                                   A TALE OF
                                    KEROVNIA



                                       BY
                                  G. SINCLAIR



                                   EDITED BY
                                    C. GALE



   CHAPTER ONE



Once upon a time (to coin a phrase) there was a fairy land called Kerovnia,

ruled by King Erik and his Queen, Jendah II, which nestled cosily between
the great Nattus mountain valley and the Aquatica Sea. Kerovnia was a
million square miles, most of it forests. At the edge of these vast
forests, stretching north to the mountains and south to the inhospitable
deserts, lay a host of farming communities.



The farms were owned by the true ancestors of Kerovnia - the 'Little
People', close cousins of the Dwarfs and Gnomes. The Little People were
also the forebears of the Roobikyoub Dwarfs, who had left their farms to
mine for lead in the Kerovnian forests. The Little People had stayed
behind, happy to continue farming; and specialising in the manifacture of
their famous 'nut yoghurt'.



The dwarves are giants in the world of commerce, and thrive on the cut
and thrust of business. The Little People, although less acute, have a
reputation for hard work and industry.



The mountainous regions, with their snow-capped peaks forever glinting
and flickering against the ice-blue sky, are a great tourist attraction.
Mountain trekking is very popular, and it is not expensive to hire a pink
unicorn, indigenous to the area, to explore the many and varied beauty
spots the mountains have to offer. (These unicorns were introduced by
The Little People three centuries ago, when a certain King Faldous of


Page 1

Aquitania, a neighbouring province, gave the King of Kerovnia a red unicorn

stallion as a birthday gift.) The Dwarves, not surprisingly, have a complete

monopoly of the tourist industry.



King Erik and Queen Jendah are not vastly popular figures and command the

loyalty of only a small section of the community of Dwarfs, Gnomes, and
Little People. The majority of the other inhabitants are anti-royalist, and
form the Opposition Party. Their leader is the notorious Gringo
Baconburger, whose headquarters lie in the maze of tunnels and chambers
beneath these mountains. The desert regions are mainly uninhabited, but
at their extremities they run down to meet the azure blue of the Aquatica
sea, which gently washes the golden shoreline. The Royal holiday villa is
situated at Kerga, the capital of this region. Here, holiday resorts abound
and tourism flourishes. A big attraction is the various paddling
competitions throughout the summer months, which are organised by the
King himself.



There is one region in Kerovnia which serves neither the tourist nor mining

industries - The Great Wastelands. This is a vast area of wilderness,
bordered by slimy ponds and sluggish streams. However, the whole area is
of great importance to the Little People, because it is here that they breed
their beloved pink unicorns and the charming Kattish Dorabs. The Dorab, a
cross between a rabbit and a dog, was introduced some six hundred years
ago. lt is most prized for its hunting abilities. lt has the body of a
Spaniel, and the soft fur and droopy ears of a rabbit. Many Kerovnians,
including the King himself, keep a dorab as a pet.



The Wastelands, with its grassy wilderness that sways and dances to
tunes of far-off breezes in the winter, and whose rushes crackle and burn
in the summer heat, lead to the capital city of Kerovnia - Keros - (home
and birthplace of the honourable and righteous King Erik!)



Centuries of selective breeding, preserving the purest of blood lines by


Page 2

constant and meticulous inter-marriage, have resulted in the impressive
figure of our present Monarch - who, in a poor light, and with a following
wind, could actually be mistaken for a human.


The dwarves, gnomes, and little people are looked down upon by the
Royalist party - who love and venerate King Erik. The opposition party, led
by Gringo, is rapidly gaining strength, nourished by Erik's increasing
reputation as a political bungler, both at home and abroad. His mishandling
of affairs of State has resulted in an economic crisis and general social
unrest, never before experienced in Kerovnia.



Queen Jendah is generally considered to be wiser and more politically
astute than her husband. She is a charismatic figure; witty, intelligent,
and the proud possessor of a graceful beauty. But the King, a closet
misogynist, refuses to let his wife take an active part in home affairs, or
foreign policy, She is reduced to busying herself with the "Elderly Little
People's Society", and the distribution of Piquant Rat Pancakes to the poor
and needy. Her talents as an artist, sculptor and interior design decorator,
however, find ample outlets.



There is, in fact, only one female in the kingdom who is greatly loved by
the King - the apple of his squinting eye - his daughter Lattecia; known as
"Lacey". She is everything a proud father could wish for in an only child.
She has inherited the pointed nose and greasy strands of lack-lustre,
mousy hair, of the Golden Family. Also, she has a sweet character, which
has made her enormously popular in Kerovnian high society. A most
desirable catch for any foreign Prince!



Lacey has just celebrated her sixteenth birthday. She has been given a
male dorab by the name of Poops, and is deeply in love with Prince
Malcolm, the dashing and handsome heir to the throne of Aquitania! At
present Malcolm's multifarious (some would hint nefarious!) activities as
a Royal helicopter pilot - not to mention his giddy affair with the


Page 3

blushing and virginal Lacey - continually hit the headlines of the dwarf
colour tabloid, "The Kerovnian World" - owned and run by Gringo
Baconburger.



Princess Lacey has, since her childhood, been schooled for the role of
future Queen of Kerovnia. This tiresome and difficult task has been the
duty of the Royal governess, Zita. This ancient crone was nursery-maid
to Erik, himself, and it has been hinted that she is responsible not only for
Lacey's education, but also for Erik's (who continues to take maths and
science lessons at the age of fifty-three!) Gringo Baconburger even
suggested, at a rather violent political meeting of the Opposition Party,
that Zita was more in charge of Kerovnia's finances, and the allotment of
the Royal treasury funds, than the King himself. Zita's paternal
grandmother, although of true Kerovnian stock, was also descended from
the land of Perpetania, and Zita has inherited her supernatural powers. Her
clairvoyance and Tarot reading have solved many a tricky political
situation in Kerovnia. Even more importantly, Zita has magically enhanced
and improved Lacey's natural beauty over the year - thus winning even
more favour in the eyes of the King.



Although Zita's powers have increased her hold over the Kerovnian Royal
family, she has remained a simple woman, with little in common with the
local Jet Set. She lives in a small cottage in the Palace grounds
overlooking Queen Jendah's famous rose garden, surrounded by her
cauldrons, magic potions, cobwebs, spiders, eyes of newts, and tongues of
toads; not to mention her venomous one-eyed familiar, the supercilious
feline, Postlesthwaite.



Dwarf journalists have suggested that Zita is bewitching the Princess in
order to obtain supreme power in the years to come; but Erik was
overjoyed that she worked tirelessly for no salary, and invariably agreed
with his every word.


Page 4

One afternoon, Erik was giving audience to several nobles of the land in the
blue State Receiving Room. Zita was present, making discreet notes in her
shabby green leather notebook, nodding and grunting away to herself.
The nobles were discussing the corn tax laws, complaining bitterly about
the steep increments in the yearly taxes.



Erik scratched his head in confusion, unable to deal with their mounting
hostility, when Zita stepped forward and snapped:

"You are all lucky to be able to trade at all in the Kingdom of Kerovnia!
The King allows you to sell your inferior wheat to all and sundry, and you
have the honour and privilege of paying taxes to the Royal purse!"



The nobles were stunned into silence by this tirade, and Erik promptly
dismissed the assembled throng, before they had a chance to regain their
composure. When the room was empty, Erik rushed over to Zita and
grasped her bony hands in his claw-like paws, and exclaimed:

"Dear Zita, my ugly and faithful subject, my Machiavellian and toothless

politician, my wart encrusted beauty! Please tell me what I can do for you,
to reward you and brighten your every hour?"



Zita thoughtfully pulled a long white hair from her left nostril, and
casually squeezing a pimple or two, replied as follows:

"Dear Majesty. There is one small favour that I beg of you, in all your

greatness. Not far away from our land lives a friend of mine, who was
falsely sent into exile, for a crime he did not commit. He now seeks
refuge in a country like Kerovnia. He is a brilliant man, with a mind
unequalled - "



"Do you imply!" interrupted the King, "That this man has a greater intellect

than my own?"



