WHAT IF PEOPLE BOUGHT CARS LIKE THEY BUY COMPUTERS?

General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't
know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy
computers - but imagine if they did....

HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!"
HelpLine: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"
Customer: "What's an ignition?"
HelpLine: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your
                battery and turns over the engine."
Customer: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know
                all of these technical terms just to use my car?"

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HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"
HelpLine: "Is the gas tank empty?"
Customer: "Huh? How do I know!?"
HelpLine: "There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and
                markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing?"
Customer: "It's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?"
HelpLine: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor, and
                purchase some more gasoline. You can install it
                yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you."
Customer: "What!? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me
                that I have to keep buying more components? I want
                a car that comes with everything built in!"

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HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Your cars suck!"
HelpLine: "What's wrong?"
Customer: "It crashed, that's what went wrong!"
HelpLine: "What were you doing?"
Customer: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal
                all the way to the floor. It worked for a while,
                and then it crashed - and now it won't start!"
HelpLine: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product.
                What do you expect us to do about it?"
Customer: "I want you to send me one of the latest version that
                doesn't crash anymore!"

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HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car
                because it has automatic transmission, cruise control,
                power steering, power brakes, and power door locks."
HelpLine: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"
Customer: "How do I work it?"
HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "Do I know how to what?"
HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "I'm not a technical person! I just want to go
                places in my car!"

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*EOF(DRIVE_PC.TXT)
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