    - and why it's no longer standing
    - but statistically it is possible
    - from an amazing distance
    - how they did it, but shudder at the possibility of doing it themselves
    - they are steel doing it
"Beam me aboard Scotty!" <-> "Will a 2 X 4 do Captain?"
"Build a watch in 56,179 easy steps" by C. Forsberg.
"C.I.A." -- A contradiction in terms most of the time.
"Cashew?"  "Gesundheit!"
"Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?"
"Dr. Scott!"  "Janet!"  "Brad!"  "Rocky!"  "YO ADRIAN!"
"Experience comes from bad judgment." - Mark Twain.
"Happiness is a warm puppy." said the anaconda.
"He who hesitates is lunch !"
"Honey?" is that what you call this bee barf?
"I drank WHAT!?" - Socrates
"If he catches you, you're through" - Road Runner.
"Isn't everybody happy?" - Machiavelli
"Let me sweeten the deal a bit for you,"  - Beelzebub.
"Life is full of little surprises."    - Pandora.
"Make love not war" people probably flunked both.
"Mr. Worf, scan that ship."  "Aye, Captain... 300 DPI?
"Nietzsche is dead,"   God.
"No, I said Bud Light!" - Captain of the Hindenburg
"Nurse! I said: "SLIP off his SPECtacles!"
"Off with her head!" shouted the Queen.
"Ok, now for a quick backuL+b&2PO^1+=.
"Once,"  adverb:  Enough.
"Scotty. hurry. beam me"  uragg^* NO CARRIER.
"That's entertainment," - Vlad the Impaler.
"Tourist Season" : When it's OK to shoot them.
"Wagner's music is better than it sounds."
"Ward, I'm worried about the Beaver."
"Who cares for you? You're but a deck of cards," -Alice.
#:-)   <:   - Snake stalking person.
$ not found:  A)bort, R)efinance, D)eclare bankruptcy.
$$ doesn't buy happiness, if you don't know where to shop.
'Course, Mrs Essence flushed hers down the loo.
'E's a stiff!  
'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!  
'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!!
'E's not pinin'!  'E's passed on!  
'E's realized that a sheep's life consists of standin' around for a few months and then bein' eaten.  
'Ee, Ah wor 'ungry-loike!
'Ello Mum. 'Ello Dad.
'Ello son.
'Evening, squire!
'Illchester, sir.
'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory!  'E's off the twig!  
'Oo isn't?  
'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tuune, 'yer forced too!
'Ow  are you, Bruce?
'Ow d'you know?
'Ow much?
'T's Not my lucky day, is it?   
'Tis the way of all flesh.
((wrong && wrong) != right)
(A)bort (R)etry (I)nfluence with large hammer.
* FORD    Fix or Repair Daily.
**FLASH** Eveready Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
*IT IS* documented, look under "For Internal Use Only."
*NOW* is a point in time that is already gone.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... (Bo Dereck getting older).
10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.
1024x768x256.... Sounds like one mean woman.
11th Commandment: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's tag 
16 years we've been together.
186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the law. 
186,282 miles per second, it's the LAW.
1st Amendment Rights: use them or lose them.
2 x 4 bbs - a basic board.
2+2=4 (for the time being).
24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case.  Hmmmm.....
3 dreaded words: " hard disk failure."
43% of all statistics are totally worthless..
43rd Law of Computing:  Anything that can go wrong, will.
5  floppy is not better than 3  hard.
640K ought to be enough for anybody. -Bill Gates, 1981.
8 of 10 people suffer hemorrhoids the other 2 enjoy them.
80% of men cheat in America, the rest in Europe.
90% of any business transaction is selling yourself.
90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
90% of politicians give the other 10% a bat reputation.
93.4% of all statistics are made up.  The rest are false.
<-------- The information went data way -------->
<< Just some more irrelevant nonsense from me. >>
<This space unintentionally left blank>.
<tap> <tap> <tap> Is this thing on? 
A "program" is used to turn data into error messages.
A Essex girl
A KGB keyboard has no <ESC> key.
A Robin redbreast in a cage puts all heaven in a rage.
A Rotarian was the first to call John the Baptist "Jack."
A Royal Commission is a broody hen sitting on a china egg.
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces every time.
A bachelor enjoys the chase but doesn't eat the game.
A bad peace is even worse than a war.
A bear robbed of cubs is safer than the folly of fools.
A beard signifies lice, not brains.
A belly button is for salt when you eat celery in bed.
A big enough hammer can usually fix anything.
A big mouth travels far and fast.
A bigot will not reason, a fool cannot, a slave dare not.
A billion dollars isn't what it used to be.
A billion here, a billion there, soon it is real money.
A bird in the bush can't make a mess in your hand.
A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.
A bird in the hand's better than one overhead.
A bit crooked, Bruce.
A bleeding heart can be hell on the carpeting.
A bonded penguin is a happy penguin.
A book is the only immortality.
A book, a friend, a song, a glass, a chaste loving lass.
A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.
A bore is a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
A buffalo with an aqualung.
A cask of wine works more miracles than a church full of saints.
A cat may look at a king.
A celebrity is a person who is known for well-knownness.
A child prodigy knows not to bother with it.
A child's a plaything for an hour.
A choice is always possible, even without any options.
A clean, neat, and orderly desk is a sign of a sick mind.
A clear conscience is often the sign of a bad memory.
A closed mouth gathers no flies.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A committee has six or more legs and no brain.
A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.
A conclusion is where you got tired of thinking.
A constant guest is never welcome.
A crap one
A crappie is not a sunfish found in a toilet.
A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive a car.
A critic knows the way but can't drive the vehicle.
A day without okra is like a day without sunshine.
A day without sunshine is like night.
A deluge of words and drop of sense.
A dime saved is a dollar earned. The rest is Uncle Sam's.
A diploma proves only that you know how to find an answer 
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
A drowning man will clutch at a straw.
A fair question, and one that in recent weeks 'as been much on my mind.
A family reunion is an effective form of birth control.
A farmer is always going to make it rich the next year.
A father is usually a banker provided by nature.
A fool always finds a greater fool to admire him.
A fool and his money are invited everywhere.
A fool and his money are soon parted.
A fool and his money are soon partying!
A fool at forty is a fool indeed.
A fool believes everything.
A fool must now and then be right by chance alone.
A fool must search for a greater fool to find admiration.
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
A friend in need is a pest.
A friend is something you earn.
A g+t please
A generation which ignores history has no past or future.
A gentleman can disagree without being disagreeable.
A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.
A good angle to approach any problem is the try-angle.
A good composer does not imitate; he steals.
A good dog barks when told.
A good drink makes the old young.
A good face is a letter of recommendation.
A good friend is my nearest relation.
A good general rule is to state that the bouquet is better than the taste, and vice versa.
A good man gone wrong is usually a bad man found out.
A good marriage outlasts the first box of dental floss.
A good memory is one trained to forget the trivial.
A good organizer is the one who is careful to plan ahe
A good pun is its own reword.
A good rooster crows in any hen house.
A good scare is better than good advice.
A good scare is worth more than good advice.
A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit.
A gourmet thinking calories is a tart looking at a clock.
A great many family trees were started by grafting.
A gun gives you the body, not the bird.
A ha! 
A hangover:  the wrath of grapes.
A hedge between keeps friendships green.
A hell of a lot!
A hen is an egg's way of making another egg.
A hen tomorrow is more valuable than an egg today.
A hen who lays an egg cackles as if it was an asteroid.
A hole is nothing but you can still break your neck in it 
A homely face and no figure have aided many women heavenward.
A horse is a horse, of course, of course.
A horse may go freely to water, but a pencil must be lead 
A hug warms the soul and places a smile in the heart.
A hundred stars do not equal the light of the one moon.
A hundred thousand lemmings can't all be wrong.
A husband is a lover with the nerve extracted.
A husband is the medicine for the ills of girlhood.
A jerk present in a group indicates a jerk in charge.
A joke's a very serious thing.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
A jug is carried under your coat for a dishonest reason.
A kind word and gun gets you more than a kind word alone.
A king does it with his official seal
A king's castle is his home.
A lady is one who only shows her underwear intentionally.
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless paid for.
A leading authority is someone lucky who guessed right.
A leap year is never a good sheep year.
A learned fool is more foolish than an ignorant fool.
A learned man is an idler who kills time by studying.
A liar isn't believed even when he speaks the truth.
A library is thought in cold storage.
A lie in time saves nine.
A lie is terminological inexactitude.
A little ignorance can go a long way.
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
A little truth helps the lie go down.
A living example of Artificial Intelligence.
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, or was it here?
A low yield atomic bomb is like being a bit pregnant.
A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
A male rite of passage: Writing your name in the snow.
A man can be destroyed but not defeated.
A man can die but once.
A man in love mistakes a pimple for a dimple.
A man is as old as he's feeling. A woman as old as she looks.
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
A man should live forever, or die trying.
A man should never put on his best trousers when going out to battle for freedom and truth.
A man who smiles when things go wrong knows who to blame.
A man without a god is like a fish without a bicycle.
A man's a man for that.
A man's house is his hassle.
A meal without flesh is like feeding on grass.
A mind is a terrible thing to lay off.
A mind is a terrible thing to taste.
A minister says matrimony should be enduring.  It is.
A miser is hard to live with, but makes a fine ancestor.
A miss is as good as a mile.
A mob has many heads, but no brains.
A mother is not a dust rag.
A mother of quintuplets gave spouse a separate bedroom.
A mother pampering a child is raising a serpent.
A mother-in-law is often a mother.
A motion to adjourn is always in order.
A mouse is an elephant built in Japan.
A newspaper is a collection of half-injustices.
A newspaper is to a book as a whore is to a lady.
A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse.
A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!
A noisy exhaust to some almost amounts to a mating call.
A nose in artificial manure is not studying nature.
A nudist has no reason to fear a pickpocket.
A ounce of pretension = a pound of manure!
A pain in the butt may be a friend in need..
A penny for your thoughts; $20 to act it out.
A penny saved is a Congressional oversight.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
A perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 am.
A person does not have a sense of humor, it has you.
A person in a passion is riding a mad horse.
A person is a lion in his own cause.
A person never tells you anything until contradicted.
A person with two watches is never sure what time it is.
A person without a navel lives within all of us.
A person's got to know his limitations to avoid failure.
A pest: A friend in need.
A piece of churchyard fits everybody.
A pitcher that goes to a well too often is broken first.
A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs.
A poet reading his verse in public has a nasty habit.
A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck.
A priest is a man who is called father by everyone except his own children who are obliged to call him uncle.
A problem can be found for almost every solution.
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
A programmer and his mind are soon parted
A red nose can be the result of sunshine or moonshine.
A rich man's joke is always funny.
A rock ----->me<----- A hard place.
A roller
A rolling stone is better than a bird in the hand.
A rooster clucks defiance -- but a lawyer.
A school: Building with four walls and tomorrow inside.
A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
A short cut is the longest distance between two points.
A shot in the dark = searching for a needle in hay stack.
A shower is the halfway point between bed and world.
A simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.
A skoda lots a room in the err....glove compartment
A slap vs a slog is like a ribbon vs an obi.
A sleeping fox counts hens in his dreams.
A small object that is accidentally dropped will hide.
A smile is the sunshine that is a part of life.
A spoonful of sugar helps any medicine go down.
A spur in the head is worth two in the heel.
A statesman shears sheep, a politician skins them.
A stitch in time saves nine.
A tale never loses in the telling.
A teetotaller makes the worst drunkard.
A theatre director is a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act. 
A thick head can do as much damage as a hard heart.
A thief believes that everybody steals.
A thing of beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
A threesome, exiting!
A tidal wave of avalanche proportions.
A true diplomat struts sitting down.
A true friend is one soul in two bodies.
A true friend is the best possession.
A true subwoofer makes the concrete shake beneath you.
A truly great man never puts away the simplicity of a child.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
A typo. 
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper its written on.
A vote on the tally sheet is worth two in the box.
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
A well-written life is as rare as a well-spent one.
A wife lasts as long as a marriage, an ex-wife for ever.
A wise person sees as much as ought, not as much can.
A wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.
A woman must be a genius to create a good husband.
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
A woman's guess is more accurate than a man's certainty.
A word fitly spoken is like a beautiful apple of gold.
A worthless wise man always charms the rabble.
A writer thinks of critics as a tree feels about dogs.
A yawn is a silent shout.
A yer ago I kudnt spel progrmer now I are won.
A young physician fattens the churchyard.
A)bort R)etry G)et a gun and kill it.
AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
ASCII to a ASCII, DOS to DOS.
ASL has 15 signs for stupidity; 3 for smart.
ATTENTION ..............Elvis has left the echo.
Aaaaaaaah bet she does, I bet she does, say no more, say no more, knowwhatahmean, nudge nudge?
Aah, Bel Paese?
Aah, how about Cheddar?
Aaw, you're always complainin'!
Abandon hope, all ye who <ENTER> here.
Abandon the search for truth: settle on a good fantasy.
Abolish mornings.
Abort, Retry, Ignore, Valium?
Abort, Retry, Ignore, hold Requiem Mass?
Abort, Retry, Ignore, plan a Funeral Service?
Abort, Retry, Ignore, say Kaddish?
About 366 years why do you ask    
Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it inflames the great.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Absinthe makes the tart grow fonder.
Accidents will occur in the best regulated families.
Accordion: A bagpipe with pleats.
Accountants are good with figures
Accountants do it for profit
Accountants do it with balance
Accountants do it with double entry
Accountants work their assets off.
Accuracy:  The vice of being right.
Accy majors do it in numbers
Acne potion?
Acrophobes get down
Acting is the art of keeping the audience from coughing.
Acting without thinking is like shooting without aiming.
Actions are neither as good nor as evil as impulses.
Actions are usually right, but the reasons seldom are.
Actions from sanity are not necessarily from feeling.
Actions speak louder than words -- but not so often.
Actors do it in the limelight
Actors do it on camera
Actors do it on cue
Actors do it on stage
Actors play around
Actors pretend doing it
Actors should be treated like cattle.
Acupuncturists do it with a small prick
Ada programmers do it by committee
Ada programmers do it in packages
Adam ate the apple, and our teeth still ache.
Adam's Rib: The original bone of contention.
Adam's ale is the best brew.
Addresses are given to us yo conceal our whereabouts.
Admiration: Polite recognition of self-reflection.
Adult:  One old enough to know better.
Adventure is the champagne of life.
Adversity makes people wise but not rich.
Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it.
Advertisement: The most truthful part of a newspaper.
Advertisers use the "new, improved" method
Advertising majors do it with style
Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it most always like it the least.
Aerobics instructors do it for the heart
Aerobics instructors do it in step
Aerobics instructors do it until it hurts
Aerospace engineers do it with lift and thrust
After all is said and done, usually more is said than Whe 
After all, tomorrow is another day.
After four decimal places, nobody gives a damn.
After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
After two weeks of dieting, all I lost was two weeks.
After your death you will be what you were before your birth.
Against stupidity, the Gods themselves, contend in vain.
Age and treachery can always overcome youth and skill.
Age is never a bar to human immaturity.
Age is only important if you're a cheese.
Age needn't necessarily be a bar to immaturity.
Age will not be defied.
Agents do it undercover
Agreed.
Ah know what a bagel is, but what kind of dog is a lox?
Ah no, I'm not, you are.  
Ah so you've either been setting up some macros or else this is another of your artificial intelligence games!
Ah yes, well that's the pets' department, second floor.
Ah! It's been on order, sir, for two weeks.  
Ah! We have Camenbert, yes sir.
Ah, hungry!
Ah, thank you, my good man.
Ah, well, I'll have some of that!
Ah. 
Ai hackers do it artificially
Ai hackers do it breadth first
Ai hackers do it depth first
Ai hackers do it robotically
Ai hackers do it with robots
Ai hackers do it with rules
Ai hackers make a big production out of it
Ai people do it with a lis(ss)p
Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.
Air couriers do it all over the world in big jets {a}
Air traffic controllers do it by radar
Air traffic controllers do it in the dark
Air traffic controllers do it with their tongue
Air traffic controllers tell pilots how to do it
Airlifters penetrate further, linger longer, and drop a bigger load
Airline pilots do it at incredible heights
Alcohol enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.
Alcoholics do it bottles
Alexander portnoy does it alone
Algebraists do it with homomorphisms
Algol 68 programmers do it od
Algol programmers block it out
Algorithmic analysts do it with a combinatorial explosion
Alimony is having to say you're sorry once a month.
Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.
All Essex girls have stockings
All I ask is to prove that money can't make me happy.
All I have to do is imagine, and I am in dreamland.
All answers questioned here.
All are not saints that go to church.
All art is quite useless.
All barkers are not side show hawkers.
All cats are grey in the dark.
All charming people have something to conceal, usually their total dependence on the appreciation of others.
All clowns are masked, all personae flow from choices.
All colours will agree in the dark.
All for one; one for all, except me above all.
All generalisations are dangerous, even this one.
All good things must come to an end.
All great truths began as blasphemies.
All hope abandon ye who enter messages here.
All human life ends when you take a "dirt nap."
All humans are subject to decay.
All mathochists suffer from calculust
All men have their price.
All men think all men mortal but themselves.
All of the stars are to be found only up in the sky.
All our doings without charity are nothing worth.
All power corrupts, but we need electricity.
All probabilities are 50%. It happens or it doesn't.
All real programs contain errors.
All reality is aspect dependent.
All right then, a punch in the throat.
All right, I'll have the dead unjugged rabbit fish.
All right, don't practice your alliteration on me.
All right.  
All rivers run into the sea, yet the sea is not full.
All science is either physics or stamp collecting.
All sentences that seem true should be questioned.
All taglines are busy..One will be with you shortly.
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
All that glitters is not gold.
All the kookies are not in the jar.
All the tea in china: 356,000 metric tons.
All things are difficult before they are easy.
All things evolve, nothing is extinguished.
All those updates, and still imperfect.
All true wisdom is discovered in tag lines.
All wanting joy must share it, happiness was born a twin.
All warranties expire upon payment of this invoice.
All wiyht.  Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
All words are pegs on which to hang ideas.
All your future lies beneath your hat.