"Oh no Sire", winced Zita, "No living creature could possibly equal your

gracious majesty!"


Page 5


"Oh well, then, pray continue", conceded the King.



"I have known of him since my earliest days", Zita continued, "his magical

powers are supreme and his scientific discoveries are legendary. Perhaps
your majesty could find work for him, either at the Golden University or
the new Research Laboratory for the cross-pollination of various types of
foreign currency?"



"No!" answered Erik, "I shall make better use of him than that. What I need
at the Palace, to amuse my precious Lacey and to entertain the Royal
Guests, is a Court Magician. Find him, and bring him to me!"



And so it came about that the sorcerer, Kronos by name, entered the Royal

household, and became the Court Magician. So amazing were his tricks, and
so numerous his feats of magic, that Lacey began almost to shirk her
school lessons with Zita - shrieking and screaming with delight as Kronos
produced yet one more dorab from his green top hat.



Page 6



   CHAPTER TWO



Kronos was much loved by the court, and was frequently requested to
perform his feats of magic in the nobles' country houses. He was
particularly admired by Queen Jendah's housemaids, for whom he often
agreed to magically make the beds, dust the floors, and lay the fires. The
cooks often invited him into the Royal kitchens, and gourmet cuisine soon
became known throughout the land. With a click of his tongue, he could
turn a goose's liver into the finest Pate de Fois Gras, and with a mere
glance at a citrus fruit, would produce a devilish Lemon Soufflee. Erik
became so worried about the general laziness amongst the Palace staff,
that he threatened to cut off their heads unless they began to work

properly. Zita came to their rescue before any damage was done, and life
in the palace returned to normal, and thereafter Kronos left the Palace
staff well alone, and interested himself in the gardens and stables.



It was whilst making a tour of the stables, and visiting the loose box of
Erik's ceremonial charger, Bruce - part unicorn and part horse - that he
made the acquaintance of the head groom, JoJo. He was a pleasant enough
fellow, in his late fifties, who had undergone his apprenticeship during the
reign of Erik's father Willy III. They struck up conversation, and Kronos
discovered to his delight, that he had found just the man to assist him in
his psychological analysis of the monarch: a project he was undertaking
on behalf of the underground newspaper, 'Fight On!' JoJo had known the King
when he was a little lad, and had seen him grow into manhood. He knew
much about the King's faults and weaknesses, and had promised to fill


Page 7

Kronos in on many points of interest.



During his tours of the gardens and stables, Kronos caused quite a stir. His

reputation had spread before him, and both gardeners and stable lads were

anxious to meet the great man, to express their various dissatisfactions
and worries. Kronos, with his calm manner and cultured appearance, soon
won the hearts of those around him. Gradually, in the back of his mind, he
began to wonder if he would not himself make a better, a wiser, and a
more popular King of Kerovnia than Erik! (Especially with the help of his
dear sister, Zita.)



Whilst these ambitious dreams were running through the cunning mind of
Kronos, an even more daring plan was being conceived by Gringo
Baconburger. Gringo, who headed the Dwarf Liberation of Kerovnia party,
was Erik's ruthless opposition leader, renowned for his political activities
in dwarf circles, and dearly loved by the little people. If Gringo could
force the King to hold a democratic election for the first time in
Kerovnian history, it was almost certain that the dwarf party would secure a
majority of votes, and throw out the Royalists, whose contribution to
trade and tourism was quite inept.



Gringo's grasp of international affairs was very astute and his political

concepts were the most advanced of all the varying dwarf populations. It
was he who had first explained to the little people, with the help of
numerous histograms and statistics, that their age-old demand of: 'Longer
hours for less pay!' contained a subtle but fatal economic flaw. But how,
short of a revolution, was he to force the King into agreeing to a general
election?



Gringo Baconburger was a relatively young leader for the Dwarf faction to
have adopted. From the beginning his confidence as a public orator and as
an intellectual figure had reached the ears of the elderly dwarf society,
(the wisest members of the dwarf and little people communities)

Page 8

responsible for the election of important figureheads in Dwarf society, as
well as the tiresome activity of meeting with the King twice a year, to
discuss social problems.



It had soon become clear that Gringo was the man they had been looking for
to head the Opposition Party. Since his election, Kerovnia's trade, tourism
and industry had flourished under his skilful management and his faithful
followers. In accordance with the elders' wishes, Gringo moved away from
the heart of the mining community, and bought a large house in the village
of Korrezita, one of the agricultural sectors for wheat and barley. lt was
from this village that he directed the tourist industry, boosted the
economy of the mining community, and exploited trade. All his political
activities were carried out deep within the Kerovnian mountains in secret
hideaways and chambers. Here the weekly editions of the political
newspaper, 'Fight On!', were published: A journal bitterly condemmed by the
King, although secretly read by many of his palace staff.



Page 9



CHAPTER THREE



But let us, gentle reader, return to our heroine, the sweet princess Lacey.
We find her sitting on her cushioned window-box seat; dreaming of her
beloved Malcolm. Her exquisite room, panelled with the finest walnut,
looked out onto the main palace courtyard, surrounded by high walls,
fabricated from the finest Kerovnian stone. She opened wide her lattice
windows to breath deeply the scent from the multitudinous blooms of the
Royal garden, nodding in the silver moonlight. Below her window, the
strains of the Royal orchestra, performing a classical symphony, drifted
towards her on the soft summer evening air, and she felt tears pricking
behind her pale eyes. Almost imagining that she could see the image of the
noble Malcolm reflected in the water splashing in the fountains beneath
her, she swept her greasy hair from her narrow forehead and gazed
dreamily into the star-strown sky, recalling her first meeting with the

honourabie prince.



It had been at Kerga, the previous year, when her father had invited several

Royal families to spend a couple of weeks soaking up the summer
atmosphere. People were always pleased to receive an invitation from the
Kerovnian Royal family. They boasted some of the finest fishing available,
and the summer palace had been modernised some short while before. The
majority of Palaces were most uncomfortable inside; humid, dusty and
filled with spiders.


Page 10


Erik was considered to be an entertaining host ever since the employment
of Kronos, who continued to delight both Royal children and adults alike.
The food, too, was excellent, and Queen Jendah's trifles were
internationally renowned.



Five different Royal families had been invited, including Queen Hortensa of

Aquitania, and her son, Malcolm. The King of Aquitania had died some five
years previously in mysterious circumstances. Lacey had nover before met
the Aquitanian household. She had been taking part in a Royal quiz
programme in the capital city (aided by Zita's supernatural powers), and
she arrived for the midweek dinner and ball after the presentations had
been made. Erik had been busy playing canasta every evening with the King
and Princess of Silenissia and had quite forgotten to introduce his
daughter to the crowd of guests. So poor Lacey arrived at the dinner that
particular evening feeling most shy and lost. She was dressed in a
ravishing pink summer frock, her hair blow-dried into ringlets, and her
patent pink leather shoes glimmered in the candlelight. She was the
cynosure of all eyes. The banquet that night was taking place in the orchid
room, a perfect oval shape with varnished walls and bow-shaped windows,

overlooking the sea.



Directly beneath the windows grew wild orchids of vivid purple and pink,
whose blooms reached up to, and enhanced the beauty of the room itself.
The long oak tables were draped with pale blue lace tablecloths, bearing
the Golden Families' coat of arms, and adorned with the finest silver plate
and the most expensive crystal glasses in the Kingdom. Blue candles had
been placed in front of every guest, and each candle stem had been
lovingly decorated with a garland of tiny pink roses and purple daisies.



The royal choir, which had been discreetly positioned behind the blue silk

curtains, sung a selection of Kerovnian ballads. At one end of the table sat

Erik. He was clothed in a crushed cherry coloured silk uniform of the Royal

Unicorn Guards, with a collar of pure ermine. His breast was ablaze with


Page 11

rows of brilliantly shining medals, and his thinning hair supported the
August Crown. This was studded with Capachon rubies, and surrounded by
seed pearls from the Aquatica sea, the symbols of the month of August.


