
were in the process of converting their insect research database from
their older 386DX-based machine to their new Pentium 90 system.  A data
integrity check, run on the Pentium system against the old database,
showed a significant discrepancy between the two records.  In a
nutshell, the research noted that the number of aphids, a plant-sucking
member of the Aphidoidea family, tracked in their databases had shown a
mysterious increase by almost an order of magnitude.  Immediately after
making this discovery, Professor Smith had the original database copied
over to a variety of Pentium systems in the University in an effort to
determine whether or not all Pentium machines might have this same bug.
Every Pentium system reported the same erroneous results.

The Iowa researchers contacted their computer manufacturer's support
line, and were told that there were no other known bugs in Intel's
newest PC processor.  Insisting that something was wrong however,
Professor Smith was able to obtain the services of the manufacturer's
technical support personnel, who instructed him to open the infected
machines and physically check the processors for obvious problems.  "We
were quite shocked to find an entire colony of aphids living inside our
computer," Professor Smith remarked after describing the events that
followed.  After opening the chassis of the computer, literally hundreds
of the sluggish insects poured out from the air vents, apparently
startled by the upsetting of their home.

"It was a total disaster," Smith exclaimed.  "They were crawling
everywhere, and within minutes, had eaten all the office plants on the
third and fourth floors." The technical support line suggested that
Professor Smith contact the computer chip maker, Intel, and report the
bugs to them.

Intel has since admitted that there is indeed a problem with bugs in the
Pentium processor, and stated in a press release yesterday that they are
working closely with Professor Smith in attempting to resolve the
problem.  A spokesperson for the computer giant also maintained that the
bugs were actually detected by Intel engineers in July, just after the
rainy season, and that a research group consisting of entomologists and
Terminix employees had concluded that the bugs would have "little impact
on the population as a whole".

According to Intel, the bugs come from a design flaw in the Pentium
Issue Cluster, specifically in the part of the chip responsible for
instruction decoding.  Apparently, under certain but rare conditions,
floating point multiplication instructions (known as FMLT) are
misinterpreted as a directive to multiply Homoptera rather than
registers, leading to the possibility of geometric growth rates in
certain families of insects, which include but are not limited to
cicadas, aphids, and a variety of scale insects.  "After extensive
testing," remarked the Intel spokesperson, "we determined that the
problem, though present, does not represent a significant threat to the
integrity of the Pentium-based systems." According to Intel's analysts,
the buggy FMLT instruction only occurs during periods of warm
temperature and high humidity, and only has a 1 in 1,000,000,000 chance
of being executed during these conditions.  "As a result, we came to the
conclusion that the problem was not significant, and would be fixed in
our next 'stepping' of the processor."

Several experts nationwide disagree, however, and have stated vocally
that Intel's handling of the affair has been "less than insipid".  Karl
Greene, spokesperson for FTD, was outraged at the discovery of the bugs.
"Greenhouses all over the world," he explained, "are within the 'danger
zone' 24 hours a day, 7 days a week!" FTD is the Florist Transworld
Delivery service, of which thousands of florists world-wide are members.
"Only a handful of these instructions could cause a flower shop to lose
its entire inventory, overnight.  If every florist in the world used
Pentium systems to track their inventory, we could witness a botanical
disaster of almost Biblical proportions!" Greene feels that Intel is
trying to cover up the problem, or at least "push it under the rug" in
the hopes that no one will be concerned.

Intel, however, flatly denies any such accusations.  "We are not trying
to hide anything.  We have facts on our side that prove that this issue
is of little importance to the casual user, and are taking steps to
replace buggy Pentiums in those applications that rely on the FMLT
problem during the summer months".  Intel has set up an 800 number for
people who fear they may be at risk.  If your needs are such that a
replacement chip is warranted, you will be sent a bug-free version in
exchange for the old.  Causal users are informed that they are typically
not at risk, though unofficially Intel employees have stated that
"keeping a bottle of dyazinon next to your desk" might be a good idea.

(Pentium[tm] is a registered trademark of Intel Corporation)

*EOF(NEWBUGS.TXT)
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