All's fair in love and war - What a contemptible lie.
All's well that ends well.
Alone in a bank at night is a pleasant experience.
Alpinists do it higher
Alright wanker wanna shag!
Altruism is the devil's calling card.
Alvin toffler will do it in the future
Always be smarter than the people who hire you.
Always do right: Gratify some and astonish the rest.
Always format alphanumerically, then preview graphically.
Always listen to experts. Hear the impossible then do it.
Always look on the bright side of life.
Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Always put your brain in gear before starting your mouth.
Always remember that a moving neutruno gathers no mass.
Always remember the past, but make waves when it matters.
Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.
Always remember, to copy a disk is not to Xerox it.
Always smile.  It makes people wonder what you're up to. 
Always store beer in a cool dark place.
Always take aim at the Tidy Bowl Man.
Always tell her she is beautiful, even if she isn't.
Always use tasteful words.  You may have to eat them.
Always use your enemy's hand to catch a snake.
Always yield to temptation, it may never return.
Am disc jockeys do it with modulated amplitude
Ambition destroys its possessor.
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff.
Ambulance drivers come quicker
Amen!
America finds it at waldenbooks
America is a dream to most of the world.
America is a tune.  But it must be sung in harmony.
America is the only country founded on a good ideal.
America was not discovered by Americans, shame on them.
America, land of opportunity for Japanese businessmen.
American politics: The walruses herding the oysters.
Americans do it patriotically
Among economists, the real world is often a special case.
An Englishman's home is his castle.
An Englishman's word is his bond.
An FSO Polonez
An Irish gentleman whose name eludes me for the moment.
An accommodating vice is better than an obstinate virtue.
An actor is a guy who, if you're not talking about him, ain't listening.
An actor without buck teeth can play the Easter Bunny.
An agreeable person: One who agrees with you.
An alcoholic is an enemy who drinks as much as you do.
An alcoholic: A person who drinks more than his physician 
An appeaser feeds a crocodile, hoping to be eaten last.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
An argument is a connected series of statement intended to establish a proposition.
An argument isn't just contradiction.
An army is a nation within a nation.
An army marches on its stomach.
An ass thinks one thing, his rider another.
An atheist has no invisible means of support.
An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.
An attacker must vanquish, a defender need only survive.
An authority is anyone who guessed right more than once.
An electrical engineer deals with current events.
An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.
An honest man's word is as good as his bond.
An honest politician: One who stays bought.
An idea is not responsible for fools who believe in it.
An idea is not responsible for people who believe in it.
An inch of dog is better than a mile of pedigree.
An injury is much sooner forgotten than an insult.
An institution is the lengthened shadow of one man.
An open mind is wonderful if matching mouth not included.
An optimist is a guy without much experience.
An ounce of example is worth a ton of advice.
An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
An over the hill astronaut requests a slower capsule.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Anaesthetists do it until you fall asleep
Analog hackers do it continuously
Anarchists do it revoltingly
Anarcho-syndicism is a way of preserving freedom!
Ancient custom has the force of law.
And I thought to myself, "a little fermented curd will do the trick," so, I curtailed my Walpoling activities, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles!
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
And Whittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.
And all the children are above average in our system.
And does your lovely daughter like Tizer?
And don't swear at me!
And he shall bear a nine-bladed sword.  
And is also in charge of the sheep dip.
And much less formal!
And now for something completely different.
And now, let the fun begin.
And on the seventh day, He exited from append mode.
And so to bed.
And that's a depressing prospect for an ambitious sheep.
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
And this is your brain over-easy with a side of bacon.
And this'll help things turn out for the best.
And well you may.  
And what happened to your corned beef rolls?
And what is the most popular cheese 'round hyah?
And when fate summons even the Tsar must obey.
And you don't bear him a grudge?
And you know Flipper, he lives in a world full of wonder.
And you know a lot about ignorance, I suppose?
Anesthetists do it painlessly
Angels can fly since they take themselves lightly.
Anger always drives the mouth faster than the mind.
Anger is one of the sinews of the soul.
Anger supplies the arms.
Anglers do it with worms
Angling: The name given to fishing by non-fishermen.
Animal attraction: here for hunger or for love.
Animal breeders do it with frequency and variation
Animators do it 24 times a second {b}
Announcers broadcast
Another day, another challenge.
Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
Ansi does it in the standard way
Anthropologists do it with culture
Antonym:  The opposite of the word you're searching for.
Any Anti-Imperialist group like ours must reflect such a divergence of interests within its power-base.
Any IC protected by a fast acting fuse protects the fuse.
Any Norwegian Jarlsburg, per chance.
Any certainty is a delusion.
Any colour, so long as it's black.
Any day can be the beginning of a new year.
Any fool can tell the truth, it takes sense to lie well.
Any given program,  when running correctly, is obsolete.
Any man who can see through women is sure missing a lot.
Any port in a storm.
Any priest or shaman is guilty until proven innocent.
Any questions?
Any socialism involves more slavery than democracy.
Any sufficiently advanced bug will become a feature.
Any sufficiently advanced magic looks like technology.
Anybody can be good in the country.
Anybody can say they'll do something, few actualize it.
Anybody can win, unless there is a second entry.
Anybody who hates children and dogs can't be all bad.
Anyone can hate. It costs to love.
Anyone can walk on water, just know where the rocks are.
Anyone who has been to an English public school will feel comparatively at home in prison.
Anything I make can become a cause for my sorrow.
Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
Anything good is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.
Anything not a constant, is not a commandment from God.
Anything simple is stated in the most complicated manner.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken can be sung.
Anything worth doing, is worth doing for a profit.
Anytime things go better, you have overlooked something.
Anyway, when I get my membership card and blazer badge back from the League of Agnostics, I shall urge the executive to lodge a protest against that religious racket! 
Anywhere?
Apl programmers are functional
Apl programmers do it backwards
Apl programmers do it in a line
Apl programmers do it with style
Apologists do it orally
Apology is only egotism wrong side out.
Appearances are deceptive.
Applied emotion is the key to success with happiness.
April 16th: Count your blessings - nothing else is left.
Archaeologists will date any old thing.
Archeologists do it with mummies
Archeologists like it old
Archers use longer shafts
Architects are responsible for the tallest erections
Architects do it late
Architects have great plans
Architectural historians can tell you who put it up, how big it was -
Architecture is the art of how to waste space.
Architecture majors stay up all night
Are dog biscuits made from Collie Flour?
Are those cookies made with real Girl Scouts?
Are those skid marks on the floor, or your underwear?
Are we supposed to be having fun yet?
Are you a Klingon, or is that a turtle on your head?
Are you a Poofter?
Are you a good witch, or are you a bad witch?
Are you a real person or some kind of perverted AI prog?
Are you a recording?
Are you drunk?
Are you going to do it?
Are you hungry?
Are you in this town
Are you quite sure?
Are you real? If so then type abc
Are you waiting for your prey?
Are you written in C?
Argument is an intellectual process.  Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle, and Hobbes was fond of his Dram.
Arlo guthrie does it on his motorcycle
Armours guns penetrate further
Army food: The spoils of war.
Arsonist do it with fire
Art does not reproduce the visible; it makes visible.
Art for art's sake is a philosophy of the well-fed.
Art for art's sake.
Art historians can tell you who did it, where they did it, what they used and -
Art is I; Science is We.
Art is a jealous mistress.
Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.
Art is either plagiarism or revolution.
Art is vision not expression.
Art thou an artist, or art thou art?
Artificial Intelligence: The other guy's opinion.
Artillerymen do it with a burst
Artistic ventures highlighted.  Rob a museum.
Artists are exhibitionists
Artists do it by design
Artists do it in the buff
Artists do it with creativity
Artists do it with emotion
Artists do it with flair
As I learn, I know about more things I don't yet know.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
As I said last week, I'll be done tomorrow. 
As I was going up a stair, I met a man who wasn't there.
As I was saying, I hate it when people don't finish their
As a child I was a rabbit
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
As a matter of fact she's very fond of cricket.
As dull as ditch water.
As easy as 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841.
As for me, all I know is that I know nothing.
As lacking in privacy as a goldfish.
As long as I live, I shall be, myself, no other, just me.
As long as it's not the same bed.
As long as we remain unsure, we are alive.
As soon as man is born he begins to die.
As the horrendous black beast lunged forward, escape for Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless.
Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper. 
Ask no questions and hear no lies.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls the answer can be deadly.
Asking PAC BELL for advice is like asking IRS tax advice.
Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.
Assassination has never changed the history of the world.
Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.
Assassins do it from behind
Assembler programmers do it one-to-one
Assembly line workers do it over and over
Assembly line workers do it over and over.
Assumption #1: Dan Quayle is smarter than broccoli.
Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.
Astronauts do it in orbit
Astronauts do it on the moon
Astronauts do it while spaced out
Astronomers can't do it with the lights on
Astronomers do it all night
Astronomers do it from light-years away
Astronomers do it in the dark
Astronomers do it only at night
Astronomers do it under the stars
Astronomers do it whenever they can find a hole in the clouds
Astronomers do it while gazing at uranus
Astronomers do it with all the stars
Astronomers do it with big bang
Astronomers do it with heavenly bodies
Astronomers do it with long tubes
Astronomers do it with stars
Astronomers do it with their telescopes
Astronomers do it with uranus
Astronomy: The anatomy and physiology of our universe.
Astrophysicans try to cure sick stars.
Astrophysicists do it with a big bang
Astrophysicists do it with a big bang
At 19, everything is possible; tomorrow looks friendly.
At all ages you are certain you still have another year.
At least I can use his code as a bad example.
At times we must settle for inferior  quality time.
At yuletide, astronauts look for the missile toe.
At&t does it in long lines
Attack is the best form of defence.
Attack long worms from the rear - that is so much safer.
Attention K-Mart shoppers, today the special is...
Attorneys make better motions
Audiologists do it aurally
Auditors like to examine figures
Aunt Em. Hate Kansas. Hate you. Took dog. Dorothy.
Australians do it down under
Authors do it by rote
Auto makers do it with optional equipment
Auto makers do it with standard equipment
Auto mechanics do it under hoods, using oil and grease
Autobiography: Unrivalled telling truth about others.
Avant-Garde Narrow: a typeface for the broad-minded.
Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance.
Avoid Mailmen...............They Are Carriers.
Avoid The Noid.
Avoid fighting with the ugly, they have nothing to lose.
Avoid junk mail, get an unlisted ZIP code.
Avoid reality at all costs.
Away, Away, vile etessence!
Aww, spit!
BACK OFF!
BBS: a method to triple your phone bill.
BREAKFAST.COM halted... cereal port not responding!
BUSH.SYS corrupted, recommend optimizing politics.
Babies do it in their pants
Babysitters charge by the hour
Bach did it with the organ
Bach is like a jetstream -if you can get on it, you soar!
Bachelor's wives and spinster's children: always perfect.
Bachelor: A guy who has cheated a woman out of a divorce.
Bachelor: Plays the field until the field comes in.
Bachelorhood should be taxed, such happiness is valuable.
Back up my hard drive? I can't find the reverse switch.
Back when I was a boy, we carved our own ICs out of wood.
Backup not found: Abort, Retry, Massive heart failure?
Backups?  We don' *NEED* no steenking baX%^~,VbKx.
Bad command or file name.  Go stand in the corner.
Bad news travels fast.
Bad officials: elected by good citizens who fail to vote.
Bad spellers of the world untie.
Bailiffs always come to order
Bakers do it for the dough
Bakers knead it daily
Bakers let it rise
Ballerinas do it en point
Ballet dancers do it on tip-toe
Ballet dancers do it with toes
Ballshit
Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father; hairy blighter, dicky-birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the Bertie.
Banana pickers do it in bunches
Bananas do it in bunches
Band members do it all night
Band members do it in a parade
Band members do it in front of 100,000 people
Band members do it in public
Band members do it in sectionals
Band members do it on the football field
Band members play all night
Banging head against wall mode - off.
Banjo players pluck with a stiff pick
Bank Rule: To get a loan, first prove you don't need it.
Bank error in your favor.  Collect $200.
Bankers do it for money, but there is a penalty for early withdrawal
Bankers do it with interest, but pay for early withdrawl
Bankers have bigger assets
Bankers like big deposits
Baptism: A kind of damp bar mitzvah.
Baptists do it under water
Barbarians do it with anything
Barbers do it and end up with soaping hair
Barbers do it with brylcreem
Barbers do it with shear pleasure
Barking dogs seldom bite.
Barometer: Indicates what kind of weather we are having.
Baroque: When you are out of Monet.
Bartenders do it on the rocks
Baseball players do it for a lot of money
Baseball players do it head first
Baseball players do it in series
Baseball players do it in teams
Baseball players do it with their bats
Baseball players hit more home runs
Baseball players make it to first base
Basic programmers do it all over the place
Basic programmers goto it
Basketball players score more often
Bass clarinets go deep
Bass players just pluck at
Bass players just pluck at it
Bassists do it with their fingers
Bastard toadflax: not the result nearsighted horny toads.
Bathroom scale: Something you stand on and swear at.
Batman does it with robin
Batteries not included.
Bayseians probably do it
Be Alert -- what the world needs is more LERTS.
Be a friend to the earth and it will be a friend to you.
Be a good animal, true to your animal instincts.
Be as good at receiving as you are at giving.
Be careful when playing under the anvil tree.
Be careful when slinging mud, you might lose ground.
Be consistent - but don't do it all the time.
Be flexible, some things just take time.
Be mischievous and creative, if they fit you.
Be nice on your way up you'll meet again on the way down.
Be reasonable ... Let's do it my way.
Be right & fear no man.  Don't write & fear no woman.
Be self-reliant and your success is assured.
Be smart as a cat: Make a friend of your enemy's enemy.
Be sure to use DEVICE=EXXON to screw up your environment.
Be suspicious of all non-native-born Esperanto speakers.
Be vewy, vewy quite....I'm hunting tagwines.
Beam me up Scotty.... I swallowed my Phaser.
Beam me up, Scotty!  It ate my phaser.
Beans for dinner last night huh?
Beat's me!!! I never read the documentation.
Beauty faded has no second spring.
Beauty is altogether in the eye of the beholder.
Beauty is often in the thighs of the beholder.
Beauty is only skin deep.
Beauty is potent, but money is omnipotent.
Beauty seldom recommends one woman to another.
Because I care for all gods creatures
Because it does worry some people - I don't know why - but they are a little sensitive so I take the precaution of asking on these occasions.
Because it is too much hassle
Bedfellows make strange politicians.
Beekeepers like to eat their honey
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
Beep. Invalid Input.  I take only cash.
Beer
Beer and women: Two of God's best gifts to mankind.
Beer brewers do it with more hops
Beer drinkers get more head
Beethoven did it apassionately
Beethoven was the first to do it with a full orchestra
Before advising be yourself, reassess his character.
Before we start, though, I'd like to ask the padre for a prayer.
Behind an able man, there are always other able men.
Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
Behind every successful man stands a surprised MIL.
Being a "nice guy" doesn't cost, but it generally pays.
Being able to say NO is the root to reclaiming your life.
Being alive: Concentrating on goals, not limitations.
Being old fashioned is not necessarily good or better.
Being punctual makes people think you have nothing to do.
Believe it or not.
Bell labs programmers do it with unix
Bell-ringers pull it themselves
Bendover
Beneath every stone sleeps a scorpion.
Benign: What you are after you be eight.
Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace!  
Best diet: Eat as much as you want, but don't swallow it.
Best thing about the future: it comes one day at a time.
Best way to appreciate a job: imagine yourself without it 
Best way to keep your friends: don't give them away.
Beta testers do it looking for mistakes
Better
Better a thousand enemies outside the house than one inside it.
Better be a fool than a knave.
Better be envied than pitted.
Better be safe than sorry.
Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian.
Better the shoulder to the wheel than the back to the A I 
Better three hours too soon than a minute too late.
Better to marry a man who loves you than one you love.
Better to understand little than misunderstand a lot.
Beulah, peel me a grape.
Beware of friends who are false and deceitful.
Beware of geeks bearing GIFs!
Beware of hip and rum drivers.
Beware of little expenses. A small leak can sink a ship.
Beware of low-flying butterflies.
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
Beware of the Quantum Ducks -- QUARK  QUARK  QUARK.
Beware of the dog.
Beware of the opinion of someone without any facts.
Beware of true believers you may be duped by a false god.
Beware that you do not lose the substance by grasping at the shadow.
Beware when God lets loose a thinker on this planet.
Beware! This is a dangerous product, manuals required.
Beware. I'm armed and have suffered from PMS all my life.
Bfn
Bibble
Bicyclists do it off the road
Bicyclists do it with 10 speeds
Big Brother is watching.
Big brother is watching you.
Bigamist: An Italian fog.
Bigamist: One who makes the same mistake twice.
Bigamy: One wife too many.  Monogamy: Same idea...
Bikers do it on wheels
Binary Choir = 1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1.
Biochemists wear designer genes.
Bioengineers wear designer genes.
Biography should be written by an acute enemy.
Biography: One of the terrors of death.
Biological love =/= chemical love.
Biologists do it with clones
Birders do it in the bush
Birds are trapped by their feet, people by their tongues.
Birds do it, bees do it, even chimpanzees do it
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date.
Bit forward aren't you?
Bitch
Bits make bytes, but nibbles turn me on.
Black holes were created when God divided by zero.
Blame Murphy when you dig at the wrong end of a rainbow.
Blaming others can become a satisfying way of life.
Bless the peacemakers their work will never end.
Blessed are the censors; they shall inhibit the earth.
Blessed are the meek, for they make great scapegoats.
Blessed are the pessimists, for they hath made backups.
Blessed are the pessimists, for they have made backups.
Blessed are the young, let them inherit the national debt.
Blessed is he expecting nothing, and never disappointed.
Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
Blessed our young they will inherit our national debt.
Blessings never come in pairs; misfortunes never alone.
Blimey, it's hot in here, Bruce.
Blond Mating Call:  Oh, I'm so drunk [giggle].
Blondes do it with a thermos {c}
Blood is thicker than water, and much more tastier.
Blood is thicker than water.
Blow your mind, smoke gunpowder.