Facing the beaming King, at the opposite end of the long table, sat the

beautiful Queen Jendah. Although she wore no crown, her long, auburn
locks had been fashioned in true Kerovnian style, diamonds and emeralds
woven amongst the tresses of her hair. She wore a fine gold lam dress,
and pointed exquisite purple satin slippers. She outshone every other lady
present.



Somewhere amongst this happy throng sat Matcolm, heir to the throne of

Aquitania. Short, rather plump, with a double chin, stocky muscular legs,
and very strong arms, Malcolm had always been a heart-throb with the
royal ladies. His beady brown eyes were sharp to take in details of every
new arrival; his rather thin lips concealed his small evenly shaped teeth.
Although extremely shy in private, he had an unpleasant habit of being
loud-mouthed in public to hide his inferiority complex. So far, he had spent
the entire evening in conversation with the Lady Franceska, daughter of
Earl Audarva of Aquitania.



Malcolm had been against the idea of spending two weeks of his summer
holiday in Kerovnia, for he had planned a sailing trip with his friends,
(particularly the Lady Franceska). However, his mother, Hortensa, had
insisted her son accompany her to Kerga, for she had other plans for him
throughout those summer days. This tall, bespectacled lady - known for
her coldness and aloof attitude towards the poor inhabitants of Aquitania
- had for some time nourished the idea of a matrimonial union of the two
families. lt was clear to her that should Malcolm wed Lattecia then
Aquitania would be joined financially as well as politically to Kerovnia,
allowing her to exert power over the mining community and exploit to the
full their stocks of diamands and gold. lt would be easy for her to wield

power through Malcolm, who adored her and respected her opinions in


Page 12

matters of state. She found Erik quite ridiculous, especially with all
those medals scattered across his chest; but Jendah was a good friend,
who would be quite happy for Hortensa to discreetly intervene in Erik's
affairs.



The guests gasped with sheer pleasure as Lacey entered the banquet hall.
Malcolm raised his eyes from Franceska's face to gaze at the princess as
she skipped into the room, curtseying left and right to the assembled
guests. She appeared to be a placid and retiring sort of girl (Malcolm
detested bossy women with temperamental characters).



Hortensa spied her son watching Lacey attentively, and sighed with deep
relief. The Green Witch of Aquitania's prophesy was taking its
pre-destined course. As Lacey took her place next to her mother, she
caught Malcolm staring at her intently. Blushing furiously, she turned
quickly around and smiled sweetly at her mother.



Their real meeting did not take place until some hours later, while coffee
was being served. Lacey had spent the entire dinner trying to avoid
Malcolm who could not keep his eyes off her. By the end of dinner, Lacey's
face was a brilliant embarrassed pink, as the bold Aquitanian's eyes
constantly undressed her. Hortensa, feeling that the moment was right to
introduce the pair, took his small podgy hand in her rather large one, and
pulled him over to where Lacey was sitting, surrounded by friends and
relatives.



"Now my dears", said Hortensa, in her loud horsey voice "I think it is about
time you met one another. After all, Kerovnia really isn't far from our
home city, and I think you two should become the best of friends."



At this Lacey blushed a more violent purple, and looked down at her shoes,
while Malcolm smiled kindly at the wretched creature sitting before him.



"Would you care for another milkshake?" he asked nonchalantly.


Page 13


"Why, yes" she stuttered. "You are too kind". And she allowed the bold
Malcolm to brush his thin lips across her tiny red hands. This historic
meeting had electrifying effects on the assembled guests, and gradually
the hubbub of voices died away to a mere whisper. Everyone craned
forward to try and catch the merest hint of the conversation between the
two Royal love-birds.



Hortensa and Jendah retired to the ladies boudoir to discuss the prospect
of a Royal wedding within the next twelve months. Malcolm, who felt that
he was now centre-stage, raised his voice to a deep crescendo staring at
Lacey with undisguised admiration:



"My dear Lacey, perhaps you could come to Aquitania for a visit next year?
I believe you would truly love our country. Although it lies to the south of

Kerovnia, and has a dry climate, we are fortunate in enjoying the clement

weather from the southern seas, which bring cool breezes to even the
hottest of our towns."



So saying, Malcolm flexed his shoulders and arms, broad and muscular from
many years of swimming and fishing. But Lacey, in her naivety, kept her
eyes fixed on his aquiline nose. Malcolm continued with his description of
the topography of Aquitania, while Lacey sat and listened in awe and
admiration. He talked incessantly of his homeland geography, history and
political and economic policies; and furnished a great deal of information
about himself. And for three hours the Royal coffee booths remained
otherwise silent, as the guests drank in Malcolm's fascinating exposition.
Hortensa was overjoyed at having conceived and raised such a paragon of
an heir - so tremendously popular with the Royal public. From then on the
romance between the two youngsters flourished. The Royal pair were seen
everywhere together, at paddling parties, swimming parties, sailing,
fishing, and crocodile shoots.


Page 14


Lacey was deeply and romantically in love with Malcolm, she felt like the

heroine in one her favourite Rose Romance novelettes. Some cynics thought
that for Malcolm's part this was not True Love. He was not, after all,
averse to dallying with many a fair maid, and perhaps he was simply
enchanted by her youthful femininity and charm. Worse, it had been
suggested in some quarters that he fancied himself as the future king of
Kerovnia!


And so the lovers parted - with undying promises of fidelity and love. It
was agreed that before Lacey returned to the Golden Palace, they would
meet again shortly after her sixteenth birthday at the mountain city of
Krossia for a trekking holiday. Zita would accompany them as a chaperone.
The following summer saw Lacey dreaming constantly of the bold Malcolm,
whilst he, devoid of any other female companionship, had invited the Lady
Franceska to come away with him on a boating trip.



Page 15



   CHAPTER FOUR



At this point, gentle reader, we take our leave of the fair Lacey. Her eyes

ablaze with love, her tresses (treated with her mother's new conditioner
for oily hair) shining brightly in the moonlight. She clasps her shabby
teddy bear, whose ugly little head had been half eaten by Poops, to her
meagre chest. We now travel some three hundred miles to the heart of the
mountain region were we find Kronos alighting from the back of a flying polar
bear.



Kronos had been called out on a mission of some urgency: his brief being
that of a real magician, rather than a court jester. The problem concerned
a somewhat large dragon by the name of Harry. This charming creature had
been a pet of Kronos's for quite some time. Harry was a Kerulgian dragon; a
cold-blooded mammal found only in the mountainous regions, where it
can retire to the damp and cold of a subterranean cave when the
temperatures reach an uncomfortable heat during the daylight hours. The
Kerulgian dragon is some two metres in length, green and orange in colour,
with bright red scales lining the periphery of its arched back. Its tail
forms at least half of its body, curved and sharpened at both ends. It has
bovine, brown eyes and large raspberry coloured tusks. But these dragons,
though ferocious to look at, have an unusual psychological trait: they are
afraid of people. Indeed, even the smallest mouse is inclined to make them
jump. Because of this timidity, most Kerulgian dragons have been eaten by
other species of dragon, and very few are left in Kerovnia. How Harry has
survived over the years is a story in itself. Harry was rescued as a baby


Page 16

on the shores of the Aquatica Sea, having been abandoned by his mother,
and was rescued by Kronos, who happened to be visiting the area at the
time. Kronos and Harry formed an immediate attachment to each other and
travelled everywhere together. As the majority of Kerulgian dragons were
finding it difficult to survive, Kronos invented a magic potion to make him
more aggressive in times of danger. Thus, every time Harry felt himself
threatened by man or beast, he would take a secret sip of the potion and
almost immediately was enabled to exhale a hellsome fire for a radius of
50 miles. Sometimes, however, either through eagerness or nervousness,
he would take an overdose of the potion - which resulted in immediate
disaster! A yellow fog would then descend over Kerovnia, so that one could
scarely see one's hand in front of one's face; and even at the height of noon
it would be folly to drive without the use of headlights! Often, to impress
strangers, Kronos would ask Harry to breathe extra deeply - and entire
villages would be covered either in flames of molten gold, or in a
foul-smelling fog.



