Date: 12-01-94, 22:29
From: Keith Wood
Subj: Waiting for W95

I originally sent this to the FILK echo:

Instafilk:

Building W/a/i/t/i/n/g for Windows 95
by Keith Wood
To:  "Jacques Chretien"

They little knew of programming --
those folks at Redmond High --
who, to keep us from buying the code that's good,
hanged FUD before our eyes!
One-fourth of the pages in magazines
that computer users buy
Are sent forth to convince us all that
there is nothing else to buy!

Look down!  Look on the COMDEX floor!
What do the people see?
Team OS/2 in their salmon shirts
loading OS/2 Warp Three!
Look down, look down on Redmond's shame
to hide the wrong they'd done
Said "We're Building for Windows Ninety-Five;
We're already Number One!"

To prove that lie, the Redmond lords
sent Beta far and wide.
"Disk Seventeen wrecks the whole install"
the Beta testers cried.
Team guru David Barnes sent word
from a crowded meeting room:
"We're shipping OS/2 Warp 3 --
Your vaporware is doomed!"

Strong-held behind their FUD, Redmond
scorned to ask him why;
But they noticed that thousands were lining up
to give OS/2 a try.
Bright, bright the Zen-like ads shone down
from all the taxi tops,
Like: "Go ahead and make mistakes,
They don't matter -- Microsoft."

Then working right came Warp-vee-Three
with code that's tight and great
So who cares if Windows Ninety-Five
won't be here till by Ninety-eight?!
No more is Redmond what we want,
No more wait for nothing new;
But stands a line at the software store
To buy up OS/2!

So spread the word from show to show:
We're ignoring Bill Gates' FUD.
Though you're "Building for Windows in Ninety-Five"
We know that it's a dud!
They little know of programming --
those folks at Redmond High --
Who, to keep us from buying code that's good,
hanged FUD before our eyes!


NOTE: For non-filkers:

This song is a take off on a well-known song in science fiction fandom
which can be heard at any SF convention featuring filksinging.


NOTE: For non-OS/2 people:

"Windows 95" is the latest name given to the next version of the
combined DOS/Windows; it is best known by the code name "Chicago".
There IS no actual W95 -- originally set to ship in September of 1994,
Microsoft now hopes to ship in June 1995, over two years after
announcing the product. The second Beta version was released in
November 1994, and the trade press reported that Disk 17 was bad.
This will be the second 32-bit operating system from MS; despite the
numbers, "Windows 95" will actually be version 1.00, as was Windows
"NT 3.1." The joke is that MS has started numbering its software
versions in "doggy years"!

"Redmond High" is the nickname given to the Microsoft headquarters
campus in Redmond, WA.

"FUD" is a computer industry reference to the practise of starting
rumors or issuing ads and press releases designed to make customers
avoid products based on "Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt" about such
things as compatibility or reliability. While this tactic was
originally used by IBM in the early days of the industry, Microsoft
has become the acknowledged master and primary purveyor of FUD,
issuing "Real Soon Now" announcements for products which don't arrive
for a year or more after the initial announcement. The intent is to
drive down sales of competing products which are already available
(such as OS/2 or Lotus Notes, to cite two recent examples), thus
buying time for the "FUDmeisters" to develop their own product.

COMDEX is the major computer-industry trade show, held in several
parts of the world. The BIG show is held each fall in Las Vegas,
Nevada, this year running from Monday 14 NOV through Friday 19 NOV.
This year, Microsoft scattered "We're Building for Windows 95" signs
throughout the show, but many booths with these signs were not running
the W95 Beta.

OS/2 Warp v3 is the third 32-bit version of IBM's replacement for DOS.
A mature operating system, Warp is technically superior to W95,
faster, runs in less memory, and was the unexpected hit at COMDEX Fall
'94. The test-drive room featured a 20-minute hands-on demo for 45
users at a time, and by the afternoon of the first day, lines were
several shows behind. By Wednesday afternoon they were issuing
reservations for demos on Friday afternoon. Nearly 5500 people
attended the demos, not counting those who stood behind the demo
computers rather than missing out completely.

Team OS/2 is a loosely-organized group of OS/2 users who
enthusiastically volunteer their time and effort to promoting OS/2.
With a few exceptions, Teamers are NOT employed by IBM, nor are they
paid for their activities (despite MS employees' claims to the
contrary). The 150 Teamers to went to COMDEX Fall '94 paid their own
way, paid for their lodging and meals (unless doughnuts and Sprite are
a "meal"), and came home exhausted but victorious, having installed
OS/2 Warp in hundreds of vendor booths throughout the show. Their
trademark salmon-colored trade-show shirts (some say "coral") led to
Microsoft dubbing them the "Pink Ninjas."

David Barnes is one of the few Team members who is paid by IBM. His
legendary "OS/2 medicine show" presentations before user groups
worldwide are a sight to behold. David tells his audiences that OS/2
has survived "because of user groups and because of Team OS/2 -- it is
NOT because of IBM's incredible marketing skill!" He was a featured
guest at a party thrown at COMDEX Fall '94 by IBM to thank Teamers for
their work, where his "Top Ten reasons for being in Team OS/2"
included "You earn the right to say 'I told you so!'"

Bill Gates is the head of Microsoft, who sometimes lets the truth get ...

* Origin: BRASS CANNON BBS, Cottonwood AZ | 602-639-1039 (1:15/29)

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