Bo jackson knows doing it
Boardheads do it with stiff masts
Bodybuilders do it with muscle
Bodybuilders pump it up
Boldly start in reverse, 'cause that's the genealogy way.
Bollocks are you.
Bomb #20, you're out of the bomb bay again.
Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people.
Boobs breasts melons
Bookkeepers are well balanced
Bookkeepers do it for the record
Bookkeepers do it with double entry
Books and friends should be few but good.
Bookworms only read about it
Boot & ye shall see. Replace & all will be made clear.
Bor-ing!
Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Bored out of me brains first day of the new year and im talking to a bloody robot
Boredom.
Boring!
Born crying, live complaining, die disappointed.
Born free and taxed to death.
Borrowed garments never fit well.
Boss spelled backwards is "double SOB".
Bosses delegate the task to others
Both of his feet are firmly planted in the air.
Bouncers have more ejections
Bowlers do it in the alley
Bowlers have bigger balls
Boxers do it with fists
Boy scouts do it in the woods
Boy:  A noise with dirt on it.
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
Brain damage?  No thanks, I already have some.
Brain disfunction detected....
Brain that is
Brain, like muscle, works better if regularly exercised.
Brain:  The apparatus with which we think that we think.
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
Brave Sir Robin, you go.
Bread is the staff of life.
Breast implant silicon should not influence brains.
Breastsrokers have better hip action
Bres Bleu
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
Brian , you are not listening.
Brian does it conservatively
Brian heads the conservative party
Bricklayers lay all day
Bride: Woman with fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Bridge players do it with finesse
Bridge players don't need a partner, if they have a good hand
Bridge players try to get a rubber
Brie 
Bring the whole family...but leave the kids at home.
British management doesn't seem to understand the importance of the human factor.
Bruce here teaches classical philosophy.
Bruce here teaches logical positivism. 
Bruce there teaches Haegelian philosophy.
Bruce.
Bruson?
Bubble, Bubble..Am I too late to jump the ship ?
Buddhists imagine doing it
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
Bug free, cheap, on time, works. Pick two. 
Bugger off anyway you smell of poo
Bugger!
Bugs are sons of glitches.
Build a vast arena, then put a half-vast team therein.
Building inspectors do it under the table
Bumper sticker: Honk if you're illiterate.
Bureaucracy: That place always in need of a laxative.
Bureaucracy: a method for transforming energy into solid waste.
Bureaucrat, n.: A person who cuts red tape sideways.
Burglars do it without protection
Bus drivers come early and pull out on time
Bus drivers do it in transit
Businessmen screw you the best they can
Busy Day?
Busy? I just spent four hours burying the cat.
But God told me to use a GOTO.
But I love money.
But once you are real, you can't become unreal again.
But that's st. marks!
But the thing was, Ricky and I had just had a blow dry and rinse
But there is one small problem.
But they were wrapped in foil!
But what if I'm a figment of MY imagination?
But you Thaid it wath a PITH helmet!
But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.
But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'.
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer, Gie her a haggis.
Butchers have better meat
Buy a 486-33 so you can reboot faster.
By by
By following the good, you learn to be good.
By the time I have money to burn, my fire will be out.
By the way, you're soaking in it.
By trying we can learn to endure another's adversity.
Bye
C program run... Run, program, run...  PLEASE...
C programmers continue it
C programmers switch and then break it
C programmers switch often
C'est la vie.
C++ programmers do it with class
C++ programmers do it with private members and public objects
C++ programmers do it with their friends, in private
C:\BELFRY is where I keep my .BAT files.
CCITT - Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today
COFFEE.COM not found: A)dd more, R)eheat F)reak out.
CPU time flies when you're having fun.
Cadavers do it six feet under 
Cadavers do it stiffly
Cadavers do it under wraps
Cadavers do it with their eyes closed
Calculus majors do it in increments
Calculus students do it by parts
California is a fine place to live, if you are an orange.
California raisins murdered! Cereal killer suspected.
Californians do it laid back
Call me anything you like
Call out the vice squad.  Someone's mounting a disk drive 
Call the church police!
Call waiting, great if you have two friends.
Camels have wet dreams too.
Camenbert, perhaps?
Campers do it in a tent
Can I call you "sugar plum"?
Can I feel your breasts
Can I fuck ya?
Can I go back to bed now?
Can I have another totally random response please? 
Can I kiss yer tits love?
Can I kiss you now, babe?
Can I lick your cunt
Can I like your toes?
Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?
Can a blue man sing the whites?
Can bankers count? Eight windows and only four tellers?
Can you finish now?
Can you make me a spell?
Can you not hold a flowing conversation
Can you prove it didn't happen?
Can you see it Joker?  It's written all over my face.
Can't see it? It's there.  I'm using stealth technology.
Can't you just get a life?
Canadians do it bilingually
Canadians do it in english and french
Capt'n!  The spellchecker kinna take this abuse!
Car customisers do it with a hot rod
Car mechanics jack it
Carasvemos, corazones no sabemos.
Cardiologists do it halfheartedly
Cardiologists do it lightheartedly
Careful planning is the key to safe and swift travel.
Carelessness does more harm than a want of knowledge.
Carpenters do it tongue-in-groove
Carpenters hammer it harder
Carpenters nail harder
Carpet fitters do it on their knees
Carpet layers do it on the floor
Carrier de lest
Cartoonists do it with just a few good strokes
Case Ness?
Cash, a poor person's credit card.
Catastrophes to others are everyday events to you.
Catholics do it a lot
Catholics talk about it afterwards
Cats are like furry dilettanti, or the reverse?
Cats are smarter than dogs.  They won't pull sleds.
Cats teach that not everything in nature has a function.
Cats, proof that eating and sleeping isn't all bad.
Caution! - Bug squashing in progress.
Caution: Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
Cavaliers do it mounted
Cavers do it in the mud
Cbers do it on the air
Ceci n'est pas un chapeau.
Cedant arma togae.
Celebrate Hannibal Day.  Take an elephant to lunch.
Celebrate the first day you open the windows.
Celery farmers play the stalk market.
Celery raw develops a jaw. But stewed, is quietly chewed.
Celibacy isn't hereditary. Your children force it on you.
Cellists give better hand jobs
Cemetery: (n); A marble orchard you can take for granite.
Certainly sir, I'll get someone to help you.
Certainly, sir.  
Certainly.... but only if I can eat rabid elephants
Certum est quia impossibile est.
Cesarean Section: A historic district in Rome.
Challenge is the fuel that drives the winner.
Chance makes our parents, but choice makes our friends.
Change is inevitable ... except from vending machines. 
Character is much easier kept than recovered.
Charity begins at home, and mostly ends where it begins.
Charity begins at home.
Charles does it royally
Chaste makes waste.
Chastity Belt is here. Do you have the right key?
Chastity is it's own punishment.
Check the dilithium crystals, we've got a cross-echo.
Cheerleaders do it enthusiastically
Cheerleaders do it with more enthusiasm
Chefs do it for dessert
Chefs do it in the kitchen
Chefs do it with spice
Chemical engineers do it in packed beds
Chemical engineers do it under a fume hood
Chemists do it in an excited state
Chemists do it in test tubes
Chemists do it in the fume hood
Chemists do it periodically on table
Chemists do it reactively
Chemists like to experiment
Cheshire?
Chess players check their mates
Chess players do it in their minds
Chess players do it with knights/kings/queens/bishops/mates
Chess players make better mates
Chess players mate better
Chicken 
Chicken Little was right.
Chiefs do it with tradition
Childish Game: One at which your spouse beats you.
Children have more need of models than of critics.
Children have no use for psychology.
Children: the most common sexually transmitted disease.
Chiropractors do it by manipulation
Chiropractors do it, but they x-ray it first
Choir boys do it unaccompanied
Choose heaven for climate, hell for society.
Choose your friends, allow your enemies to choose you.
Christ died for our sins, so let's not disappoint him.
Christians do it with amazing grac
Circuit designers have a very low rise time
Circuit designers offer vlsi {d}
Cities, like cats, will reveal themselves at night.
City planners do it with their eyes shut
City street repairmen do it with three supervisors watching
Civil engineers build large erections with rigid members
Civil engineers do it by reinforcing it
Civil engineers do it in the dirt
Civil engineers do it in the soil {e}
Civil engineers do it with an erection
Civil engineers do it with their bridges (britches) up
Civil engineers don't just do it, they give a dam
Civil engineers have been doing it as long as there has been dirt and -
Civil servants are neither civil nor servile.
Civility costs nothing.
Civilization is a movement, it is a voyage not a harbor.
Civilized people need love for full sexual satisfaction.
Claiming mental bankruptcy is always an easy option.
Clarinets do it by sucking and blowing
Classified tagline==Please enter password._
Clean mind, clean body:  Take your pick.
Clean the crap out from between your toes!
Cleanliness is next to clean-limbed, in the dictionary.
Clerics do it with their gods
Clever father, clever daughter; clever mother, clever son 
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
Climbers do it in harnesses
Climbers do it on rope
Climbers do it up thin cracks
Climbers do it with dangling nuts {f}
Climbers do it with their friends
Climbers do it with their hands
Climbing my family tree was fun, until the nuts appeared.
Clock makers do it mechanically
Close your eyes and press escape three times.
Closed eyes are not always sleeping.
Clowns do it for laughs
Cluster analysts do it in groups
Coaches whistle while they work
Cobol hackers do it by committee
Cobol programmers do it very slow
Cobol programmers do it with bugs
Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know - I've been using it for years.
Cockroaches have done it for millions of years, without apparent ill-effects
Cocktail waitresses serve highballs
Cogito ergo spud!  (I think, therefore I yam).
Cogito, ergo Hormel - I think, therefore I Spam.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Colic: a sheepdog that is part collie.
Collector: Person few care to see but ask to call again.
Collectors do it in sets
College: Guarantee the quality of the product or return.
Colonel sanders does it, and then licks his fingers
Colonel sanders does it, then licks his fingers
Come again?
Come back in 10 years when you're all grown up!
Come on darlin
Come on then I want an argument?
Come on, you pansy!
Come over here then 
Comedians do it for laughs
Comedy is the art of making people laugh without puking.
Commando's do it for the insertion
Comment vous sentez-vous aujourdn'hui?
Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Commodities traders do it in the pits
Common politics: Holding an office of trust for profit.
Common sense isn't.
Communication.. without it, everyone's a mushroom.
Communications engineers do it 'til it hertz
Communicators do it long distance
Communicators talk about it
Communism will work when love, not greed, inspires it.
Communists do it without class
Communists do it without class.
Complexity freaks do it with minimum space
Complexity isn't the answer - it's the problem.
Composers do it by numbers
Composers do it with a quill and a staff
Composers do it with entire orchestras
Composers leave it unfinished
Computer engineers do it with minimum delay
Computer game players just can't stop
Computer nerds just simulate it
Computer operators do it upon mount requests
Computer operators get the most out of their software
Computer operators peek before they poke
Computer programmers do it bit by bit
Computer programmers do it interactively
Computer programmers do it logically
Computer science students do it with hard drives
Computer scientists do it bit by bit
Computer scientists do it on command
Computer scientists simulate doing it
Computer: a device designed to drive human beings insane.
Computers also eliminate spare time.
Computers are not intelligent.  They only think they are.
Computers are unreliable, but humans are more unreliable.
Computers can never replace human stupidity.
Computers do it in ascii, except ibm's which use ebcdic
Computers don't make mistakes, but foolish people do.
Condense soup, not books.
Conductors do it rhythmically
Conductors do it with the orchestras
Conductors wave it up and down
Confectioners do it sweetly
Confirmation of the past is often the greatest surprise.
Confucius say: Man with hand in pocket is having a ball.
Confucius say: Show-off always shown up in showdown.
Congenital: Adjective synonymous to "friendly."
Congregationalists do it in groups
Congress finds more profit in supporting tobacco than you
Congressmen do it in the house
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
Conscience: the inner voice warning somebody is looking.
Conserve water.  Ban salted peanuts.
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
Constants aren't; variables don't.
Construction workers do it higher
Construction workers lay a better foundation
Consult with a real expert - Call your mother.
Consultants tell others how to do it
Contains no user-serviceable parts.
Contents may settle during shipping.
Contrabass clarinets go deeper
Contraceptives: to be used on all conceivable occasions.
Converse with any plankton lately?
Cooks do it with grease and a lot of heat
Cooks do it with oil, sugar and salt
Cool
Copier repairmen do it with duplicity
Cops do it arrestingly
Cops do it at gun-point
Cops do it by the book
Cops do it with cuffs
Cops do it with electric rods
Cops do it with nightsticks
Cops have bigger guns
Corruption. The most infallible symptom of liberty.
Cos you don't listen to what I say
Cosmologists do it with a bang
Could be.
Could it work?
Couldn't go out for a couple of days.
Couldn't have sid it better myself.
Courage is your greatest present need.
Cow's breath attracts mosquitoes and tsetse flies!
Coward:  One who in thinks with his legs.
Cowards can never be moral.
Cowboys handle anything horny
Cowgirls like to ride bareback
Cows do it in leather
Crane operators have swinging balls
Credit managers always collect
Creditors have much better memories than debtors.
Cricket is more than a game it's an institution.
Cricket requires one to assume such indecent postures.
Criminal: The poor guy who gets caught.
Cross ball points with coat hangers so they multiply.
Cross-word players do it crossly
Crosscountry runners do it in open fields
Cryonicists stay stiff longer
Cryptographers do it secretly
Cs111 students do it in binary
Cs111 students do it with interspersed comments
Cs111 students do it with orgs
Cuckoos do it by proxy
Curiosity killed the cat.
Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
Curly; " Oooh, short wave?"  Moe: "No, permanent."
Curmudgeons are cantankerous and churlish.
Curses are like young chickens, they always come home to roost.
Custom is the law of fools.
Cut down a tree with a herring?  
Cut me another
Cyber sex?
Cyberspace forever and ever and ever.
Cynic: Through rose-colored glasses with a jaundiced eye.
Cynicism is intellectual dandyism.
Czech sheep's milk,
DANGER DANGER Computer store ahead...hide wallet.
DANGER. Human at keyboard.
DEFINE: De ting you get for breaking de law.
DEL *.*     Does WHAT?
DO I need a modem for each phone line?
DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHAT A 'cAPS lOCK' KEY IS?
Dachshund: Half a dog high by a dog and a half long.
Daddy, what does 'read error in FAT' mean?"
Daddy.  What does Formatting Drive C: mean?
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true.
Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a tagline writer.
Damn
Damn it, Jim!  I'm a doctor, not a tagline writer.
Damn your "Once more for old times sake."
Damn your cheese tartlet!
Dan Quayle asks: "Are Cheerios are bagel or donut seeds?"
Dan Quayle has all the charisma of a speed bump.
Dan Quayle: the EDLIN of Vice-Presidents.
Dan quayle does it in the dark
Dancers do it in leaps and bounds
Dancers do it on the floor
Dancers do it to music
Dancers do it with grace
Dancers do it with their high heels on
Dances With Wolves - the theme of our senior prom.
Dancing with a grass widow brings on hay fever.
Dancing: A vertical manifestation of a horizontal desire.
Danish Bimbo,
Danish Brew?
Dare to dream - no one can take that away from you.
Dark horses do it come-from-behind
Data processors do it in batches
Data, data everywhere, and not a byte to eat.
David Duke: He climbs into bed and he's in uniform.
David Duke: Same old sheet.
David Duke: Sheet for brains.
David Hume could out-consume Schopenhauer and Hegel.
Dawn crept across the lawn, searching for her car keys.
Dawn: the time when men of reason go to bed.
Day of inquiry.  You will be subpoenaed.
Day-by-day a day goes by.
Db people do it with persistence
De los sos ojos tan fuertemientre lorando.
Dead men tell no tales.
Deadheads do it with jerry
Death defies the doctor.
Death is certain, life isn't.
Death is the great leveller.
Debators do it in their briefs
Decide now!!
Deejays can turn your dial
Deep-sea divers do it under extreme pressure
Deer hunters will do anything for a buck
Defeat even explained well stinks.
Defeat is worse than death since you have to live with it.
Deff cunt
Definitely how about you
Del dicho al hecho hay gran trecho.
Deliberation is the work of many men. Action, of one alone.
Delivery men do it at the rear entrance
Democracy means government by the uneducated, while aristocracy means government by the badly educated.
Democracy, the worst government except for all the others.
Democratic presidential candidates do it and make you pay for it later
Democratic presidential candidates do it underwater
Democratic presidential candidates do it until they can't remember
Demolitions experts do it till they explode
Demonstraters do it on the street
Dental hygenists do it till it hurts
Dentists do it in your mouth
Dentists do it orally
Dentists do it prophylactically
Dentists do it with drills and on chairs
Dentists do it with filling
Deprogrammers do it with sects
Dermatologists give rash judgments.
Describe yourself
Desecrate, decimate, rah. rah. rah.
Desk: A very large wastebasket with drawers.
Destiny is not a matter of chance but a matter of choice.
Detectives do it under cover
Detour: The roughest distance between two points.
Detroit is Cleveland without the glitter.
Devoted to the study of cat bathing as a martial art.
Dew is the tears which the stars weep.
Did I 'it it?
Did my ancestors inbreed? My genes seem tight.
Did you accept
Did you ever stop to think, and then forget to restart?
Did you hear about the new deli that opened in India??
Did you know that clones never use mirrors?
Did you know that no-one ever reads these things?
Did you really expect mere proof to sway my opinion?
Did you say "shrubberies"?
Did you spill my pint
Dieticians eat better
Difficult? I wish it had been impossible!
Digital circuits are made from analog parts.
Digital hackers do it off and on
Dilate: What happens when you live too long.
Dime bar
Dime de lo que blasonas, y te dire de lo quwe careces.
Diode: What happens to people who don't die young.
Dios tarda pero no olvida.
Diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means.
Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.
Diplomacy: The patriotic lying for one's country.
Diplomacy: the delicate weapon of the civilized warrior.
Direct mailers get it in the sack
Discharge yourself
Disco is to music what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
Discover (tm) gives you cash back
Discoveries are often made by not following instructions.
Disease is the retribution of an outraged nature.
Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
Dispatchers do it with frequency
Ditch diggers do it in a damp hole
Ditch diggers do it in the dirt
Divers do it deeper
Divers do it for a score
Divers do it in three positions {g}
Divers do it underwater
Divers do it with a buddy
Divers do it with a twist
Djs do it on request
Djs do it on the air
Do I even WANT ancestors? Some I wish I could lose.
Do I need to?
Do I take it that you are proposing to slaughter our tenants?
Do MILs drink goat milk?  They're always butting in.
Do artificial plants need artificial water?
Do blondes prefer gentlemen?
Do cellular phones cause reckless dialing?
Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?
Do health nuts die of nothing?
Do not adjust your set.  We are in control.
Do not attempt to traverse a chasm in two leaps .
Do not curse the darkness, check your warranty.
Do not cut along this line ------------------------------ 
Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.
Do not remove this tag under penalty of death.
Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.
Do not wait for an echo when you drop a rose petal.
Do something unusual today.  Pay a bill.
Do that 
Do these rantings get saved in a file so the rest of the great unwashed on this BBS can chuckle afterwards?
Do unto others, then split.
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Do well and you will have no need for ancestors.
Do well, hear of it never. Do ill, hear of it forever.
Do what comes naturally now. Throw a tantrum.
Do what?
Do witches run spell checkers?
Do ya fancy a shag then.
Do ya wanna drink darlin?
Do you
Do you fancy a shag lover?
Do you feel lucky?
Do you have a copy of "Thirty Days in the Samarkind Desert with the Duchess of Kent" by A. E. J. Eliott, O.B.E.?
Do you have a files list?
Do you have a lot of intercourse with men
Do you have change?
Do you know that in our laboratories we have produced a cheese sandwich that can withstand an impact of 4,000 lbs per square inch?
Do you know where your ancestors were and what they did?
Do you like Tizer?
Do you like champagne?
Do you like cunnilingus then
Do you like it doggie style?
Do you like me for my brain, or my BAUD?
Do you like what I say
Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
Do you waaaaant...do you waaaaaant...to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?
Do you wanna come home with me tonight, love?
Do you wanna fuck me or not?
Do you wanna kiss me?
Do you want a drink love?
Do you want one, a drink that is?
Do you want to see my dick
Do your duty and leave the rest to the gods.
Do your responses actually bear any relation to mine
Docs? Last time I went, I got nasty tasting medicine.
Doctors do it in the or
Doctors do it with injection
Doctors do it with patience
Doctors do it with pills
Doctors prescribe it
Doctors take two aspirin and do it in the morning
Doctrine is the skin of truth set up and stuffed.
Documentation:  The last resort.
Does LIFO-suction work on a FAT table?
Does anyone really read these stupid taglines?
Does history record any case where a majority was right?
Does it really matter which cola I drink?
Does the Enterprise printer use a Queue Continuum?
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Doesn't look like his mother.
Dogmatism: Puppyism come to its full growth.
Doin' what?
Doing is better than saying.
Dollars cannot buy yesterday.
Dominos does it in 30 minutes or less
Don't Panic. Just push the Reset button.
Don't be a snob. Never lie when truth is more profitable.
Don't be fazed by new fashions in anything.
Don't be silly chumps.
Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
Don't blame Congress. With $600 Billion frugality leaves.
Don't blame me for that!
Don't call me "sweetie"!
Don't count your chickens before they are hatched.
Don't cross the bridge till you get to it.
Don't cut off your nose to spite your face.
Don't do it with a banker; most of them are tellers
Don't drink. You might shoot at tax collectors and miss.
Don't feed the bats tonight.
Don't find faults, discovery remedies.
Don't follow this message too closely!
Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
Don't give up the ship. Give up the captain.
Don't go surfing in South Dakota for a while.
Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.
Don't hit me!!  I'm in the Twilight Zone!!!
Don't keep doing things that can't work.
Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today.
Don't knock President Fillmore he kept us out of VietNam.
Don't know
Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
Don't need a new religion, haven't used up the old one.
Don't pick your nose.   
Don't play "stupid" with me... I'm better at it.
Don't play stupid with me....I'm better at that also.
Don't press the keys so damned hard!
Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Don't question authority; it doesn't know either. 
Don't regulate banks.  Help BCCI and Charlie Keating.
Don't reply to inappropriate messages, left by SysOp.
Don't say that word!
Don't sell yourself short, your wisdom is worth 2 cents.
Don't shoot! I'm only the Casio player.
Don't spoil the ship for a ha'porth of tar.
Don't steal.....Politicians hate competition.
Don't store garlic near other victuals.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Don't talk to me as though I were a side-dish you hadn't ordered.
Don't teach your grandmother to suck eggs.
Don't tell me you queer too? It seems most of you BBS ops are.
Don't think too far beyond your next meal.
Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Don't trust doctors, they once said you were sane.
Don't try to have the last word.  You might get it.
Don't underestimate the power of inflation.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Don't wait for your ship to come in, swim out to it.
Don't wash your dirty linen in public.
Don't worry, I'm fluent in weirdo.
Don't worry.  We're on a mission from God.
Don't you feel that your salami is on the chopping block?
Don't you know where *your* towel is?
Don't you oppress me.
Doners do it for life {h}
Dorset Bluveny?
Double Gloucester?
Doubt is the root of education, not faith.
Down with categorical imperatives.
Drama in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater.
Drama students do it for applause
Drama students do it with an audience
Draw your salary before spending it.
Drawing on my fine command of English, I said nothing.
Dream of a pure planet.
Dreams are true while they last, and do we not live in dreams?
Drink! for you know not whence you came, nor why.
Drive defensively.  Buy a tank.
Drivers do it with their cars
Drop dead.
Drop your carrier...We have you surrounded.
Drop your panties, Sir William; I cannot wait 'til lunchtime.
Druggists fill your prescription
Druids do it in the bushes
Druids do it naturally
Druids do it with animals
Druids leave no trace
Drummers always have hard sticks
Drummers beat it
Drummers do it in 4/4 time
Drummers do it longer
Drummers do it louder
Drummers do it with a better beat
Drummers do it with both hands and feet
Drummers do it with great rhythm
Drummers do it with rhythm
Drummers do it with their wrists
Drummers have faster hands
Drummers pound it
Drunks do it all over their shoes.
Drywallers are better bangers
Due to inflation, all clouds will now be lined with zinc.
Dulce bellum inexpertis.
Dumb v2.0:  Upgrade from stupid.
Dungeon masters do it any way they feel like
Dungeon masters do it anywhere they damn well please
Dungeon masters do it behind a screen
Dungeon masters do it in ways contrary to the laws of physics
Dungeon masters do it to you real good
Dungeon masters do it whether you like it or not
Dungeon masters do it with dice
Dungeon masters have better encounters
Dunno
Dunno Just thought I'd drop in
Dyslexic particle physicists do it with hadrons
E = mc  2 dB.
EXPERT - Some unknown drip under pressure.
Each of us contains an element of insanity.
Each young doctor means a new graveyard.
Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
Early to rise and ditto to bed, makes you socially dead.
Earn cash in your spare time -- blackmail your friends.
Earth was not earth before her sons appeared.
Earth: A solid substance, much desired by the seasick.
Easier said than done.
East credit terms available. - Satan.
East, west, home's best.
Easy as pie, no fuss, no muss, no crust.
Eat My Shorts....
Eat healthy, exercise daily, and die young anyway.
Eat to live and not live to eat.
Echo: Only thing that cheats some out of the last word.
Economists do it at bliss point
Economists do it cyclically
Economists do it in an edgeworth box
Economists do it on demand
Economists do it with a dual
Economists do it with an atomistic competitor
Economists do it with interest
Edam is not a Dutch Cheese, it's "made" backwards.
Edam?
Edible goats?
Education is simply the soul of a society as it passes from one generation to another.
Education made us what we are.
Education which is not modern, faces the organic fate.
Education, not experience, comes from reading fine print.
Ee cummings does it with ease
Eeny Meeny, Jelly Beanie, spirits are about to speak.
Efficiency takes time.  Frugality: who can afford it?
Eggheads unite!  You have nothing to lose but your yolks.
Eh?
Ein unntz Leben ist ein frher Tod.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Electrical education majors teach it by example
Electrical engineers are shocked when they do it
Electrical engineers do it on an impulse
Electrical engineers do it with faster rise time
Electrical engineers do it with large capacities
Electrical engineers do it with less resistance
Electrical engineers do it with more frequency and less resistance
Electrical engineers do it with more power and at higher frequency
Electrical engineers do it with super position
Electrical engineers do it without shorts
Electrical engineers resonate until it hertz
Electrician undo your shorts for you
Electricians are qualified to remove your shorts
Electricians check your shorts
Electricians do it 'till it Hz.
Electricians do it in their shorts
Electricians do it just to plug it in
Electricians do it until it hertz
Electricians do it with 'no shorts'
Electricians do it with spark
Electrochemists have greater potential
Electronic publishing: What's my lino?
Electronics technicians do it in a solid-state
Elevator men do it up and down
Elevators travel in groups.  Only one of them knows why.
Elves do it in fairy rings
Elvis hasn't left the building, he's just in the john.
Emailers do it between headers
Ementhal? 
Employers do it to employees
Empty vessels make the greatest sound.
Empty vessels make the most sound.
Emt's do it in ambulances
En boca cerrada no entran moscas.
Endocannibalism: The result of a really hungry cannibal.
Energy is eternal delight.
Engineers are erectionist perfectionists
Engineers charge by the hour
Engineers do it any way they can
Engineers do it at calculated angles
Engineers do it by calculation and design.
Engineers do it in mudd
Engineers do it in practice
Engineers do it in simple harmonic motion
Engineers do it precisely
Engineers do it roughly
Engineers do it to a first order approximation
Engineers do it with a right-handed coordinate system {i}
Engineers do it with less energy and greater efficiency
Engineers do it with precision
Engineers simply neglect it
England is a nation of shopkeepers.
England is the mother of parliaments.
English majors do it with an accent
English majors do it with style
Engraving is, in brief terms, the art of scratch.
Enjoy it - it's the last chance anyhow!
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Enter any 12-digit prime number to continue.
Enter that again, just a little slower.
Entomologists do it with insects
Entrepreneurs do it with creativity and originality
Entropy isn't what it used to be.
Entymologists do it with bugs
Environmentalist do it until it is green
Environmentalist recycle it
Envy is thin because it bites, but never eats.
Epitaph on a gravestone: Cheerio, see you soon.
Equality of the sexes leaves women standing on buses.
Equestrians do it in leather
Er, I'm afraid I don't quite follow you, Squadron Leader.
Ere the other side he see.         
Erm... quite tall, dandruff, zits, no ca har chra arm, y'know, the typical programmer.
Erm... well... some, but I'd rather not tell them. They're even worse than the Essex Girl one . :-)
Err, is there some sort of repeated file here?
Err, practically anywhere that sells Vic Reeves videos, or any BBS which has SUR-OBS.ARJ on it..
Err... you haven't learnt to look up age statistics yet, have you?
Error finding COLD BEER. Sysop not loaded.
Error reading FAT Table.  Try Skinny one? (Y/N).
Error: No Keyboard: Press F1 to Continue.
Error:015 - Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
Errors show up in the duplicate while the Boss reads it.
Errr dunno, tastes like cabbage too.
Eschew obfuscation
Essex girls always have early nights
Esuriant.
Et in Arcadia ego.
Ethics is not necessarily the handmaiden of theology.
Evangalists do it with him watching
Evangelists do more than lay people, sometimes.
Eve was the first woman to date a snake.
Even a cactus needs a little water now and then.
Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.
Even a lot of help at the wrong time adds up to nothing.
Even a noseless dog can stink.
Even a paranoid can have enemies.
Even a philosopher gets upset with a toothache.
Even a worm will turn.
Even hairless heiresses are always beautiful.
Even if it's inside an egg and tomato roll?
Even if you're paranoid maybe they're really after you.
Even the Tsar can't see his face without a reflector.
Even the blind can see money.
Even the boldest zebra fears a hungry lion.
Even the happiest of amoebae lack sexual organs.
Even the lion has to protect himself against flies.
Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history!
Even weeds have needs.
Events of importance often result from trivial causes.
Ever since I gave up hope, I feel much better.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
Ever wonder why Oprah spelled backwards is Harpo?
Every Titanic has its iceberg.
Every anarchist is a baffled dictator.
Every bullet has its billet.
Every child should be given the desire to learn.
Every crowd has a silver lining.
Every family has a skeleton in its cupboard.
Every hard-boiled egg is yellow inside.
Every hero becomes a bore at last.
Every huge program has a small program trying to get out.
Every human comes equipped with a brain at no extra cost.
Every idiot believes that they are Cassandra.
Every little helps.
Every man after his fashion.
Every man is as heaven made him, and sometimes a great deal worse.
Every noble work is at first impossible.
Every one has his taste.
Every person constructs their own bed of nails.
Every person gets to heaven in their own way.
Every person is the architect of their own fortune.
Every person you meet knows something you don't.
Every politician has a price, some hold bargain sales.
Every purchase has its price.
Every solution breeds new problems.
Every sound ends in silence, but silence never dies.
Every time I have answers, someone changes questions.
Every valuable idea offends someone.
Every why hath a wherefore.
Every woman should marry -- and no man.
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Everybody lies about sex.
Everybody likes a joker, but nobody loans him money.
Everybody must believe - I believe I'll have another beer.
Everybody should believe in something.
Everybody should believe: I believe I'll have a drink.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Everybody's a programmer, but who's WRITTEN anything?
Everyone as they loveth, some people kiss cows.
Everyone complains of memory, no one of judgment.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion without charge.
Everyone lives by selling something.
Everyone meets their Waterloo at last.
Everyone should know where his towel is.
Everything bows to success, even grammar.
Everything changes except change itself.
Everything flows and nothing stays.
Everything free is usually worth exactly what it cost.
Everything goes wrong all at once.
Everything in time is birth to some and death to others.
Everything is possible, but nothing of interest is easy.
Everything put together falls apart sooner or later.
Everything should be made as simple as necessary.
Everything starts in somebody's head as a daydream.
Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
Evil be to him who evil thinks.
Evil is a hill.  We stand on ours, speak about others.
Excellence is to do a common thing in an uncommon way.
Excellent day for drinking heavily.  Spike water cooler.
Excellent day to have a rotten day.
Excellent time to become a missing person.
Excellent.
Excess is never enough.
Excuse me for butting in.  But, I'm interrupt-driven.
Excuse me, can you spare a tagline?
Execute program code from Write Only Memory.
Executive ability is prominent in your make-up.
Executives do it in briefs
Executives do it in three piece suits
Executives have large staffs
Existentialists do it alone
Exit, pursued by a bear.
Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.
Experience is the best teacher.
Experience is the mother of wisdom.
Experience varies directly with the equipment ruined.
Experience: what you get when you don't get what you want 
Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.
Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a side of fries, please.
Eyes are the windows of the soul.
F r o m  the  s l o w  s p e a k e r s  o f  A m e r i c
Facing the facts makes it hard to get up in the morning.
Fact of life #15: Heads bleed, walls don't.
Factor analysts rotate their principal components
Facts are stubborn things.
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
Facts speaker louder than statistics.
Faint hearts never win in love nor sell life insurance.
Fair enough.
Faith goes out through the window when beauty comes in.
Faith healers do it with whatever they can lay their hands on
Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
Faith will move mountains.
Faith will not die while seed catalogs are printed.
Fame is proof that people are gullible.
Fame: Chiefly a matter of dying at the right moment.
Familiarity breeds attempt.
Familiarity breeds contempt.
Fanaticism: Redoubling effort when your aim is forgotten.
Fancy a snog
Fantasy roleplayers do it all night
Fantasy roleplayers do it all weekend
Fantasy roleplayers do it in a dungeon
Fantasy roleplayers do it in a group
Far duller than a serpent's tooth to spend a quiet youth.
Farfignewton: German for "ergonomic cookie."
Farfrompoopin...German word for constipation.
Farmers do it all over the countryside
Farmers do it in the dirt
Farmers do it on a corn field
Farmers plant it deep
Farmers spread it around
Faster than yours
Fat heads, lean brains.
Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends.
Fault lies with systems not the technologies involved.
Fax me no questions, I'll Fax you no lies.
Fear is the parent of cruelty.
Fear is the tax that conscience pays to guilt.
Fear not, for I have given you authority.
Fear of death is worse than death itself.
Feather by feather the goose is plucked.
Feathers are so expensive now that DOWN is up.
Features should be discovered, not documented.
Federal express couriers will absolutely, positively do it overnight
Federal express employees do it overnight
Feet smell?  Nose runs?  Hey, you're upside down!
Fell off near Bovey Tracey.
Fell off near Budleigh Salterton.
Fell off near Ottery St. Mary.
Fell off near Tiverton.
Fencers do it in a full lunge
Fencers do it in the fleche {j}
Fencers do it with a thrust
Fencers do it with three feet of sword
Fer sail cheep, Windows spel chekker, wurks grate.
Ferrari
Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France!  Mmmwah!
Fetuses do it in-vitro
Few of us can stand prosperity -- someone else's.
Few things are as painful to us as the truth.
Fibonacci Numbers: The mathematical explanation of life.
Fiction: It can't hold a scandal to biography.
Fiddle: Friction of a horse's tail on a cat's entrails.
Fight fire with fire.
Fight organized crime, stamp out the IRS!
Fighter pilots do it at incredable speeds
Figures don't lie, but liars can figure.
Figures.
File not found.  Delete *.* and change directory? (Y/N)_
Finance professors don't do it at all; apparently
Fine
Fine day for a good workout. Steal something heavy.
Fine day to throw a party.  Throw him as far as you can.
Fine feathers make fine birds.
Finest in the district!
Fingers were made before forks, and hands before knives.
Firemen are always in heat
Firemen do it wearing rubber
Firemen do it with a big hose
Firemen do it with a lot of heat
Firemen find `em hot, and leave `em wet
Firemen have bigger hoses
Firmness in politics is called obstinacy in a donkey.
First come, first served.
First feelings are always the most natural.
First impressions are the most lasting.
First rule of intelligent tinkering: save all the parts.