One particular evening, Harry, at home within the foothill region of Kozza,
had requested Kronos to bring him an urgent supply of magic potion, as he
was feeling alarmed and threatened by a large herd of blue dragons, which
were reported to be lurking in the neighbourhood. Kronos would rather that
Harry lived with him, but unfortunately dragons were not allowed within
the palace boundary; so he made post-haste to the foothills to deliver the
potion to Harry's secret lair. There he noticed some posters scattered
over the table in the corner of the room.



"What have we here, Harry?" he enquired, glancing in the direction of the

posters.



"Funny you should ask that, pal. Well, you see, this chap came round the
other day canvassing for the Gringo Baconburger Party."



The dragon inhaled deeply, lighting up his orange nostrils. "Funny thing is,


Page 17

his political headquarters aren't far from here; in fact, on other side of
the valley. He seems an interesting chap, this Gringo, and he's quite

against the Royal family - rather like you. Well, it appears that he plans a
general uprising to force the King to hold democratic elections, and then,
if all goes well, he plans to take over Kerovnia and force the Royal family
into exile."



Kronos stroked his beard thoughtfully, and gazed deeply al his friend. "I
wonder if you would introduce me to this Gringo person, Harry." he said.
"It's strange I have not heard of him before. I tend to know everyone in
Kerovnia, especially in political circles."



"Oh, I don't think it so surprising that you haven't heard of Gringo. After
all, the dwarf faction don't have any seats in the Royal Parliament. The
entire Government is run by the King's political friends and the supporters
of the Royal house of Aquitania. The whole thing smacks of nepotism. I
always have my ear to the ground, here in the hills. 1 suppose all you hear,
living in the palace, is the same old royalist propaganda."



Kronos, somewhat taken aback at Harry's social and political acumen,
decided that the problem must be the magic potion, and resolved that in
future he would cut down on the parsley and thyme, to avoid any further
embarrassment. Harry, finding Kronos's discomfort amusing, and on a
definite high, having just taken an extra slug of potion, roared with glee,
slapped all seven of his thighs and set the roof of his house alight with a
cascading shower of orange sparks!



"Pray curb your enthusiasm, Harry. I shall have to pay for the
refurbishment of your gloomy lair out of the Royal purse. Conduct me a
straight way to the home of this Gringo Baconburger and introduce us. I
think it is of the utmost urgency that we meet before the set of sun."



Kronos spoke with stern authority, and the dragon realised that the fun and


Page 18

games were at an end. He padded obediently over to a stone recess, from
which he removed his blue and gold striped scarf, which he wound ten or
fifteen times round his neck with his ivory plated teeth. He moved
towards the entrance of the cave, donning his best Sunday tweed hat,
which he stuck jauntily between his large, floppy ears.



"OK. Shall we go? Do you really want to go? Is it absolutely necessary to
go? It's rather late to go calling. Do you think we'11 wake him up? Do you
think he'll be annoyed? It's rather a long way. Jolly cold outside, it's - "



"Stop fussing, you overgrown tadpole!" snarled Kronos. "Can't you ever
summon up the spirit of adventure, worrying whether a dwarf - a mere
dwarf - will be inconvenienced or not. Pshaw! Tcha! Hrmph! What care I
for dwarfs - or any other creature? The only thing that matters is that I
see him, and that we proceed without delay."



With that, Kronos strolled out of the cave, muttering to himself that it
was difficult to find a chap of one's own intellectual ability, and that
dragons could sometimes be extremely boring.



Harry stumbled along behind him, his clawed feet slipping occasionally on
the moss-covered stones that had been carved into the staircase for the
use of the local residents. The dragon, feeling rather hurt, bumbled and
stumbled along until he finally overtook Kronos, and, leading the way down
the slope to the edge of the valley, pointed out the lights twinkling in the
distance: The home of Gringo Baconburger.



At that hour of the night there was nobody else to be seen. No busy dwarfs

heading towards the mines, with spades and shovels slung over their
shoulders; no little people pushing carts filled with home-made produce
for sale to the mining canteens. There were no ladies of noble class riding
their magnificent unicorns through the hills, followed by their foot
servants. The land was quiet and dark as far as the eye could see. The


Page 19

moon was like a giant, iced vanilla balloon gleaming brilliantly in the
pagoda of the sky. lt lit the way to the deep bottom of the valley, clearly
showing the stairs which led to the residential area where Gringo had his
small stone house.



As they neared the house the moon passed overhead, and for a few seconds
lit up the the golden chimney, perched on top of the roof. This chimney had
become a symbol, for the members of Gringo's political party, of the
strife that was yet to come. Harry paused, and gazed intently at the
beautiful object, which somewhat resembled a gold charm on a bracelet.



He was a sentimental fellow, and he felt tears pricking at his large watery

eyes.



"Kronos, dan't you think it would be rather lovely if I could have a chimney

like that? Or perhaps a silver one would be more fashionable?"



Kronos preserved a dignified silence. Though he had raised the dragon
himself, he could hardly believe that the animal could talk such nonsense.
Kronos, like most sorcerers, was something of a Victorian, and averse to
any display of enthusiasm or extremes of emotion. He had never learnt to
cry, and rarely showed signs of sentiment: In the Magician's Guild it is, of
course, considered a sign of weakness. (Although it is rumoured that the
green witches of Aquitania had learnt certain feminine wiles; in order to
charm wizards and steal away their magic powers!)



Upon reaching Gringo's house, Kronos removed his magical golden wand
from his inside vest pocket and clasped it firmly in his left hand. Should
they encounter any problems, he intended to use it. Harry peered through
the lattice windows, and saw that several candles had been lit and
carefully positioned on a large beechnut desk, at which a rather handsome
dwarf was seated, scribbling furiously away on a piece of parchment.
Kronos rapped sharply at the door, and the dwarf, looking up, saw the


Page 20

dragon breathing furiously at him through the window.



Gringo rose slowly from his cushioned chair, pushed the dark curly locks
from his eyes, removed the horn-rimmed reading glasses from his
unusually small nose, walked purposefully towards the front door, opened
it sharply and proceeded to knock the magic wand straight out of Kronos's
hand!



"None of that here, old man", he admonished the astonished magician. "We
don't go in for magic and that sort of tomfoolery around here, you know.
Put away that juvenile by-product of crowd-control technology! Grow up,
be a man, get a decent job! Come in, sit down, have a scotch and soda!"



Kronos, scarlet with indignation, grudgingly followed Gringo into the
hallway, bending his long neck to avoid colliding with the copper bell
hanging from the doorway. Harry, stifling a fiery chortle, winked at the
gold chimney, did a little pirouette and skipped after Kronos into the hall.



They followed Gringo into a narrow room furnished with comfortable
weather-beaten sofas covered with cotton sheets. The room was too low
for the dragon and he had to curl his immensely long tail into a tight ball
and sit on it. Gringo motioned Kronos into the largest of the three
armchairs, while he went to the sideboard and poured out three strong
measures of whisky in large crystal goblets. Kronos had gone an even
darker shade of purple and was rubbing his hands together so violently that
they gave off sparks of anger.



The dwarf served the drinks with irritating slowness. Kronos's face
turned from purple to white with fury, and smoke began to pour out from
his ears. Harry, whose tail was suffering severe cramp, collapsed to the
floor, rolled over on his back, and stared gloomily at the ceiling, deeply
regretting that he had left the posters lying about his room. Gringo handed
round the drinks (shaken, not stirred), and sat sedately on his cushioned


Page 21

chair. Kronos finished his glass in one gulp, and spitting with rage jumped

to his feet and screeched at Harry, who was by now rolling about in a drunken

stupor:



"You know alcohol and magic potion don't mix! You foolish, foolish dragon.
You should be ashamed of yourself!"



Gringo winked at the befuddled dragon. "So you are the beast that
everybody has been complaining about. Perhaps instead of casting your
evil fog over these parts, you would do us all a favour and smother the
palace instead."


"Certainly not!" interrupted Kronos. "What a disgraceful suggestion. What
do you know about dragons anyway?"