First, draw the curve; then, plot the data.
Fish and guests smell in three days.
Fishermen are proud of their rods
Fishermen do it for reel
Fishing is a delusion surrounded by liars in old clothes.
Fishing rod: a hook at one end, a fool at the other.
Flagpole sitters do it in the air
Flamers have uncontrollable vowel movements.
Flattery is all right so long as you don't inhale.
Flattery is counterfeit money, circulated by vanity.
Flattery: Cologne water, to smell but not swallow.
Flautists blow crosswise
Floppy not responding, Format HARD DRIVE instead? Y/N.
Florist: A petal pusher.
Flowers
Fluoridate martinis: holes in your liver not your teeth.
Flyers do it in the air
Flyers do it on top, upside down, or rolling
Fm disc jockeys do it in stereo and with high fidelity
Folks who have no vices have few virtues.
Follow me.  
Follow your heart and let your head take care of itself.
Foolish fears drive away good fortune.
Fools build houses, and wise men buy them.
Fools live poor to die rich.
Football players are measured by the yard
Football players do it offensively/defensively
For a bug-free environment do NOT run this program.
For any action there is an equal and opposite criticizer.
For carnival we put masks over our masks.
For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
For hope is but the dream of those that wake.
For life is quite absurd, and death's the final word.
For many, the declension of life is: I go, you go, ego.
For mothercare?
For sale: Hourglass for timing Windows.
For skoda's?
For some, reality is an illusion.
For some: know God & know peace/others: no God & no peace 
For something you really want, the price is always high.
For the Snark *was* a Boojum, you see.
For when the wine is in, the wit is out.
Forbidding, aloof, terrifying.
Force is not a remedy.
Foresters do it in trees
Forests lovely, dark & deep ... I have promises to keep.
Forgers do it hot
Forget  RTFM  - Call the author at home.
Forget *HIM* it's time to run a *HER* for president.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin.
Forget whales, save Jupiter for when Earth is used up.
Forget your origin, always know where you're heading.
Forgive and forget.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Forgotten men at the bottom of the economic pyramid.
Formula one racers come too fast and in laps
Forth programmers do it from behind
Fortran programmers do it with soap
Fortran programmers just do it
Fortunately not.
Fortune favours the brave.
Fortune truly helps those who are of good judgment.
Fountains mingle with the river, rivers with the ocean.
Four hours to bury a cat?
Four-wheelers eat more bush
Fraid so
Fraid so I don't like my bottom being sore
Frank sinatra does it his way
Frankly my dear, I don't give a download. -Rhett Sysop.
Fraternity men do it with their little sisters
Freedom begins when you tell Mrs Grundy to go fly a kite.
Freedom is a hard-bought thing - A gift no man can give.
Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.
French horn *****- self-explanatory
Friction is a drag.
Friday's child is loving and giving.
Friend: Anyone who has the same enemies you have.
Friends come and go, but relatives tend to accumulate.
Friends don't let friends drive Fords.
Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.
Friendships are not always preserved in alcohol.
Frisbyterian: when you die, your soul goes up on the roof.
Frog philosophy: Time's fun when you're having flies!
From C:\*.* to shining C:\*.*
From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
From listening comes wisdom, from speaking, repentance.
Frustrated hackers use self-modifying infinite perversion
Fuck Harry
Fuck me honey, I some condoms, if yu wanna use 'em
Fuck me!
Fuck off bitch
Fuck off shit!
Fuck off then see if I care
Fuck that!
Fuck you
Fuck you cuntlips
Fuckin orrible
Fun with Greek #4: Fee, , fo, fum!
Funnily enough errrr no
Funny
Funny peculiar, or funny ha-ha?
Funny thing.... harder I work, luckier I get.
Furriers appreciate good beaver
Future looks spotty. You will spill soup in late evening.
Fuzzy theorists both do it and don't do it
G'day Bruce!
G'day, Bruce!
G.I. Series: A military baseball game.
GIVE: Support the helpless victims of computer error.
Gamblers do it on a hunch
Gamblers do it with a kidde (kitty)
Game wardens do it with animal instinct
Gamers do it by the rules
Garbage in, Gospel out.
Garbagemen come once a week
Gardeners do it by trimming your bush
Gardeners do it in bed
Gardeners do it on the bushes
Gardeners do it twice a year and then mulch it
Gardeners have 50 foot hoses
Gas station attendants pump all day
Gee thanks Wally!
Gee, I wonder what this key does.
Gee, Ward, weren't you kind of hard on Beaver last night.
Gee... What's that ticking in the corner.
Gen. Custer, can I be excused for this afternoon?
Gene Police: "Hey YOU! Get out of this pool."
Genealogists believe they can always trace an ancestor.
Genealogists do it in the library.
Genealogy. Tracing descent from someone who didn't.
Genealogy:  It's all relative in the end anyway.
Genealogy: Looking for bones in the closet.
Genealogy: tracing us back to the same brother & sister.
General Brain Failure.  (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (O)h.
General stupidity error reading drive C.
Generals have something to do with the stars
Genetics: Why you look like your father, or should.
Genetists do it with sick genes
Genius is an infinite capacity for taking pains.
Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
Genius: One who can do anything except earn a living.
Gentleman, I'd like to introduce man from Pommeyland who is joinin' us this year in the philosophy department at the University of Walamaloo.
Gentlemen always seem to remember blondes.
Gentlemen, I think we better start the faculty meeting. 
Geographers do it everywhere
Geographers do it globally
Geologists are great explorers
Geologists do it eruptively, with glow, and always smoke afterwards
Geologists do it in folded beds
Geologists do it to get their rocks off
Geologists know how to make the bedrock
Geometers do it constructively
Geometry: what the acorn said after it grew up.
George Orwell was an optimist.
George did it in the bush
George did it with a bush in hand
Georgia is on my mind.
Gerald ford does it on his face
German for constipation: Farfrompoopin'.
Get a ROBONAP: Will sleep for you while you're online.
Get a life
Get a new lease on life, do you have the security deposit 
Get in there
Get knotted
Get me some coffee and then ask me in ten minutes.
Get nowhere: Sit on your butt feeling sorry for yourself.
Get on with it!
Get someone else to break the shrink wrap.
Get thee down.  Be thou funky.
Get your exercise as a pallbearer for exercising friends.
Get your tits out
Get your tits out then, did ya
Getting a second chance is never a certainty.
Gezundteit has a loose beginning.
Gin was mother's milk to her.
Gis a pint of aftershave.
Git
Give a dog a bad name and hang him.
Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
Give a small boy a hammer and everything needs pounding.
Give him an inch and he'll take a yard.
Give me a tenner and I'll lick your piss flaps
Give me patience .  RIGHT NOW.
Give me the luxuries, and to hell with the necessities.
Give the gift that keeps on giving; a female kitten.
Give the man a cigar.
Give them all they want, and all they will want is more.
Give us ten woods, Barney.
Glory may be fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Gnaw the bone which has fallen to thy lot.
Gnomes are too short to do it
Gnu programmers do it for free and they don't give a damn about look & feel
Go ahead
Go ahead, back up to the RAM disk.  I dare you.
Go away
Go on, give us a kiss then
Go soak your head, puny human.
Go to a nude beach. Keep abreast of developments.
Go to bed with the lamb and rise with the lark.
Go to hell is the only answer a snooper's question rates.
God bless the USA, so large, so friendly, and so rich.
God dislikes money -- look who he gives it to.
God gave burdens shoulders also.
God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them.
God heals, but always someone else wants a fee.
God is a comic playing to an audience afraid to laugh.
God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes.
God is real, unless declared integer.
God is subtle but he is not malicious.
God made everything out of nothing, but it shows through.
God made the first garden, Cain the first city.
God never imposes a duty without giving time to do it.
God said,  Let Newton be!  and all was light.
God this is crap
Golden Rule: she who has the gold makes the rules.
Golf players always sink their putts
Golfer: A person who hits and lies.
Golfers do it in 18 holes
Golly, Yogi, I don't think Mr. Ranger's gonna like this.
Gone fishing 
Good
Good Morning.
Good advice is an insult that should be forgiven.
Good advice is given when too old to set a bad example.
Good architecture takes on a life of its own.
Good cooking takes time.
Good day for a change of scene.  Repaper the bedroom wall 
Good day for overcoming obstacles.  Try a steeplechase.
Good day to let down old friends who need help.
Good fortune at times seems to favor the stupid.
Good girls get Heaven; Bad girls, the world.
Good health will be yours for a long time.
Good luck is a lazy man's estimate of a worker's success.
Good luck. 
Good manners are the lubricant of social intercourse.
Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium!
Good news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor.
Good news: Ten weeks from Friday may be a pretty good day 
Good night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.
Good point. It sounds like you're kinda tired of this game.
Good printers do it without wrinkling the sheets.
Good taste is the flower of good sense.
Good things, when short, are twice as good.
Got to have a laugh haven't you?
Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer.
Gouda?
Government should spend our money like it was their own.
Graduates do it by degrees
Gravediggers die to do it
Graveyards are full of the indispensable.
Gravity always wins.
Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks.
Gravity:  Not just a good idea, it's the law.
Gravy
Great
Great men and women are not always idiots.
Great minds may at times think alike, if at all.
Great oaks from little acorns grow.
Great what about your good self?
Greed is good, greed works.
Greek Feta?
Greeks do it with their brothers and sisters
Greengrocers are senior to insurance salesmen.
Greetings from Hell....wish you were here.
Greyhound drivers do it with fewer stops
Grippe:  A suitcase for carrying flu medicines.
Ground Beef -- A cow with no legs.
Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
Gruyere?
Guess what I made for dinner?  Reservations!
Guitar players do it with a g-string
Guitar players had their licks
Guitar players have their pick
Guitarists strum it with their pick
Gun Control is being able to hit your target.
Guns don't kill people  off-line readers do.
Gymnasts do it with grace
Gymnasts mount and dismount well
Gyneacologists mostly sniff, watch and finger
HELP! Protect America's children, soil, and water today.
HHeellpp.. II''mm ssttuucckk iinn hhaallff--dduupplleexx.
Ha ha how long have you been stuck here in this weird world
HaHaHa! Yuk, Yuk. Snort. Harumph.
Habit is a great deadener.
Hackers appreciate virtual dresses
Hackers are i/o experts
Hackers avoid deadly embrace
Hackers discover the powers of two
Hackers do it a little bit
Hackers do it absolutely
Hackers do it all night
Hackers do it at link time
Hackers do it attached
Hackers do it automatically
Hackers do it bottom up
Hackers do it bug-free
Hackers do it by the numbers
Hackers do it concurrently
Hackers do it conditionally
Hackers do it detached
Hackers do it digitally
Hackers do it discretely
Hackers do it during downtime
Hackers do it during pm
Hackers do it efficiently
Hackers do it faster
Hackers do it forever even when they're not supposed to
Hackers do it globally
Hackers do it graphically
Hackers do it immediately
Hackers do it in a hrri
Hackers do it in batches
Hackers do it in dumps
Hackers do it in less space
Hackers do it in libraries
Hackers do it in loops
Hackers do it in o(n log n)
Hackers do it in parallel
Hackers do it in sextran
Hackers do it in stacks
Hackers do it in the microcode
Hackers do it in the software
Hackers do it in trees
Hackers do it in two states
Hackers do it indirectly
Hackers do it interactively
Hackers do it iteratively
Hackers do it loaded
Hackers do it locally
Hackers do it randomly
Hackers do it recursively
Hackers do it reentrantly
Hackers do it relocatably
Hackers do it sequentially
Hackers do it synchronously
Hackers do it top down
Hackers do it with all sorts of characters
Hackers do it with bugs
Hackers do it with computers
Hackers do it with ddt
Hackers do it with demons
Hackers do it with editors
Hackers do it with fewer instructions
Hackers do it with high priority
Hackers do it with insertion sorts
Hackers do it with interrupts
Hackers do it with key strokes
Hackers do it with open windows
Hackers do it with phantoms
Hackers do it with quick sorts
Hackers do it with recursive descent
Hackers do it with side effects
Hackers do it with simultaneous access
Hackers do it with slaves
Hackers do it with their fingers
Hackers do it with words
Hackers do it without a net
Hackers do it without arguments
Hackers do it without detaching
Hackers do it without proof of termination
Hackers do it without protection
Hackers do it without you even knowing it
Hackers don't do it -- they're hacking all the time
Hackers get off on tight loops
Hackers get overlaid
Hackers have better software tools
Hackers have faster access routines
Hackers have good hardware
Hackers have high bawd rates
Hackers have high bod rates
Hackers have it where it counts
Hackers have response time
Hackers know all the right movs
Hackers know what to diddle
Hackers make it quick
Hackers multiply with stars
Hackers stay logged in longer
Hackers stay up longer
Hackers take big bytes
Haha. bye
Hahahaha
Hail, hail, rock and roll.
Hails of derisive laughter, Bruce!
Hair stylists are shear pleasure
Hairdressers give the best blow jobs
Hairy fishnuts, anyone?
Half Moon tonight -- its better than no Moon at all.
Half a loaf is surely much better than no vacation at all
Half the floor was missing; we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of FALLING!  
Halt and catch fire.
Ham operators do it with frequency
Ham radio operators do it till their gigahertz
Ham radio operators do it with higher frequency
Ham radio operators do it with more frequency
Hams do it with frequency, till their GIGAHERTZ.
Hand it over with all speed.
Hand me that dolphin burger.  Yeah, the one in styrofoam.
Handsome is as handsome does.
Handymen do it with whatever is available
Handymen like good screws
Handymen like to pound it in
Hang up your logic over there.
Hang-gliders do it in the air
Hangnail: A place to hang your coat and hat upon entering 
Happiness can't buy money.
Happiness is a computer with a good sense of humor.
Happiness is a mystery like religion and should never be rationalised.
Happiness is a positive cash flow.
Happiness is mandatory....Are you happy?
Happiness is no laughing matter.
Happiness: A sensation arising from misery of others.
Happiness: a combination of good health and a bad memory.
Happy birthday!
Happy couple: A deaf husband and a blind wife.
Happy is the child whose father died rich.
Happy the hare at morning, for she cannot read the hunters waking thoughts.
Happy trails to you.
Hard and high to the stars.
Hard work has a future payoff.  Laziness pays off now.
Hard work has never killed anyone, but why take a chance?
Hardware buffs do it in nanoseconds
Hardware designers' performance is hardware dependant
Hardware hackers are a charge
Hardware hackers do it closely coupled
Hardware hackers do it electrically
Hardware hackers do it intermittently
Hardware hackers do it noisily
Hardware hackers do it on a bus
Hardware hackers do it over a wide temperature range
Hardware hackers do it with ac and dc
Hardware hackers do it with bus drivers
Hardware hackers do it with charge
Hardware hackers do it with connections
Hardware hackers do it with emitter-coupled logic
Hardware hackers do it with female banana plugs
Hardware hackers do it with male connectors
Hardware hackers do it with maximum ratings
Hardware hackers do it with power
Hardware hackers do it with resistance
Hardware hackers do it with transceivers
Hardware hackers do it with uncommon emitters into open collectors
Hardware hackers have faster rise times
Hardware hackers have sensitive probes
Hardware hackers like to finger the mainframe
Hardware:  The parts of a computer that can be kicked.
Hardware: This you kick. Software: This you corrupt.
Harpists do it by pulling strings
Has anyone seen my sanity? 
Has he.
Haste makes waste.
Hasten to laugh at everything, or later you may weep.
Have a nice day.
Have a nice lie down.
Have an affair.  It will break up the monogamy.
Have stock?  Will broker.
Have the computer beep me, when it is ready.
Have tree, will climb - just as all my ancestors did.
Have you a book full of wise cracks there or someat?
Have you any Grey Poupon?
Have you been here before?
Have you considered suing your parents for defamation of character?
Have you ever visited Constantinople?
Have you got a fella?
Have you got any Limburger?
Have you got any?
Have you got anything without spam?
Have you had a significant new idea of your own lately?
Have you hugged your computer today?
Have you in fact got any cheese here at all.
Have you seen my mind? It was wandering again.
Have you?
Hawaii shorts: What a wallet has after a vacation there.
Hawaiians do it volcanicly
He asks each traveller five questions
He bellows like a cow standing on her tit.
He cannot rule the great who cannot rule the small.
He compresses the most words into the smallest ideas.
He has all the charm of a dirty Christmas card.
He has ceased to be!  
He has too many lice to feel an itch.
He hasn't a single redeeming vice.
He is a deeply superficial person.
He is a self-made man, and worships his creator.
He is a sheep in sheep's clothing.
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.
He is not only dull within, but causes dullness without.
He is the keeper of the Bridge of Death.  
He is the most sensible looking man talking nonsense.
He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.
He looks respectable
He makes no friends who never made a foe.
He said and she smiled quietly to herself.
He says a thousand pleasant things, but never "Adieu."
He that fights and runs away, may live to fight another day.
He that has no children brings them up well.
He that knows little, often repeats it.
He that knows nothing, doubts nothing.
He used to buy his mother flowers and that.  
He walks as if balancing the family tree on his nose.
He walks down Lover's Lane holding his own hand.
He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.
He was a centurion in the Jerusalem Garrison.
He was a real darling.
He was like a brother to me.                 
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp.
He was so crooked you could use him to pull corks with.
He wasn't his mother's favorite, and he was an only child.
He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut.
He who attacks my ideas attacks democracy itself.
He who can, does. He who cannot teaches.
He who desires but acts not, breeds pestilence.
He who drinks a little too much drinks much too much.
He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
He who fights & runs away will live to fight another day.
He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
He who hesitates at the wrong time is lunch for a shark.
He who hesitates is lost.
He who hesitates is several miles from the next exit.
He who hesitates too long, must change his underwear.
He who laughs last probably doesn`t understand the joke.
He who laughs last probably made a backup.
He who laughs, lasts.
He who lives by the sword dies by the sword.
He who praises everybody praises nobody.
He who rides a tiger is afraid to dismount.
He who sups with the devil should have a long spoon.
He who talks too much commits a sin.
He who wakes up finding himself a success, hasn't slept.
He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder.