"Actually quite a lot", answered Gringo, complacently. "My doctoral thesis

contained three chapters on the influence of the red dragons on the
Kerovnian population during the reign of King Faldous. It is well known that
these beasts possessed quite alarming intellectual faculties, and that they
were used - "



"Enough! Enough, I say." screamed the magician, his face turning every
colour of the rainbow. "For heavens sake, enough of this idle chitchat,
let's get down to business."



"I am not entirely sure," replied Gringo calmly, "That you and I have any

business to discuss." This prompted a stream of unprintable abuse from
the irate magician, causing Harry to squirm into a corner with
embarrassment and wrap his tail firmly around his ears.



Gringo stared at the sorcerer as he whipped his magic wand from his
pocket and brandished it in the dwarf's face.


Page 22

"I'll get my own back an you, you stunted little villain! Don't imagine you

could possibly seize power in Kerovnia without consulting the genius of
Kronos. Your puny political activities are at an end, my friend. The time is
ripe for me to rule all of this domain, and you and your like will grovel as
my subjects!"



With this parting shot he swept out of the room, and Harry, uncoiling his
aching limbs, swayed out after him.



"Well", said Gringo, "It looks like the fun is just beginning." He replenished

his empty glass, picked up the telephone, dialled a secret number, and said

"George, get over here pronto! And hold the front page, we've got one hell of
a story for the palace newspaper! Oh, bring Pete with you, while you're at
it. We'll have to creep over to that dragon's lair to sneak some photos.
What do you think of this for a headline? KRONOS AND DRAGON EN TETE A
TETE - WHAT A TEA PARTY!"


Page 23



   CHAPTER FIVE



The peachy summer days drifted slowly by. Kerovnia, land of milk and
honey (and nut yogurt) blossomed and flourished in the eternal sunshine.
The court that year had decided to remain in Keros, mainly because Erik
had heard, from underground sources, of a potential dwarf uprising. Queen
Jendah, however, had left for the winter palace where she was working on
her royal architectural projects.



Zita and Kronos had gone on holiday, and were shortly to attend a secret

sorcerers conterence. Lacey was packing; excitedly preparing to leave for

Aquitania to join her fianc. Love had transformed Lacey: her hair had
grown shoulder length, the braces had been removed from her teeth, and
the judicious use of plum and strawberry make-up cleverly disguised many
of her spots and pimples. She was wearing higher heeled shoes, and
shorter dresses, and she proudly displayed her knobbly knees to the
assembled journalists at the railway station as she boarded the purple
express for her departure to Aquitania.



In the happy throng, concealed behind the band playing the Kerovnian
national anthem, lurked Gringo, accompanied by Pete and George, the
Underworld newspaper's photographers. Lacey's excitement at visiting
Aquitania for the first time was fully justified; she could see that most of
the country looked like a gigantic seaside resort with the occasional
enclave of coconut or almond trees. The waters of the Aquitanian sea
were the purest and greenest in the universe, with unrivalled displays of


Page 24

coral and fish. The city of Aquatica itself is a brilliant white, with houses
of domed roofs and porpoise-shaped swimming pools. The palace where
Lacey was to stay was fashioned of pink marble, and flamingos fluttered
in droves from every rampart and tower.



As Lacey alighted from the train the whole of Aquatica seemed to be there
to meet her, and suddenly, there was Malcolm, rushing forward with arms

outstretched to greet her! He was tanned and fit, wearing his grey and
white tracksuit, white leather sneakers, with his walkman strung casually
around his muscular neck. Only one person was seen to be scowling
slightly. Lord Audarva, father of the bossy and jealous Lady Franceska.
Malcolm shepherded Lacey away from the tumultuous throng and they
embarked in his private helicopter for the Palace. They alighted on the
heli-pad on the Palace roof, scattering squawking flamingoes left and right.
The appointed ladies in waiting, curtseying and giggling, led the way to the 
lift, which descended to Lacey's bedroom suite overlooking the famous
cactus gardens.



Her rooms were magnificent - Larger than any she had seen before, with
their ornate white and pink silk hangings, and intricate antique furniture.
She had her own telephone, television, and two video recorders. One for
her, and a smaller one for Poops.



While Lacey was unpacking her Cindy dolls, the ladies in waiting bustled
around with towels and toiletries, hairbrushes and ribbons, puffs and
powders, soaps and unguents. Suddenly the phone rang - It was her mother,
Queen Jendah, telephoning long distance from Kozza, the capital of the
mountain region. She had been joined at the winter palace by Queen
Hortensa, and the two ladies had spent many a happy hour together in deep
conclave, plotting and planning the forthcoming Royal Wedding. She was on
tenterhooks to enquire of Lacey if she was behaving herself in a Royal and
ladylike manner? - If everything was going well? Was Malcolm truly
smitten? - The Aquitanian court duly impressed by her ladylike beauty and


Page 25

decorum? - Was Poops behaving himself? - And had she remembered to
pack a second pair of tights?



As hours became days, and days drifted into weeks, Lacey hardly noticed
the passing of time in her constant delight and happiness with Aquitania in
general, and the bold Malcolm in particular. Things however, did not
continue so smoothly in the Kingdom of Kerovnia. Unrest amongst the
general population was increasing. Dissatisfaction was rife because of
the burden of increased taxation. The Royal family already owned two
palaces and a residential seaside villa, and now another Royal Palace was
planned, not to mention the enormous expenditure of the fast approaching
Royal Wedding. Queen Jendah had several private building projects on
hand, and the Added Value Tax on the emerald mining had risen to an
unprecedented 23%! Erik had been warned by his subterranean espionage
agency that mass insurrection was brewing and he decided to take the heat
out of the situation by holding a democratic by-election.



This was a unique, historic, and (some thought) dangerous notion:- but

nevertheless Erik insisted that candidates for the election should
comprise not only of a member of the Noble family guild, but also
representatives of the Little People, Gnome and Dwarf communities. It
was the dawn of a new era, history was in the melting pot: Erik, Gringo,
Kronos, Jendah, Zita, (and indeed Lacey herself) would all have their part
to play in the rich tapestry of events that were soon to follow.



Lacey splashed happily in the dappled water of the swimming pool,
surrounded by the playful Dolphos, (the hybrid of dolphin-frogs), that she
had befriended during her stay in Aquitania. She felt fitter and happier
than she had done in her entire life. This, despite her ominous
lobster-pink colour: a result of either too little sun-screen lotion, or too
much of Malcolm! Although the Princess's visit was running more
smoothly than Malcolm had expected, this did not deter his gaze from
wandering from Lacey's face, and dwelling on the lanky legged Franceska,


Page 26

as she scowled aggressively at the royal photographers. He felt a twinge of

regret that he would shortly see her only on state occasions - and that
official business would have to replace monkey business! Jumping up and
stretching to the full four feet and two inches of his tanned and rippling
frame, he dived in royal fashion into the heated water, and energetically
swam several lengths of the pool to impress the female spectators. Lacey
stopped splashing around, and gazed wonderingly at her Prince. She pushed
the Dolphos to one side and put a hand to her trembling bosom, as Malcolm
calmly swam over to Franceska, and wickedly pinched her toes.



Franceska squealed "Don't do that Malcolm, you know how ticklish I am."



"Why don't you come for a swim, you lazy beast" he quipped, and grabbing
her by the ankle, pulled her into the water. Then, while the guests laughed
wildly at his antics, he chased the Lady Franceska round the perimeter of
the pool, whooping and yelling as she screamed with delight. Her pleasure
was considerably increased when she noticed a shocked Princess Lacey
regarding the scene with horror and dismay.



"Malcolm. Oh no, Malcolm" Lacey whispered. "Don't do this to me. Why are
you so interested in that - that thing, when I am here? Why, Malcolm? Oh,
Why?" Her whisper rose steadily to a nasal whine, and Poops, who was
fast asleep under a large cactus, began barking fiercely.



Dorabs are often over-protective towards their mistresses, and when he
saw Lacey's distress he whipped himself into a fury. Dashing towards the
edge of the pool, he tripped over an empty wine glass and somersaulted
into the water. With teeth bared and nostrils flaring, he dorab-paddled at
high speed towards the frolicking Franceska.



Before you could say "Humfrey Humbleburger!" Poops had his teeth in the
top half of her bikini, and as the wild flurry of flashing teeth and frothing
spray subsided....


Page 27

SHOCK! HORROR! READ ALL ABOUT IT - Franceska's torso was suddenly
revealed to the delighted throng, as naked as the day she was born!



Malcolm's lithe figure carved through the water towards Franceska, partly
to rescue her from the vicious dorab, but mainly to get a close up view of
the lady's embarrassment. Teeth snapping, fur flying, Poops turned on
Malcolm, and viciously bit his finger. Malcolm screamed in pain and hit out
at the tiny creature. Missing the Dorab by an inch, he caught Franceska a
glancing blow on the jaw and knocked her under the water. The guests,
thinking Malcolm was suffering from sun stroke, and was attacking the
lovely lady, began diving into the water and raining blows from all sides
upon the unfortunate Prince, who was soon knocked unconscious, and had to
be rescued by the Royal Lifeguards.



Lacey became hysterical and ran screaming from the pool to her room,
closely followed by several ladies of the court, shrieking and swooning as
they fluttered behind her. The horror of the entire scene had been caught
by two dwarf journalists, hiding behind some pringle bushes, who were
bearing Gringo's support badge, and had been taking photographs of the
prevailing confusion.



News of the events spread quickly to other lands, and the ten o'clock news
on Aquitanian television devoted a full hour to the story. King Erik was
disturbed from a heavy game of pinochle, to attend an emergency cabinet
meeting to discuss the advisability of his daughter's intended marriage.
Hortensa cut short her visit to Silenissia to return home, and Jendah
rushed back to the capital city to comfort her daughter. Foreign reporters
had been urged to treat the entire affair as an unfortunate accident - mere
high spirits by the holiday guests - but the underworld press made
excellent use of both pictures and story to undermine further the King's
already shaky position.


Page 28


Kronos, chortling continually to himself, turned the whole affair to his

advantage; persuading many members of the Palace staff that Lacey
suffered from congenital madness, which was responsible for the entire
incident. And when the poor red-eyed princess returned home, with no
official greeting or palace band for welcome, unkind whispers and rumours
abounded on every side. Jendah decided her daughter should spend several
months at Kozza, recuperating from the traumatic affair. Malcolm was in
disgrace, and was sent to the countryside, where, as a punishment, he was
enrolled as leader of the boy scouts association. Deep in his heart he still
felt strongly for Lacey and was ashamed of his own behaviour. Why had he
sparked off the whole ridiculous incident? Perhaps, after all, Franceska's
mother had been a Green Witch!



Page 29



   CHAPTER SIX



For Gringo and many of the Dwarfs, it seemed an eternity until election
day. Their time had been fully occupied with many and varied tasks,
pinning posters of Gringo to the trees around the forest perimeter,
addressing rallies of eager dwarfs, and preparing political speeches. Not
to mention the day-to-day running of the emerald mines and the tourist
industry.



Erik's spies had promised a reward of two golden coins to every dwarf,
gnome or little person who voted for the Royalist party, for the King felt
that if a commoner was elected to the empty seat in the forthcoming
by-election, it would signal the beginning of the end of his tenuous grip on
his empire.



Malcolm, in Aquitania, was beginning to enjoy the outdoor life. He led his
boy scout troop with pride, and was secretly planning a trip to Kerovnia to
sweep Lacey off her feet and marry her in total secrecy, surrounded by his
eagle scouts - disappearing with Lacey and the entire troop as company to
some forlorn country retreat, where there would be plenty of rock
climbing and hiking to indulge in.



Kronos, on the other hand, was plunged into a deep despair. Although he
had nothing but contempt for King Erik, the last thing in the world he
wanted was to see the dreadful Gringo elected to office. He had planned to
prepare a magic potion which he would introduce into Kerovnia's water



Page 30



supply, which would sway the populace towards the royalist party. But due
to lack of time and because he was without the vital assistance of Zita
(who was busily employed in looking after the prostrate Lacey) he was
unable to prepare the magic potion in time. He stayed locked in his room,
sulking away the few days that remained before the election.



At last the great day dawned - and Gringo won the seat by a stupendous
majority. As the Dwarf journalists proudly read the notices on television
that night, Gringo was carried, shoulder high, to the local tavern, where
his supporters drank whisky (The finest, distilled by the Roobikyoub
dwarfs) and Sparkling Spring Water (The most pure from the Obakanga
valley) all night long. When the results came through, Erik hurled his
crown on the floor, and jumped up and down on it! A fit of bad temper,
which he instantly regretted, as it was full of spiky diamonds and very
knobbly rubies!



Kronos, on the other hand, once he was presented with the fait accompli of

Gringo's election, wasted no time on idle fury, but began sketching out
future plans for tricking the dwarf leader into collaboration with the evil
sorcerer.



After the hectic events of the last few days, Gringo fell into a deep
slumber. He dreamt, amongst other things, that he was making his maiden
speech in parliament - and suddenly awoke to discover that he was!



The long Kerovnian summer months drifted slowly to an end, marked by an
Indian summer of brilliant sunshine and cloudless blue sky. The wheat and
barley harvest were completed well on time, because the little people,
overjoyed by Gringo's success, worked harder than they had ever done
before. The dwarves, too, went happily about their labours, singing and
whistling political airs, in polite mockery of the King and noblemen. The
only person who seemed dissatisfied was Gringo himself, for, although he
had the attention of certain radical Royalists, no political or social



Page 31



changes seemed imminent.



A few weeks prior to the National Celebration and Parade day, Gringo
called an emergency meeting of the Elderly Dwarf Society, and outlined his
plans for a national strike. He was intent on ridding Kerovnia of Kronos
and Zita and their strange powers over the Royal Family; for surely they
were in league with the forces of evil? Once Kronos and Zita had been
banished, it would not be too difficult, he suggested, to gradually
dismantle the entire monarchic system? Lacey could marry Prince
Malcolm and spend the rest of her days in Aquitania; and the King and
Queen should be politely, but if necessary forcibly, removed - either to the
summer home or the winter palace. This would leave the capital city free
for the dwarves themselves to inhabit. Gringo secretly looked forward to
redecorating the palatial rooms at Keros, and inviting the numerous
members of his family to take up residence in the various outhouses! The
whole scheme was widely approved by his friends and associates, who had
spent most of their working lives toiling in the mines - to the sole benefit
of the King's exchequer.



Queen Jendah was depressed and aggravated by the current events in
Kerovnia, though for quite a different reason from that which was
upsetting her husband. She had received several nagging letters from her
erstwhile friend, Hortensa, urging her to decide on a wedding date for the
Royal couple. She presented various excuses for Malcolm's extraordinary
behaviour; saying that he was a reformed character and that he would be
only too pleased to assist Erik in the day-to-day running of Kerovnia. She
reminded Jendah that Lattecia was almost eighteen, and was getting
somewhat long in the tooth for an unmarried lady! These letters inspired
rage in the Queen, who realised that Hortensa was trying to install this
sprig of Aquitanian Royalty in the Kerovnian lineage. If her precious
daughter were to marry the baboon, he could legally remain in Kerovnia for
ever - and eventually force the King to abdicate in favour of his daughter

and the Prince Consort!



Page 32



Malcolm was completely under Hortensa's thumb, and if given the
opportunity he would soon remove the dwarfs from political office and
replace the mineworkers with Aquitanian peasants. Jendah made up her
mind that under no circumstances would her daughter ever marry the
neighbouring Prince. She would soon find a suitable match elsewhere.



Lacey, unaware of her mother's plans regarding her future, continued to
write to Malcolm twice daily. She dictated her letters to Zita, who passed
them immediately to Jendah. All these letters were put into a large
copper chest, hidden under the Queen's bed. All the incoming letters from
Malcolm were discreetly removed from the Princess's mail tray first thing
in the morning, and also hidden in the copper chest.