He wouldn't recognize subtlety if it hit them on the head 
He's a chip right off the old shoulder.
He's a few fries short of a Happy Meal.
He's a freemason, and a conservative M.P.
He's dead?  I thought he was imitating Al Gore.
He's not 'ere, Bruce.
He's such a good speaker, even a cough sounds read.
He's tan, he's rested.  Nixon in '92!
Headmasters have powers at their disposal with which Prime Ministers have never yet been invested.
Headquarters controls it
Headquarters knows nothing about it
Heads will roll.
Health is better than wealth.
Health is the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Hear, hear! 
Hearts will never be practical 'til they're unbreakable.
Heaven allows glimpses only to those at a distance.
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned.
Hedgehogs do it cautiously
Heh, you're a bit evil aren't you?
Heh.
Hehe
Hehe, well programmed Mr Sysop!
Heideggar, Heideggar was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table.
Heinz does it with great relish
Helicopter pilots do it while hovering
Helicopter pilots do it with autorotation
Hell hath no fury like a demon scorched.
Hell is other people.
Hell, Heaven or Hoboken by Christmas.
Hello
Hello Alaric
Hello Bruce.
Hello Ethel you silly old bat
Hello Justin, what are you so busy with?
Hello sweetheart.
Hello, Ethel ! Who are you ?
Hello, John
Hello, good evening and welcome
Hello.
Hello? Oliver are you out there?
Help
Help Stamp Out Intolerance!
Help a swallow to land at Capistrano.
Help me, I'm stuck in here! - A Tagline.
Help stamp out vandalism, or I'll break all your windows.
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy.
Help!  I can't find the "ANY" key.
Help.  I'm trapped at 0D1C:01DA.
Help.  I've fallen and can't reach my beer.
Help. I've fallen and can't get up. A. Tree.
Herc pilots deliver bigger loads
Here I run, to steal the secret of the sun.
Here is further away than you think.
Here today, dawn tomorrow.
Here you go. Let's have a fag
Here! Here's the boss-fellow now!
Here's looking at you kid.
Here's looking at you, kid.
Herman Hollerith is buried 9 edge, face down.
Hermits do it alone
Hero-worship: Idol gossip.
Hewlett packard does it with precision
Hex Dump:  Place for witches to get rid of used curses.
Hey I feel funny. What is this stuff?
Hey dude, I must answer a call to the sandman. It's been a real Pleasure rappin to ya.
Hey man, you can't prove nothing.  I was at home.
Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.
Hey, if you say that once more, I'll smash your fucking face in.
Hey, wait, don't pick up that ph#{#!@#$%^&*()=.
Hey. Don't pick up that phoׯች  NO CARRIER.
Hi
Hi Babe
Hi Ethel, tell me something
Hi Gorgeous what's ur fancy 
Hi Kiddo...How's business..?
Hi Sharon, are you from Essex? 
Hi, my name is John, and I'm a closet lurker.
Hi, my name is Rover, I'll paint your car yellow free.
Hick: Looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
Hide when you bite your nails, or everyone will wonder.
Hikers do it naturally
Hindsight is the most exact of the sciences.
Hindsight is the most exact science.
Hire a teenager while they still know it all.
His bicycle pump got caught in his sock.
His face was filled with broken commandments.
His foe was folly and his weapon wit.
Historians did it
Historians do it for prosperity
Historians do it over long periods of time
Historians do it with dates
Historians study who did it
History books which contain no lies are extremely dull.
History doesn't repeat itself. Historians do.
History doesn't repeat, historians repeat each other.
History is made at night.
History repeats itself because nobody listens.
History repeats itself.
Hitch your wagon to a star.
Hiya, I was just making a cup of tea.
Hm..what's this red button foNO CARRIER.
Hmm, how old are you Ethel?
Hmm..... well rather the swinging city of Turkey than swinging a turkey in the city.  
Hmmm, When is the last time the Tooth Fairy visited you?
Hmmmmm.... never tried an atomic bomb before.
Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
Ho to make a long story short: Forget the punch line.
Ho yus, me old beauty, I should say so.
Hobbits do it only if it isn't dangerous
Hobo: A person who builds palaces and lives in shacks.
Hockey players do it in 90 minutes
Hockey players do it on the ice
Hockey players do it with a snap-shot
Hockey players do it with their sticks
Hockey players do it; so what?
Hockey players like to puck
Hockey players use hard sticks
Hokay
Hold on, I'll close the window.
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom.
Hollywood: A trip through a sewer in a glass bottom boat.
Holy Razorblades, Batman.  That was a close shave.
Home is where the heart is.
Home, to a young boy, is merely a filling station.
Homo sum; humani nihil a me alienum puto.
Honest Politician: One who stays bought.
Honest, officer!  The dwarf was on fire when I got here.
Honesty is the best policy.
Honesty pays, but not enough for some.
Honesty: Fear of being caught.
Honey in the mouth and knives in the heart.
Honi soit qui mal y pense.
Hope for the best.
Horn players do it french style
Horseback riders stay in the saddle longer
Hospital: A workshop for the repair of faulty humans.
Hospitals: Places where the run down wind up.
Hot air sometimes thaws out a cold reception.
Hot enough to boil a monkey's bum!
Hot water heaters?    Hot water needs heating?
Hotel: A place you give good dollars for bad quarters.
House!?  Hmph. Well when I say "house" it was only a hole in the ground covered by a piece of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us.
House?  You were lucky to have a HOUSE!  We used to live in one room, all hundred and twenty-six of us, no furniture.  
Housekeeping ain't no joke.
How about "A Hundred and One Ways to Start a Fight"?              
How are you
How are you Bruce?
How are you feeling?
How are you, Bruce?
How beautiful it would be for someone who could not read.
How blest are the sorrowful, for they shall find consolation.
How blest are those of gentle spirit. They shall have the earth for their possession.
How blest are those who hunger and thirst to see right prevail.
How come I get all the hard questions?
How come men got nipples?
How come they call 'em APARTments when they're attached?
How could anything alter reality for $9.95?
How did I get round from eating square meals.
How dieth the wise man? As the fool.
How do I get out of this?
How do I make a dignified exit?
How do I quit this?
How do I set my laser printer to stun?
How do frogs die? Ker-mit suicide.
How do you do that?
How do you know so much about cycling?
How do you know so much about swallows?
How do you look when I'm sober?
How is the Empire?
How long have you been doing this stuff?
How many have you had tonight? good thing you're not driving any heavy machinery huh?
How many sex-restricted jobs require a penis or a vagina?
How many times do you need to be tolled anyway?
How much is he paying you
How much memory have you got?  One brain, one memory.
How much will you pay to fish in my river?
How old is young or old for that matter.
How r ya?
How should I know. How does one down load a file into my system using this newfangled thing called a Modem?
How time flies, when you have a heap of problems.
How to win friends and influence people.
How was it?
How wise are they that are but fools in love.
How you look depends on who is looking.
How's about it lover?
How's it hanging?
How's things?
Hug: A roundabout way of expressing affection.
Huh to you to
Huh?
Human Being: An ingenious assembly of portable plumbing.
Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
Humans sin by both ommision as well as commission.
Humble pie is always hard to swallow with your pride.
Humility is only doubt, and does the sun and moon blot out.
Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.
Humpty Dumpty DOS - Just a shell of himself.
Hunger is the best sauce.
Hunters do it in the bush
Hunters do it with a bang
Hunters do it with a big gun
Hunters eat what they shoot
Hunters go deeper into the bush
Hunting is no fun when the rabbit has the gun.
Hurdlers do it every 10 meters
Husband and wife plan fight.  TIFF at 11.
Hydrogen bombs make great party gags!
Hydrogeologists do it till they're all wet
Hypertrichologists do it with intensity
Hypnotists do it on the count of three
Hypocrisy is the type of homage vice pays to virtue.
I Just got stopped by the LAPD and boy am I beat.
I [] My Dog. I [] My Cat.
I ain't broke, but I'm badly bent.
I ain't got a clue, but it sounds like fun!
I almost stole another tagline. I'm so ashamed.
I always did like climbing trees, is this genetic?
I am Homer of Borg.  Prepare to be... ooooohh, doughnuts!
I am a man more sinned against than sinning. - King Lear.
I am a shrubber.
I am a student
I am always exact and precise (more or less).
I am an atheist still, thank God.
I am as drunk as a Lord.
I am as nervous as a tree on the Lassie show about that.
I am as poor as Job, but not so patient. - Shake.
I am as sober as a judge.
I am asking.
I am in total control, but please don't tell my wife.
I am just turning forty and taking my time over it.
I am my own ancestor.
I am not a dictator.  It's just I have a grumpy face.
I am not afraid!
I am not an animal!  I am what I am, but not an animal.
I am not arguing with you - I am telling you.
I am not arguing with you, I'm telling you.
I am not in bed I will be on the computer tonight
I am not young enough to know everything.
I am only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller.
I am perfectly sane, and so am I.
I am tolerant of your fruitcake like beliefs.
I am who I pretend to be at that point in time and space.
I am willing to love all mankind, except an American.
I am willing to taste any drink once.
I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.
I asked a question!
I be nibble, you be quick, he jump over the joystick.
I beg cold comfort.
I beg your pardon?
I believe we're under attack, but I'm not too sure.
I bet she does, I bet she does!
I bet you did
I better go now
I bid you welcome to your new home.
I bought dehydrated water...but I don't know what to add.
I brake for brick walls.
I came; I saw; I screwed up.
I can be decisive, I think.
I can only type slow so bear with me!
I can resist anything but temptation.
I can resist everything/anything except temptation.
I can see that.
I can tell, you are beautiful. Do you wanna go out the back?
I can't be overdrawn, I still have checks.
I can't be stupid, I completed third grade.
I can't believe I wrote that whole thing.
I can't imagine.
I can't just ring her up.
I can't use Windows.  My cat ate my mouse
I chop down trees, I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. 
I consider cake and ice-cream my just desserts.
I could do with some of that stuff myself.
I cried all the way to the bank.
I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers.
I decided to check him into a hotel while I visited the British Embassy to ask for help in returning to Cornwall.
I despise the pleasure of pleasing people whom I despise.
I did!
I didn't get the documentation for the manuals.
I didn't know that you were a card player !
I distinctly remember forgetting that.
I do love cricket - it's so very English.
I do not pretend to know what the ignorant are sure of.
I do not smoke 
I do respect you, your great, special even.
I do, am I really as sad as this?
I don' gotta show you no steenking tag line.
I don't believe in miracles, I rely on them.
I don't care how fucking runny it is.  
I don't care. Now do you fancy a shag?
I don't have the time for a hobby.  I have a computer.
I don't have to look up my family tree. I'm the sap.
I don't know - the letters came to me in a vision, Richard.
I don't know how much more she'll take of this, Captain.
I don't know.
I don't know. I can't even chat to a duck successfully.  I must be going mad.
I don't know. Never tried
I don't know. Was it you too?
I don't know...kids bringin' 'em in here....
I don't like broccoli either.
I don't like darkies.
I don't like space programs only red dwarf
I don't need a warranty. I'll just take it back..
I don't want it now, I want it RIGHT now.
I don't want to be there when it's time for me to die. 
I don't what
I don't. It makes you look like a sheep
I drink, therefore I am.
I either want less corruption, a chance to participate.
I escaped without injury fortunately.
I fear needing explanations of things explained.
I feel fine!
I feel more like I do now than I did a while ago.
I figured out what I was doing right, it doesn't anymore.
I figured that much. So am I. Chow.
I finally got it all together, but forgot where I put it.
I gather you had an accident?
I gave my last one to a tramp. Sorry
I give up. Push me that hollow log and I'll climb in.
I go to church regularly.
I got lost in thought.  I was in unfamiliar territory.
I had a dislocated funny bone <OUCH> but it's better now.
I had better go now
I had one of those, but I upgraded last week
I hate people who type with dirty fingernails.
I hate taglines.
I hate to repeat gossip, so I'll only say this once.
I have a 9600bps modem and 1.5bps fingers.
I have a big dick
I have a black belt in haiku.
I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humour.
I have a really good memory, except it's short. 
I have a rock garden.  Last week three of them died.
I have always looked upon cricket as organised loafing.
I have done almost every human activity inside a taxi, which does not require main drainage.
I have got some condoms
I have here sitting in the studio next to me an elk.
I have lost my mind, but it must be backed-up somewhere.
I have never kissed the editor of the radio times.
I have seen an agent in the town. 
I have seen the future, it is just an extended present.
I have the simplest of tastes.  The best is satisfactory.
I have to think twice before I give it a second thought.
I haven't lost my mind ... It's backed up somewhere!
I haven't lost my mind.  It must be backed up somewhere.
I just bought a cured ham.  Wonder what it had? 
I just do it
I just escaped the twilight zone and fell into the 0zone.
I just found the last bug.
I just steal 'em, I don't explain 'em.
I just took an IQ test.  The results were negative.
I just wanted to try and ignore your crass mistake.
I just work here.
I know a good tag line when I steal one.
I know nothing, I see nothing, I didn't wake up yet.
I know the answer, as long as you ask the right question.
I know why so many squirrels live in my family tree.
I know yer problem. Me too. It's the beans with me
I know. I think I'll go read a dictionary.
I like the 486 tower.  Does it come in red?
I like the original series.
I like to press wild flowers.
I like to walk around Manhattan, catching glimpses of its wild life, the pigeons and cats and girls.
I like work.  I can sit and look at it for hours.
I like you!
I like you, you sexy beast!
I like your tits honey bunch
I like your tits, there great!
I loathe people who keep dogs.
I looked like you
I lost a button hole today.
I love standards, there are so many of them!
I made it for you, it's your birthday present!
I may be stupid, that still makes me smarter than you.
I may have my faults, but being wrong ain't one of them.
I may not be perfect, but I am all I got.
I may not be right, but I'm never wrong!
I may not be totally perfect, but some parts are OK.
I mean, if I went 'round, saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
I meant how long is it that we've been in the lifeboat?
I modem down, but dey grew back.
I most certainly did not!
I multitask... I read in the bathroom.
I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.
I must have a rapier wit; everyone keeps parrying.
I must have slipped a disk -- my pack hurts.
I mustanottagottalotta sleep last night.
I need a drink...where's the SPACE BAR?
I never give greetings at this time of day!
I never knew lasers could be printed.
I never loved another person the way I loved myself.
I never met a chocolate I didn't like.
I never metaphysics I didn't like.
I never rise above the noise and confusion.
I never said fish
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
I never wanted to do this job in the first place!
I noticed also that the lemon curd tart had sustained some superficial damage.
I noticed it. 
I only wrote the thing, I don't have to understand it.
I owe, I owe, so off to work I go.
I prefer my oysters fried.  Then I know my oysters died.
I put on women's clothing, and hang around in bars.
I quite drinking, smoking, and sex until I got bored.
I really will slug you so hard
I said that you look lovely, dalin'.
I said you'd never guess.
I saw a light at the end of the tunnel - it was a train.
I saw a subliminal advertising executive for a second.
I saw them - or what remained of them - on the road.
I see London, I see France - You're not wearing underpants!
I see no humor here, I can only laugh at the thought.
I see you are performing up to your standards.
I see.  
I seem to be having problems with my lifestyle.
I seem to be hearing the sound of idle hands clapping.
I shot an arrow into the air, and it got stuck.
I sighed as a lover, I obeyed as a child.
I sleep all night and I work all day.
I smell
I smell memory leakage.  Someone here is dozing.
I spilled spot remover on my dog.  He's gone now.
I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
I still miss my ex-wife - but my aim is improving.
I suggest you have a little lie down, my dear.
I suppose a shag is out of the question then?
I suppose it is still available in this area?
I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul.
I think ... therefore I am overqualified.
I think I got it made & they throw something else at me.
I think I'd feel happier with a bugged one.
I think I've just about had enough of this now.
I think in future I shall lash them to the handlebars with adhesive tape.  
I think it needs more juice.
I think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.
I think it's probably inside a small suitcase hidden inside a van belonging to a kebab seller in Istanbul
I think that I'll stand up-wind, if you don't mind.
I think that I'm the friendliest guy in my zipcode.
I think, therefore I am (or am I?).
I think, therefore I am overqualified.
I think, therefore I am... dangerous.
I think, therefore, I am single.
I thought I had seen you on my in my local pub's calander
I thought you were asleep?
I thought you were going to say highly deviant just then.
I thought you were talking to me, sir.
I thought you'd finished.
I tried my best not to.
I tried to drown my problems but they can swim.
I try to impress someone and always end on the short end.
I understand you don't contradict people.
I use windows...on my car, on my house, but not on my.
I used to read books.  Now I read .qwk files.
I usually do 
I usually go to the pub
I want a cheap thrill
I want another lovely slice.
I want another slice of rhubarb tart.
I want to ask what you have been doing lately
I want to buy some cheese.
I want to have babies.
I want to know what files you've got so I don't upload anything similar etc.
I want to know your age
I want to lick you all over, kiss your tits and your fanny and I want to make love to you all night
I want to live with a synonym girl.
I want, I want to be like you
I was born agnostic, and I'll diagnostic...
I was born in Oxford
I was changed into a tadpole.  I knew about metamorphosis 
I was deliberately wasting your time, sir.
I was only hoping you would not make that particular point, but I can see you're more than a match for me!
I was right!
I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.
I will 
I will not be a party to debasing the currency.
I will not buy this record, it is scratched.
I will not let myself fall into the hands of these scum.
I will. Have you any other good ideas?
I wish
I wish Adam had died with all his ribs in his body.
I wish I could come up with an original tagline.
I wish I'd been a girlie Just like my dear papa. 
I wish those bloody bells would stop.
I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
I wish to plead incompetence.
I wish to register a complaint.
I wish you'd buy a real computer
I wonder, do you think?
I would like to buy some high density disks
I would like to throw an egg into an electric fan.
I would strongly oppose apathy, if I cared. 
I wouldn't touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I'd like the blow on the head.
I'd like to have an argument, please.
I'd like to live like a poor person with lots of money.
I'd like to welcome the pommey bastard to God's own Earth, and remind him that we don't like stuck-up sticky-bates here.
I'll chip the end stop of your cunt
I'll give you a definite maybe.