Zita continually nagged the poor girl, telling her she was wasting her time

writing to Malcolm, as he obviously had no intention of replying. The
princess grieved deeply and began to sicken. She was no longer the dumpy,
knock-kneed girl of yore. She soon turned into a scarecrow-like figure,
with a grey face, and straggly hair. Her pale eyes became black with
sorrow, and sunk deep into her wrinkled face. She begged Zita to use her
magic powers to explain why Malcolm had forgotten her; and Zita would
then pretend to look deeply into her crystal ball and tell disturbing tales
of Malcolm's love for a certain Aquitanian lady, and how he had lost
interest in Lacey because of her lack of 'sporting' prowess. The situation
was made even worse, because Kronos in his off-duty hours would visit
Zita and encourage her to keep the princess well away from Malcolm.
Kronos feared that if Lacey married the foreign Prince, and power was
eventually handed over to Queen Hortensa, then the dwarfs would be
banished from Kerovnia, and the Aquitanian army would take command of the
kingdom; whereupon Kronos himself would at best be banished, or at
worst assassinated by some Aquitanian thug.



In the early days of Autumn, the political situation finally came to a head.



Page 33



Parliament had been convened to discuss seating arrangements for the
famous September Parade some two days later. A list of foreign guests to
be invited to the ceremony had also to be drawn up without delay. The
debate droned on for three hours or more, when suddenly Gringo leapt to
his feet, spectacles in hand, and loudly proclaimed:



"Gentlemen! The time has come to face the realities in Kerovnia. How
many times have I beseeched you to revise and revitalise our society? But
all you do is sleep and snore through every parliamentary session, when
there is work to be done."



Shouts of protest arose from the assembled members, waving their
clenched fists, and demanding that the Dwarf should be removed from the
chamber.



Erik, who was fast asleep, was woken by Kronos. He looked blearily around
him, and, quite misunderstanding the situation, gestured to Gringo to
finish his speech. The dwarf did not hesitate, and raising his voice to
fever pitch, pointed at the Royal Magician, and uttered the following curse:



"Damn you, Kronos! Damn you and your sister Zita! A curse upon your evil
souls! It is you who are responsible for all the ills that assail our
country!"



Kronos jumped to his feet, bellowing in rage, and called upon the household

cavalry to take Gringo prisoner. At that moment a group of angry dwarfs

appeared, brandishing sabres and guns; and before the cavalry had a chance
to arrest Gringo, the armed group of little men formed a circle around the

perimeter of the hall, their weapons pointing towards the assembly. The
King, too bewildered to speak, collapsed in a heap on his throne, weeping
copiously. Gringo jumped down from the podium and made his way to the
centre of the stage, through a throng of cheering dwarves.



Page 34



"This is your last chance Kronos. Either you leave the palace and the land
of Kerovnia peacefully, or you and your sister-in-crime, Zita, will be
imprisoned!"



He turned to the King: "Your Majesty, do you not realise that you have been

nurturing two vipers in your bosom? Your magician, and your ex-nursery
maid? Do you realise the harm they have caused over the years through
their malign influence on the Princess Lacey, the future Queen of
Kerovnia?"



The King's sobs were replaced by a wail of anguish, "Oh no" he moaned "can

this be true, Gringo? I fear it is, I fear you are right after all!"



Silence descended on the hall as the audience held its breath. Suddenly the

dwarves rushed forward and Kronos, snarling and barking like a mad dog
was pinned to the ground. His face became a deep purple, and his ears
belched forth flame and smoke. The congregation of elderly noblemen
retreated slowly to the doors, seeking the safety of the fire exits. Kronos,
bellowing like a wounded buffalo as he realised the totality of his defeat,
clasped his hands together, and intoned a strange incantation, beseeching
help from his unknown Master.



For a few moments nothing happened; and then suddenly the entire room
exploded into a myriad of lights, as an orange ball of fire descended
through the roof and plummeted to the polished wooden floor. Fortunately
Gringo had a pair of sunglasses with him, but the light was so
overwhelming that the dwarves holding Kronos were forced to let him go.
Gringo stared in amazement as Kronos leapt into a burning fiery carriage
that appeared from the orange ball of flame. lt was drawn by four black
horses, rearing and snorting, pulling and tearing at their harnesses of
molten red fire. Their hooves scraped the floor, the silver of their shoes
glittering and sparking; their whinnying, a sound too terrible for human
ears.



Page 35



The ball of fire floated through the ceiling, and Gringo shivered with fear
as he saw the driver of the devilish contraption. He wore a long black
cape, his top hat was aflame, a long driving whip firmly gripped in his
cloven leather gloves. He howled and screamed with glee at the frightened
throng pressing themselves into the corners of the hall.



"See you all again" he screeched; and as his words reverberated on the
wind, the fiery vision vanished.



Eventually order was restored, and Erik was put to bed with a severe dose
of hiccups. Gringo rallied his supporters and gave instructions that they
should spread out around the town to avoid any trouble. He gave orders for
Zita to be arrested, and removed from the country home of Kozza, to a
place of safety far beneath the great Atina mountains.



Page 36



   CHAPTER SEVEN



Gringo decided that the national celebration day should go ahead, although
he would have to force agreement to a democratic general election later
on. On reflection he felt that the terrifying events that day in parliament
were nothing more than a magic trick produced by Kronos to effect his
escape. He was convinced that he would shortly return - if only in an
attempt to rescue his sister, Zita.



It was thought better to keep all reports of these strange and terrifying
events away from the ears of the fragile Princess Lacey. As the
celebration day grew nearer, excitement mounted among the Kerovnians. It
was felt in the air that great events were afoot. There were many radical
changes in Kerovnian society, the most unusual being the formation, by
public decree, of a Worry and Suggestion Society. Large yellow boxes were
placed in the main streets, into which people could place papers indicating
their worries, desires, and suggestions for reform in Kerovnia. The boxes
were emptied regularly three times a day, and the suggestions were
studied by the president of the Society and his colleagues. By this, and
other subtle and insidious means, Kerovnian society began to turn quietly
and discreetly into a community of dwarves.



The morning of the National Celebration proved to be fine, if rather windy.

Erik, still weak from his chronic attack of hiccups, managed a brave smile
as his stable lads brought Bruce to the mounting block. The royal horse
was in fine spirits, his long black mane was threaded with gold, and pink



Page 37



roses had been fastened to his tail. He had been shod with golden shoes,
and his horn was of a matching hue. Queen Jendah was sporting a long
sweeping gown of pure silver, on which were fashioned hundreds of tiny
flags of the Kerovnian state.



Erik, who had mellowed somewhat since his illness, permitted her for the
first time to wear a crown. Unfortunately no crowns had been forged for
women in the Kingdom for many centuries, and hers was too large, and
threatened either to fall off the back of her head or slip down over her
nose. Lacey had not been permitted to join the royal procession, so she
had to be content to watch her parents leave the Palace from the main
balcony. lt was considered wiser for her own safety that she remained
within the Palace walls, although she planned to join the festivities later
in the day. The Royal cortge moved slowly away in the brilliant sunshine.



The King and Queen were flanked by members of their personal guard,
dressed in their best uniforms of red and gold. Behind the foot soldiers
walked the royal mascot, none other than Poops, dressed for the occasion
in a tiny gold and red coat. He was followed by the head kennel-keeper,
dressed in identical uniform.



Then came a unit of the golden cavalry mounted on pink unicorns
representing the light-guards, and finally a division of the heavy-guard
mounted on pale blue elephants. Behind the elephants followed a
procession of royal guests and various members of the aristocracy. The
royal cortge proceeded peacefully for three miles, the cheering becoming
ever louder as the sun rose higher in the sky. But then, as they rounded a
narrow bend, to pass in front of the Town Hall where the mayor was
waiting to greet them, Bruce suddenly panicked at the sight of a green and
yellow crocodile and reared high on his hind legs. Erik's visor slammed
shut across his eyes, the charger reared again, and the King lost his
balance and hurtled to the ground, hitting his head on the pavement, and
was promptly knocked unconscious.



Page 38



The guards rushed forward to assist his majesty, and Jendah, fearing that
her mount would be crushed in the panic, spurred her little unicorn
forward. Suddenly out of the blue a large stone whistled through the air,
and struck her smartly in the centre of her forehead. She toppled off her
mount, and in an instant died.



A mysteriaus shadow fluttered over her and disappeared.



The horrific news of Jendah's assassination spread quickly throughout the

neighbouring countries, and Kerovnia went into deep mourning for the
beautiful Queen. The King, who had suffered nothing more than a bump on
the head, retired to Kerga with his daughter to prepare for the funeral.



They were joined at Kerga by numerous noblemen and state councillors,
who gathered to advise the King on what course of action should be taken.
Many thought that Erik himself was at fault, because he had allowed the
lowly dwarfs to take power; and others blamed him for exiling the
sorcerer - who surely could have predicted, and thus probably avoided, the
tragic train of events.



Queen Hortensa, for her part, feared that a matrimonial union would now
never take place between the two countries. On the advice of her green
witch she determined to marry Erik, thus ensuring that Kerovnia and
Aquitania were permanently linked. One person who had been quite
forgotten by those at Kerga (admittedly an easy person to forget) was the
noble Malcolm. On hearing the news of Queen Jendah's death, his thoughts
raced to his beloved Lacey; and he proceeded post-haste by way of
helicopter to Kerga.



Many peopie were milling around the palace, but Lacey was nowhere to be
seen. The Princess spent most of her days looking out to sea, seated on a
great wooden raft that floated on the waters on the main palace swimming



Page 39



pool. She was unaware that the Prince had arrived in Kerga, and thought
that her happiness had been lost forever. Malcolm explored every nook and
cranny of the Summer Palace and eventually wandered into the extensive
gardens. Creamy clouds speckled the pale blue sky, light winds rose off
the sea, and brushed Lacey's hair against her cabbage cheeks. Poops, who
was also in a state of nervous depression, sat next to her listlessly
reading a comic. She stared miserably out to sea, searching for a ship that
would come and rescue her.



Suddenly, out of the blue sky, a voice reverberated across the water:
"Lacey, my darling, so this is where you have been hiding from me all this
time. At last I have found you!"



Lacey rose to her feet, and at the sight of Malcolm, swooned and fell into
the water. Poops barked madly, and Malcolm carried the bedraggled
princess to the safety of the shore and administered the kiss of life, at
unnecessary length. Eventually she opened her pale red eyes, looked into
the deep blue of Malcolm's and know that, at last, she had found True Love.



"We must leave here at once!" said the Prince, "Let us make our way to the

capital and seek help from friends. Will you come with me, my adored
one?"



"Of course", uttered Lacey weakly. "I will follow you to the ends of the

earth." Tears of happiness, mingled with beetroot mascara, ran down her
cheeks.



"Let us leave at once" whispered Malcolm "I shall order a carriage of
unicorns to be prepared. It is too dangerous to travel by helicopter, we
could be intercepted by a unit of flying walruses! - Go quickly and pack
some clothes and we shall be on our way to happiness"



Whilst this idyllic scene was taking place, Erik sat listening unhappily to



Page 40



the recriminations of his advisors, demanding the removal of all dwarfs
from the land of Kerovnia.



"They are but murderers and thieves!" screamed the courtiers. "They killed
the Queen. Banish them forever, let them be punished for all eternity!"



A united cry arose from the assembled throng, louder and louder still:



"Banish the murderers, banish the murderers!"



"Perhaps they are correct", mused Erik at length. "Bring forth my secretaries

and let them enscribe this decree: 'All dwarves are henceforth
banished from Kerovnia! All power that has been given them, whether
political or financial, is hereby rescinded'"



The secretaries busily scribbled the King's decree on a huge sheet of
parchment, and the noblemen nodded in agreement.



Hortensa felt strangely moved by Erik's display of strength in such
difficult times - and promised herself that she would marry the bereaved
King at the earliest opportunity.



Erik then ordered the assembly to leave the room, indicating by a nod and a

vague wave of the hand that the audience was over. Jauntily adjusting his

September crown so that it covered his balding patch, he rose to his feet,

pulling his ermine cloak firmly around him. As he left the room the crowd
bowed low in obeisance. Erik felt decidedly better: he had rarely felt so wise,
so noble, so respected - so very much a King!



Page 41



   EPILOGUE



And so it came to pass that almost all the friendly dwarf community,
together with their cousins, the Little People, were forced to leave their
jobs, abandon their stone houses and go to live in the neighbouring lands to
scrape a meagre existence from the soil.



The resourceful Gringo, however, stayed behind and rallied his compatriots
and friends. The more influential of his companions were hidden safely in
the mountainous regions in bolt-holes that had been bulit long ago in case
of war or other emergencies.



Erik dwelt at Kerga, cosseted by Hortensa, who strived to win his heart.

Although the King found her intelligent (for a woman), he had no intention
of remarrying; at least not until he had found his precious Lacey. Since
Malcolm and his princess had fled the summer palace, no news had reached
Erik of their whereabouts. He had been informed by a coachman that the
Prince had requested a carriage and four unicorns, and the last he had seen
of Princess Lacey, she was being bundled into the carriage by Malcolm.
Then they had sped away from Kerga in a cloud of dust, and disappeared.



At first the King had found it difficult to believe that his daughter could
have run away with such a fellow, and thought that perhaps the coachman
had been mistaken. He hoped that Lacey had simply taken up residence at
Kozza to be alone with her thoughts. He could not have been further from
the truth!



Page 42



Two weeks after the funeral a messenger, travelling south on an errand for
Queen Hortensa, thought that he had spotted the carriage heading north.
The description of the man driving the unicorns fitted Malcolm, although
the Princess had not been seen. The King began to worry about Lacey quite
seriously. Spies were sent out to every corner of the land in an endeavour
to trace the couple, and a huge reward was offered for any news of their
whereabouts.



Erik began to lose weight, and took to spending long hours in his
bed-chamber, reflecting on the miseries of life. Hortensa, quick to take
advantage of the situation, made herself head of the Kerovnian parliament.



The months sped by, and soon the winter melted into spring, with still no
news of the Princess and her Prince. The King took finally and completely
to his bed and the land of Kerovnia plunged into financial and political
despair!



As the economic climate degenerated, it began to look as if the Royal
Treasury would fail to pay off the national debt. Nature herself took a
strange course - the great forests that had so dominated the countryside,
with their emerald green beauty, began to wither and die. Agricultural
experts were asked to explain why the thousand-year-old trees were
suddenly losing their lust for life. Tree surgeons tried many different
medications but the trees continued to die, and it was feared that very
soon there would be no forest left at all.



The greatest loss to the community was Princess Lacey and Prince
Malcolm. Both Hortensa and Erik, in their grief, had abandoned the idea of
seeing their children again, and feared that the wicked dwarfs had
assassinated them whilst on route to Kozza. To console their grief, they
decided to remain together at Kerga and plan the future of their two



Page 43



countries.



And so the seasons changed once more, the skies became a brittle,
brilliant blue, and snow fell on the mountain tops. The dwarfs went about
their underground activities with as much zeal as in the old days, and
planned the coming revolution. The tourist season proved to be a minor
success that year; which was of some comfort to the King, and throughout
the winter months people were to be found trekking among the foothills
mounted on the pretty pink unicorns.



There was an extraordinary discovery that year (first sighted by two

investigative journalists) of a snowman, some ten feet tall, who
overlooked the largest of the ice valleys. People travelled from far and
wide to look at him, and admire the clownish smile forever pinned to his
icy features. His eyes seemed to be focussed on one particular mountain
peak - and from time to time a frosty tear rolled down his icy cheeks,
turning to a tiny myriad-hue icicle as it touched the ground. It was almost
as if he had lost something; or wanted to go in search of something, but
could not, because he was so firmly rooted to his icy patch.



It was said by some that at night, when the moon hung silently in the sky

counting the stars, it would tell sad tales of the old man living in the
moon to the snowman, and in response his icy friend would invent strange
stories of magicians and kings, fairies and princesses.....



Page 44