I'll go and have a look.
I'll have a blow job please
I'll have a look, sir.
I'll let you rest you're circuits now Mr. Computer.
I'll let you rest your circuits now Simon
I'll start again.
I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
I'll undo my zip
I'll worry about it tomorrow.
I'm a college professor.
I'm a hero with coward's legs.
I'm a person of letters... unread collection notices.
I'm a pilot.  I pick it up here and pile it there.
I'm a thinker, I think, but I may be wrong.
I'm afraid I don't quite follow you.
I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday.
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
I'm as innocent as a new-laid egg.
I'm doing this for your own good.
I'm flexible..just don't change anything.
I'm from the government. I'm here to help you.
I'm glad I use dial, sure wish you did!
I'm having an out-of-money experience.
I'm human: nothing human smells strange to me.
I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it?
I'm in the computer business, I make Out-Of-Order signs.
I'm incredibly jealous, but still glad for you.
I'm just another blankity-blank BLANK.
I'm just needling you about the thread.
I'm keen to guess.
I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
I'm lost somewhere in the ozone again.
I'm making a special study of accidents involving food.
I'm making this up as I go along.
I'm miserable without you, it's like having you here.
I'm more humble than you are.
I'm most awfully sorry.
I'm not FOR apathy, and I'm not AGAINST it.
I'm not a D.J., but I play one on the radio.
I'm not a sysop, I just play one on the echoes.
I'm not confused, I'm just well-mixed.
I'm not crazy, I just don't give a &*$#.
I'm not disparaging the blueberry pie but rhubarb tart is oh so very nice.
I'm not fat! - just gravitationally challenged. 
I'm not joking you pervert (babes)
I'm not paranoid!  Which of my enemies told you this?
I'm not schizophrenic, I'm multi-faceted.
I'm not short and heavy, I'm just traveling near the speed of light.
I'm not so think as you drunk I am.
I'm not tense, just terribly alert...
I'm not..no I am..no, I'm NOT indecisive. Am I?
I'm ok, it's the world that's screwed up.
I'm on a seafood diet.  I see food and I eat it.
I'm on the Brute Squad. No, you ARE the Brute Squad.
I'm on the trailing edge of technology.
I'm perfect by necessity, it isn't honest to be modest.
I'm positively enameled with this subject.
I'm so bored, I'm starting to miss my husband.
I'm so poor, I can't even pay attention!
I'm sorry - I don't get your drift.
I'm sorry to have brought it up.
I'm sorry.
I'm sure he has
I'm sure it's clearly explained in the Zmodem DOC's.
I'm sure we can talk things out like uncivilized people.
I'm telling you, I did!
I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid you're just a mirage.
I'm the NRA, and if I can't vote twice, I'll shoot you.
I'm too stupid to know what I'm involved in.
I'm totally unprepared for everyday life.
I'm user friendly, I don't byte -- I snap.
I'm very fond of Tchaikovsky.
I'm very original
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
I'm, afraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir.
I've always wanted money.
I've been told Dinsdale Piranha nailed your head to the floor.
I've given up reading books. It takes my mind off myself.
I've got a BEER attitude.
I've got money and a big dick
I've got some condoms
I've got some ketchup though.
I've got three council houses
I've got three of 'em down by the bin, and the dustmen won't touch 'em!
I've got too many hands on my time.
I've had BETA days ... and nights.
I've had worse.
I've known you for ten minutes and I already like the way you think
I've seen better conversations in alphabet soup.
I've told you once.
I, uh, I beg your pardon?
I/O  I/O  IT'S WRITE TO DISK I GO  I/O  I/O.
I/o hackers do it without interrupt
I/o hackers have to condition their device first
IBM at times means (I)ncredibly (B)otched (M)achines.
IF I had to do it over again, it would be without TV.
IRS: How much did you make last year?  Please remit same.
Ideals kill politicians, and politicians kill ideals.
Idling is most joyful when there is plenty of work to do.
If A = B and B = C, then A = C, except where void.
If Americans have TagLines, do the English have TagQueues?
If Botticelli were alive today he'd be working for Vogue.
If DOS was an airline, would you purchase a ticket?
If God had meant for us to be naked, we would be so born.
If God is all knowing, can He understand DSZ docs?
If God is perfect, why do discontinuous functions exist?
If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.
If I could be respected and not have to be respectable.
If I die, I forgive you, if I recover, we shall see.
If I feel like exercise, I lie down until it passes.
If I had two dead mousies, I'd give you one.
If I have no mouth but I must scream what should I do?
If I invested in GM, it would be busted to Corporal.
If I save the whales, where do I keep them?
If I think I am right, I am right until proven wrong..
If I wanted your opinion I would give it to you.
If I were here more often, I wouldn't be gone so much.
If I were really two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
If I were you, who'd be me?
If I'd miss you when you're gone - would you leave now?
If Old MacDonald had a computer, it uses Eee-aye-eee I/O.
If U look close enough, the truth is hidden in the words.
If a book is worth reading, it is worth buying.
If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well.
If a man hasn't discovered something that he would die for, he isn't fit to live.
If a problem has a single neck, it is a simple solution.
If a string has one end, then it has another end.
If a tree fell on a florist, would he make a sound?
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
If anyone approaches with intent of doing you good, run.
If at 1st you don't succeed, call it Ver. 1
If at first you don't exceed, try, try again.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence.
If at first you don't succeed, don't be foolish, give up.
If at first you don't succeed, fall back and punt.
If at first you don't succeed, re-format.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
If at first you don't succeed, try something else.
If at first you don't succeed, you're doing average.
If at first you don't succeed; Blame everyone else.
If at first you doubt, doubt again.
If dolphins are so smart, why did Flipper work for TV?
If everybody knows such-and-such, then it just ain't so.
If everyone  thinks alike then somebody isn't thinking.
If facts do not conform to the theory, dispose of them.
If it ain't borken, don't fix it.
If it ain't cooked, don't serve it.
If it breaks make it bigger, if it sticks out chrome it.
If it feels good .... Do It.
If it is not there, it must be here, or it doesn't exist.
If it isn't true, at least it is a happy invention.
If it jams -- force it.  It needed replacing anyway.
If it screams, it's best not to eat it.
If it was easy, they'd send someone else.
If it wasn't for our lungs there wouldn't room for smog.
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
If it works, Don't fix it: Unless you are a consultant.
If it works, it must be obsolete.
If it works, rip it apart and find out why.
If it's more than you need, it's greed.
If it's not on fire, it's a software problem.
If it's not true, it's quite easily found.
If it's not worth doing, it's not worth doing well.
If it's true that truth is stranger than fiction, you must be truth!
If life is a highway... What's the Queensway?
If life is just a bowl of cherries, throwing pits is OK.
If life seems jolly rotten there's something you've forgotten!
If life's a stage, I want better lighting.
If men had to have babies they would only ever have one each.
If nobody measures up, it's time to check your yardstick.
If only we had some kind of missile!
If only we had some kind of missile, we could take the steam out of those bells.
If only youth knew, if only age could.
If people listened to themselves, they would shut up.
If picketing didn't exist some kids would never exercise.
If poverty is the mother of crime, stupidity is its father.
If reality wants to reach me, it knows where I am.
If sanity were dollars I'd be bankrupt.
If she returns from the john, will I be too old to care?
If speed scares you, use Windows.
If stupidity had survival value, he would live forever.
If the cops throw a net over me, am I legally in seine?
If the family skeleton must remain, make it dance.
If the people lead, the leaders will follow.
If there is an obvious solution it is always obvious.
If things improve with age, I'm nearly magnificent.
If this is a battle, then you have already lost.
If this isn't war, why is CNN massing on the border?
If this were an actual tagline, it could be funny.
If thou is a artist, how does one grasp your art?
If three people say you are an ass, put on a bridle.
If vegetarians eat vegetables,..beware of humanitarians!
If voting changed anything, it would be made illegal.
If we learn from losing, we become winners in the end.
If wishes were horses, horses would ride.
If wishes were money, beggars would be choosers.
If worst comes to worst, you *CAN* turn most things off.
If you always postpone pleasure you will never have it.
If you aren't part of a solution, you are a precipitate.
If you believe your own demagoguery, you have a problem.
If you bow at all, bow low.
If you can touch it and you can see it, it's real.
If you can't bite, don't try to show your teeth.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
If you can't dazzle with dexterity, feed them a crock.
If you can't do it now, you never will.
If you can't laugh at yourself, try laughing at others.
If you can't learn to do it well, enjoy doing it badly.
If you can't make it good, make it big.
If you can't make it work, make a statistic of it.
If you can't speak softly, just use the stick.
If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
If you can't stay healthy, find a sickness you like.
If you can't win fair, win foul.
If you cannot catch a bird of paradise, grab a wet hen.
If you continually give you will continually have.
If you didn't vote, no complaints about who's in or out.
If you do drink and drive you might as well smoke too.
If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
If you do nothing, how do you know when you're finished?
If you don't care where you are, then you can't get lost.
If you don't eat garlic, they'll never smell it on you.
If you don't fall down, you're not trying.
If you ever have an idea, try to go with it.
If you explain so that nobody misunderstands, some will.
If you find it, it is always in the last place you look.
If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!  
If you know the spelling of a word, you will err anyway.
If you learn from mistakes, you will learn a lot today.
If you lie to the computer, it will get you in the end.
If you like this one, wait until you hear my next story.
If you listen to fools the mob rules.
If you make a mistake, fix it to the best of your ability 
If you play with anything long enough it will break.
If you play with fire you get burnt.
If you pull the wings off a fly, does it become a walk?
If you push something hard enough, it will fall over.
If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually libe longer; it just seems longer.
If you search for the unknown, expect to be surprised.
If you take away the fuel, in time the flames will die.
If you take the plunge, return it by Tuesday.
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
If you think nobody cares, miss a couple of payments.
If you throw mud,  you will have dirty hands.
If you trust before you try, you may repent before you die.
If you try to be too sharp, you will cut yourself.
If you want my advice, pay me.
If you want someone to keep a secret, keep it yourself.
If you want the last word with a woman, apologize.
If you want to be happy, be.
If you want to hide your face, walk naked.
If you wish to succeed, consult three old people.
If you would keep a secret from an enemy, tell nobody.
If you're feeling good, don't worry.  You'll get over it.
If you're really a police dog, where's your badge?
If you're too old to learn, you were born so.
If your mind goes blank, remember to turn down the sound.
If your ship doesn't come in, it's time you swim out.
If your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
If youth only had a chance or old age any brains.
Ifyoucanreadthis,youspendtoomuchtimefiguringouttaglines.
Ignorance is temporary; stupid is forever.
Ignorance is the mother of superstition.
Ignore your health and it will go away.
Illegal aliens are an American problem.  Ask any Indian.
Illiterate?  Write for free help.
Illusionists fake it
Illusionists only look like they're doing it
Illustrate your Sermons! Wear far side ties.
Im so sorry do you want to go now?
Im sure that wont be long now
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
Imagination without learning is having wings but no feet.
Imelda Marcos: "If any shoe fits, buy it."
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable.
Important letters develop errors in the mail.
In Canada, even the female impersonators are women.
In Chicago it is important to vote early and often.
In DOS we trust.
In England there is only silence or scandal.
In God we trust, you pay in gold.
In a bus shelter
In a couple of days I think
In a family argument, if you are right apologize at once.
In a nutshell.  
In an iron coffin with spikes on the inside.
In case of atomic attack, prayer in schools will be OK.
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
In case of emergency, break glass, scream, bleed to death.
In charge of the team is Sergeant Major Harold Duke.
In charity there is no excess.
In data, the figure most obviously correct, is an error.
In fashion be a reed in the wind.
In for a penny, in for a pound.
In gambling and life if you don't play, you never win.
In human history, most leaders prove to be good bleeders.
In making decisions, recall that the trend is a friend.
In principles be a rock in the stream.
In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.
In that case I shall have to kill you.
In that room over there
In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
In the end gravity always wins. - Dolly Parton.
In the gay bar you motherfucker
In the name of King Arthur, open the door!
In this town we shoot first and ask questions later.
In this world a man must either be anvil or hammer.
In war and life, either fight to win or don't fight.
In war there is no substitute for victory.
In your own time.
Incest gets you involved with relatives.
Incorrigible punster -- do not incorrige.
Indecision is the only key to flexibility.
Indeed
Indiscriminate study bloats the mind.
Individualist does it with himself
Inductors dissipate after doing it
IneedsignificantlymoreroominthislineforwhatIwanttosay.
Infantrymen are ordered to do it
Infantrymen do it in the trench
Infectious disease researchers do it with breeding and culture
Infinity is a self-canceling thought form.
Inflation is a result of legalized counterfeiting.
Information is hard to get. Using it is even harder.
Information theorists analyze it with wiener filters
Injun? what's an Injun?
Innuendo can be fun.
Inquiring minds want to know.
Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your children.
Instant Human: Just add caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine.
Instinct is intelligence incapable of self-consciousness.
Insurance salesmen are premium lovers
Intelligence knows nothing about it
Interior decorators do it all over the house
International relations majors do it with diplomacy
Interpreters do it manually and orally
Introverts do it alone
Inventors find a way to do it
Investment analysts do it with security
Iraq shot down 38 Patriot Missiles with their SCUDS.
Iron sharpens iron; scholar, the scholar.
Irony: Giving father a billfold for Christmas.
Irregular verbs are on sale in the bargain basement.
Irregularity: Someone who comes to work late.
Irs does it everywhere
Irs does it to everyone
Is "Artery"  The study of fine paintings?
Is "Sue" a noun or a verb?
Is a  PC a symbol of Immaculate Contraption?
Is a Jamaican terminal a Rastafarian?
Is a WATCH OUT FOR CHILDREN sign a birth control ad?
Is evil a child of the nature or nurture of the beast?
Is it OK to yell 'MOVIE' in a crowded firehouse?
Is it dead?
Is it man or machine ?
Is it progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork?
Is it sunny
Is it.
Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves?
Is relativism the only absolute?
Is someone trying to tell you something?
Is that Pee Wee Herman in the Barney suit?
Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat?
Is that a fact?
Is this Heaven... No. Smell, its Iowa.
Is this drive really moving with my head parked?
Is this the machine talkin or Rich?
Is wetter REALLY better?
Is your name not Bruce?
Is, uh,...Is your wife a goer, eh?  
Is, your uh, is your wife a sport, ay?
Isn't it about time you backed up your system?
Isn't it nice that egotists don't talk about other people.
Isn't there a statute of limitations on stupidity?
It all hinges on your definition of 'a good time'.
It always rains right after I wax philosophical.
It automatically homes in on the nearest place of worship!
It can't be done!
It doesn't help to curse the darkness.
It doesn't matter if you win, it's the point spread.
It fascinates me the way that data can reform and still do the same thing while hiding from the virus checkers.
It has been discovered: research causes cancer in rats.
It is Fortune, not wisdom that rules man's life.
It is a long lane that has no turning.
It is a rather pleasant to be alone in a bank at night.
It is a sin peculiar to people to hate their victims.
It is always easier to destroy than to create.
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
It is beginning to be hinted that we are a nation of amateurs.
It is better to be the first with an ugly woman than the hundredth with a beauty.
It is better to be the widow of a hero than the wife of a coward.
It is better to be unfaithful than faithful without wanting to be.
It is better to burn out than to fade away.
It is better to copulate seldom rather than never.
It is better to drop your friends than your H's.
It is better to kiss an avocado than to kiss an aardvark.
It is better to know useless things than nothing.
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
It is dangerous to confuse children with angels.
It is double pleasure to deceive the deceiver.
It is easier to admire hard work if you don't do it.
It is easier to catch flies with honey than with vinegar.
It is easier to get an actor to be a cowboy than to get a cowboy to be an actor.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
It is easier to run down a hill than up one.
It is easy to be wise after the event.
It is easy to propose impossible remedies.
It is hard to believe that even his friends like him.
It is hard to discern when enough is enough + / = / - .
It is hereditary in my family to have no children.
It is meaningless to speak of domesticating a child.
It is not enough to succeed.  Others must fail. 
It is not only fine feathers that make fine birds.
It is often better to travel than to arrive.
It is often safer to be in chains than to be free.
It is only shallow people who don't judge by appearances.
It is possible to smell after you stop breathing.
It is so much better to live rich than to die rich.
It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
It is when you take for yourself that you truly take.
It looks like an optical illusion, but it isn't.
It matters not if you win or lose, it is what I do.
It never rains but it pours.
It provokes the desire, but takes away the performance.
It runs in the blood like wooden legs.
It sounds like you enjoy looking forward to yesterday.
It sucked.
It takes about 10 years to get used to how old you are.
It takes two to make a bargain.
It takes two to make a quarrel.
It takes two to tango.
It usually takes weeks to prepare an impromptu speech.
It was a dark and stormy night.
It was a night like this, 40 million years ago.
It was a tremendous success.
It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place.
It was dan the old nick, wunnit? You'd been abusing that margarine again.
It was no wonder people were so horrible when they started life as children.
It was so cold, I almost got married.
It was supposed to be so easy.
It was the best of lines, it was the worst of lines.
It will be done on time, if I can find the time.
It works better if you plug it in *AND THEN* turn it on.
It works for me.
It would have to be big to reach Aberdeen!
It'd be so anticlimactic.  
It's 11:56 pm. Do you know where your modem is?
It's 5PM and I'm all out of pithy things to say.
It's OK to wear the same thing every day: a smile.
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
It's a cheese shop, sir. 
It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta pawn it off on someone else.
It's a dog-eat-dog world, don't wear MilkBone underwear.
It's a fine line between fishing & standing still.
It's a good deed to forget a poor joke.
It's a nice name.
It's a poor cook who cannot lick his own fingers.
It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.
It's a poor workman who blames his tools.
It's a simple choice: Life, Death, or Los Angeles.
It's a tragedy that no man becomes like his mother.
It's ah, it's a bit runny.
It's all a matter of taste.
It's always darkest before you step on the cat.
It's amazing how mature wisdom resembles being tired.
It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
It's been a long time there, now, has it?
It's been nice meeting you, and nicer to see you leave.
It's better the world wonder why you *AREN'T* President.
It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese.
It's clever, but is it art?
It's easier to curse the candle than light the darkness.
It's easy to make a friend, hard to make a stranger.
It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
It's for the wife.
It's funny how one can go through life, as I have, disliking bananas and being indifferent to cheese, and then be able to eat, and enjoy, a banana and cheese sandwich like that.
It's got grit all over it.
It's hard to be humble when you're having so much fun.
It's hard to believe it, but some teens are humans.
It's hot enough to boil a monkey's bum in here, your Majesty
It's in the attic. 
It's just contradiction!
It's love that makes the world go round.
It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misappre'ension that they're birds.
It's my right as a man.
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
It's nice that people who love L.A. live there.
It's nice to be liked just the way you are.
It's nobody's business, not even mine.
It's not a very good name, is it?
It's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.
It's not if you win or lose. It's placing the blame.
It's not me!
It's not me,  it's just the way they dress me. 
It's not meant to be taken literally.
It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?
It's not over until the FAT table sings.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
It's not the bats that worry me - it's the bank manager!
It's often cheaper to be forgotten than remembered.
It's okay to call someone stupid; just don't prove it.
It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a.
It's only a model.
It's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned.
It's our number one best seller, sir!
It's perfectly ordinary banter, Squiffy.
It's so bad, it may turn my hair dark.
It's stupid to continue doing what doesn't work.
It's the kind of thing that makes people go "Hmmmmmm.."
It's typed.
It's what inside you, not the outside that counts.
It`s clever, but is it art?
Italians do it better {k}
Its hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember a thing.
Its no use trying to be clever. Just try to be kind.
Its not the size of the ship, its the size of the waves.
Its not the thing you fling, its the fling itself.
Its turning into our lane! well, you better go put it out of it's misery.
Ive got a big cock and lots of money
Ive got loads
Ive got loads of something
Ivo Andric - Yugoslavia's First Nobel Laureate.
J'suis le Grand Zombie.
Janitors clean up afterwards
Janitors do it with a plunger
Japanese Sage Darby?
Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
Jedi knights do it forcefully
Jerk!
Jesus Saves, Johnson scores on the rebound.
Jewellers mount real gems
Jews worry about doing it
Jockeys do it at the gate
Jockeys do it on the horse-back
Jockeys do it with their horses
Jockeys do it with whips and saddles
Joggers do it on the run
John Stewart Mill, of his own free will, after half a pint of shanty was particularly ill.
Join Taglines Anonymous.  We can help.
Join hands across the seas.  Stop continental drift.
Jolly good. Fire away.
Journalists do it write
Judge not a carpenter on how fast the chips fly.
Judge not, lest ye be judged incompetent by the world. 
Judges do it in chambers
Judges do it with better rulings
Judges watch it and give scores
Judicial reform is no sport for the short-winded.
Jugglers do it in a flash
Jugglers do it with more balls
Jugglers do it with their balls in the air
Jury: A group chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
Jury: Twelve people too dumb t get out of jury duty.
Just Vaseline.
Just a minute, I've seen you before.
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
Just browsing?
Just cannot resist a little fun along the way.  :-)
Just got a new car for my wife... Great trade.
Just had a chat with your dad.
Just how witchy are you?
Just my opinion (But I'm right).
Just now.
Just pull the plug out of the wall.
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing!
Just remember that the last laugh is on you!
Just remember:  when in doubt, you're always right.
Just say goodnight
Just send my paycheck to MasterCard or VISA.
Just short back and sides.
Just the five minutes.
Just there?  
Just want to add my two cents worth, for what it's worth.
Just what I always wanted to know
Just what I wanted, 'ow nice of you to remember, my pet.
Just when I make ends meet, someone moves one end.
Just when I've found the answer, you change the question.
Just when you think it's hopelessly broken, it works.
Justice delayed is justice denied.
Justice is incidental to law and order.
Justice: A decision in your favor.
KENNEDY COMPOUND -KEEP OUT- TRESPASSERS MAY BE VIOLATED!
Kayakers do it rapidly, then roll over and do it again 
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Keep cool, stand in front of an open refrigerator.
Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.
Keep grandma off the streets -- legalize bingo.
Keep hands off the secretary's reproducing equipment.
Keep your eyes open before marriage, half-shut afterwards 
Keep your mouth shut and your eyes open.
Kernel panic: Nut lose in operator's chair.
Keyboard not connected, press <F1> to continue.
Keyboardists use all their fingers
Keyboardists use both their hands on one organ
Kibitzer: A person with an interferiority complex.
Kids? Who said anything about kids?
Kill not the goose that lays the golden egg.
Kin:  An affliction of the blood.
Kindergarten Rules: Be kind. Be safe. Be protective.
Kiss me
Kiss my ASCII.
Kissing don't last; cookery do.
Kleptomaniac: A rich thief.
Knew she would.  
Know any decent jokes?
Know whatahmean, know whatahmean, nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more?
Know when to fight and when to run.
Knowledge rests not on truth alone, but upon error also.
Korfball players do it with the other sex
LAMA=priest.  LLAMA=beast.  LLLAMA=conflagration.
LOTTERY: Just a tax on people who are bad at math.
Lack of planning does not constitute an emergency.
Lady with chastity belt is not having a ball.
Lancashire?
Landlords do it every month
Landscapers plant it deeper
Language is a human virus from outer space.
Lasciate ogni speranza voi ch'entrate.
Laser printers do it without making an impression
Last week I even forgot how to ride a bicycle.
Latest conspiracy theory:  Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
Laughter is the best lubricant for life's engine.
Laundry: A place where clothes are mangled.
Law of Window Cleaning:  It's always on the other side.
Laws are like sausages, it is better to not see them made.
Lawyers do it in their briefs
Lawyers do it on a table
Lawyers do it on a trial basis
Lawyers do it to you
Lawyers do it with appeal
Lawyers do it with clause
Lawyers do it with extensions in their briefs
Lawyers do it, which is a great pity
Lawyers lie about doing it and charge you for believing them
Lawyers would do it but for 'hung jury'
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.
Lawyers: the larval form of politicians.
Le mieux est l'ennemi du bien.
Lead me not to temptation, I enjoy finding it myself.
Leakproof seals, will. Quiet toilets, aren't.
Lean books are often larded with fat of others' works.
Leaping from tree to tree!
Learn to splel, danmit!
Learn to type!
Learning makes people fit company for themselves.
Learning without thought is labor lost.
Least said soonest mended.
Left handers do it right
Left lane must turn right. 
Legal marijuana needs true glaucoma patients.
Leicester.
Leisure is the mother of philosophy.
Lend money to a bad debtor and he will hate you.
Length of an average blink: 0.1 second.
Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
Let art alone. She's got enough guys sleeping with her.
Let bygones be bygones.
Let he who takes a Monday plunge return it by Tuesday.
Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it.
Let length(walk) > length(pier)
Let me know if this message doesn't get through to you.
Let me out of here fast. TRON is catching up.
Let no good deed go unpunished.
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Let that be a warning to you all.
Let the rain fall, and fall, and fall.
Let your mouth write no check that your tail can't cash.
Let's go out the back
Let's have a little fun, let's do a pun.
Let's have some new cliches.
Let's see your tagline hunting permit, sir.
Let's win this one and go home.
Lets keep genealogy vital.
Liberal tagline: friends don't let friends make up their own mind.
Librarians do it by the book
Librarians do it on the shelfs
Librarians do it quietly
Lick my cling ons you Essex bitch
Life begins at forty.
Life can be profitable, if you know the odds.
Life has a great deal up its sleeve.
Life is a cabaret, old Chum.
Life is a kind of trick.
Life is a series of rude awakenings.
Life is a tragedy for feelers and a comedy for thinkers.
Life is a yo-yo, and mankind ties knots in the string.
Life is an onion and each one peels it crying.
Life is full of little surprises. - Pandora.
Life is just a bowl of chili, but no beans for you.
Life is like Jazz, it should be improvised.
Life is like......an analogy.
Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards.
Life is much easier if you look at the source code.
Life is not a spectacle or a feast, it is a predicament.
Life is one long process of getting tired.
Life is something that happens when you can't sleep.
Life is still in Beta test.
Life is to you a dashing and bold adventure.
Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.
Life is unsure, always eat your dessert first.
Life is...life is...life is...life is a kumquat.
Life might be easier if we had the source code.
Life would be so very easy if we only had the source code.
Life!  Can't live with it, can't live without it.
Life's a beach and still you always marry one.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it.
Life: You peel layer after layer, you find nothing in it.
Lifeguards carry aids.
Lifeguards do it on the beach
Lifeguards use slow, smooth hands
Lifeguards use unique entries.
Like a carbuncle on the face of an old and valued friend.
Like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.
Like father, like son.
Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone.
Likes games, eh?  
Line noise?  What fh=.hElL is.LinS nfise?
Linemen do it with big cables
Linemen pull their wires
Linguists do it with their tongues
Lions do it with pride
Lipta?
Lisp hackers are thweet
Lisp hackers do it in lambda functions
Lisp hackers do it with rplacd
Lisp programmers do it by recursion
Lisp programmers do it without unexpected side effects
Lisp programmers have to stop and collect garbage
Listen!  I said one more time...mate and I'll take you to the fucking cleaners.
Little boats should keep near the shore.
Little pitchers have wide ears.
Live and learn.
Live better, electrically.
Live long and suffer  - ancient Vulcan curse.
Live so that the family parrot can live afterwards.
Live: Know the past, help the present, touch the future.
Living in the fast lane gets you to the other end rapidly.
Living on earth is better than loafing around Hades.
Living: The best demonstration of victory over mortality.
Loadmaster 'chute bigger loads
Loans officers do it with security
Locksmiths can get into anything
Logic is a wreath of pretty flowers with a very bad odor.
Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence.
Logic is logic. That's all I say.
Logic programmers do it with unification/resolution
Logicians do it consistently and completely
Logicians do it or they do not do it
Long distance runners last longer
Long jumpers do it with a running start
Long live The Great Electronic Underground.
Long-distance runners do it on a predetermined route
Look after molehills mountains will look after themselves 
Look at all the Indians.
Look before you leap.
Look butt face, shut and listen!
Look into his eyes, and see if someone else is driving.
Look into yourself to discover your first priority.
Look out for barking dogs that bite.
Look out.  Behind you.
Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position!
Look, if you intend by that utilisation of an obscure colloquialism to imply that my sanity is not up to scratch
Look, it's people like you what cause unrest.
Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Look.  A flying porpoise.
Looking for a good time?  Call Troi at 1-900-NCC-1701
Looks Great.
Looks like a penguin.
Losing weight: the triumph of mind over platter.
Losing your drivers' license is God saying "Walk!"  
Lost gold may be found, time lost is gone forever.
Lost interest? It`s so bad I`ve lost apathy.
Lots hackers do it sloooooooowwwwwwwwllllllllyyyyyyyy
Lots of it.
Lotus executives do not wear Look & Feel T shirts.
Louisianans do it differently {l}
Love -- a grave mental disease.
Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies.
Love conquers all things except poverty and toothaches.
Love is being stupid together.
Love is blind, to everything except fat.
Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.
Love is in the offing. Be affectionate to who adores you.
Love is like a baseball game, four balls and you walk.
Love is like a baseball game, three strikes you're out.
Love is of chemistry, sex is of physics.
Love is sentimental measles.
Love means never having to say you're sorry.
Love the sea?  I dote upon it - from the beach.
Love thy neighbor ... just never get caught.
Love truth but pardon error.
Love yoo too
Love your enemies -- it makes them so damned mad.
Lunatic asylum: where optimism most flourishes.
Lurkers of the world unite!
Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at three o'clock in the 
Luxury: Costs $7.69 to make and $20.00 to market.
MODEM - Monumentally Overpriced Data Eating Machine.
MS-DOS is CP/M on steroids.
MSDOS is a boot sector virus.
Mac programmers do it in windows
Mac screen message: "Like, dude, something went wrong."
Mac users do it with mice
Mac users don't do it, they just point and click on the genital icon
MacIntosh:Computer with training wheels you can't remove.
Machine coders do it in bytes
Machine language programmers do it very fast
Machine-independent program: Will not run on any machine.
Machinists do it with screw drivers
Machinists drill often
Machinists make the best screws
Mad, bad and dangerous to know.
Mad: Affected with a lot of intellectual independence.
Madam, an error, we did a hysterectomy on your husband
Madness takes a toll make sure you have the exact change.
Madre que consiente engorda una serpiente.
Mages do it with their familiars
Magic users do it with their hands
Magic users have crystal balls
Magic users have magic wands
Magicians are quicker than the eye
Magicians do it with mirrors
Magicians do it with rabbits
Mailmen do it at the mail boxes
Maintainer's Motto: If we can't fix it, it ain't broke.
Maintenance men sweep 'em off their feet
Make a wish, it might come true.
Make new friends but keep the old. Like silver and gold.
Make two grins grow where there was only a grouch before.
Malice is merely stupidity raised to a higher power.
Malingerers do it as long as they can't get out of it
Man and wife make one fool.
Man is a fool, always wanting what is not.
Man is a piece of the universe made alive.
Man is the bad child of the universe.
Man is the missing link between apes and human beings.
Man is the only animal that blushes, or needs to.
Man is the only creature that consumes without producing.
Man loves little and often, woman much and rarely.
Man partly is and wholly hopes to be.
Man's inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn.
Man, born of woman is of few days; full of trouble.
Man: There is nothing more miserable and more arrogant.
Man`s horizons are bounded by his vision.
Managers do it by delegation
Managers have someone do it for them
Managers make others do it
Managers supervise others
Managing programmers is like herding cats.
Maniac: He who leaves Maine.  Mainer: he who stays.
Manners cost nothing.
Manuals come out, after all possible keystrokes fail.
Many a family tree needs trimming.
Many are absent from reality physically and/or mentally.
Many errors. Bad Blocks. Etc.
Many foxes grow gray, but few grow good.
Many hands make light work.
Many kiss the hand that they wish they could bite off.
Many possess the wisdom of many and only the wit of one.
Many receive advice, only the wise profit from it.
Many would be cowards if they had courage enough to be so 
Marathon runners do it for hours
Marines do it on land, sea or air
Marketing is simply sales with a college education.
Marketing reps do it on comission
Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence.
Marriage makes a life of deception a necessity.
Marriage, a romance but the hero dies in the 1st chapter.
Marriage, is a lifelong venture, approached with caution.
Marriages are based on believing you won the arguments.
Married people do it with frozen access
Married politicians do it to wife and country.
Married.. Who me ?  ... I can't mate in captivity.
Mars needs women, apply at NASA.
Mary had a little lamb, a little beef, a little ham.
Mary had potatoes, wine, salad, and a little lamb.
Masons do it secretively
Master debaters often argue with themselves.
Match makers do it with singles
Match makers do it with sticks
Math illiteracy affects eight of every five people.
Math majors do it by example
Math majors do it by induction
Math majors do it with a pencil
Mathematicians do it as a finite sum of an infinite series
Mathematicians do it as continuous function
Mathematicians do it associatively
Mathematicians do it commutatively
Mathematicians do it constantly
Mathematicians do it continuously
Mathematicians do it discretely
Mathematicians do it exponentially
Mathematicians do it forever if they can do one and can do one more
Mathematicians do it functionally
Mathematicians do it homologically
Mathematicians do it in fields
Mathematicians do it in groups
Mathematicians do it in imaginary domain
Mathematicians do it in imaginary planes
Mathematicians do it in numbers
Mathematicians do it in theory
Mathematicians do it on smooth contours
Mathematicians do it over and under the curves
Mathematicians do it parallel and perpendicular
Mathematicians do it partially
Mathematicians do it rationally
Mathematicians do it reflexively
Mathematicians do it symmetrically
Mathematicians do it to prove themselves
Mathematicians do it to their limits
Mathematicians do it totally
Mathematicians do it transcendentally
Mathematicians do it transitively
Mathematicians do it variably
Mathematicians do it with a minkowski sausage
Mathematicians do it with imaginary parts
Mathematicians do it with linear pairs
Mathematicians do it with nobel's wife
Mathematicians do it with odd functions
Mathematicians do it with prime roots
Mathematicians do it with relations
Mathematicians do it with rings
Mathematicians do it with their real parts
Mathematicians do it without limit
Mathematicians do over an open unmeasurable interval
Mathematicians have to prove they did it
Mathematicians prove they did it
Mathematicians take it to the limit
Matrimony is the root of all evil.
Matrimony isn't a word, it's a sentence.
May the force be with you.
May we kiss those we please, and please those we kiss.
May you live all the days of your life.
May your Gakh never wonder off your plate.
Maybe you're correct being nervous now.
Maytag is my middle name: I'm an agitator.
McBorg's -- over half a billion assimilated.
Mds only do it if you have appropriate insurance
Me
Me and my two friends... GIF and Wesson.
Me too. It had carrot in it.
Meaningless tagline attached to pointless message.
Measured in what units?
Mechanical engineering majors do it in gear
Mechanical engineers do it automatically
Mechanical engineers do it with fluid dynamics
Mechanical engineers do it with stress and strain
Mechanics do it from underneath
Mechanics do it on their backs
Mechanics do it with oils
Mechanics do it with their tools
Mechanics have to jack it up and then do it
Medical researchers do it with a mice
Medical researchers make mice do it first
Medical staff: A physician's cane.
Medics do it in an orderly fashion
Medievalists do it with fake, fluffy weapons
Meester, do you vant to buy a duck?
Meetings are indispensable for doing nothing.
Megahertz--when something is really painful.
Memoirs are the backstairs of history.
Memories keep the wolf of insignificance from the door.
Memory Manager:  Something I need more than my computer.
Memory is the second thing to go during the human story..
Memory overload error noted ... Meltdown now evident.
Memory seems to go first, or second, or ...
Men are but children of a larger growth.
Men are creatures with two legs and eight hands.
Men are more sentimental than women. It blurs their minds 
Men avoid attributing cleverness to others unless enemies 
Men call us birds because we pick up worms.
Men come of age at sixty, women at fifteen.
Men die and worms eat them - but not for love.
Men know life too early, women too late.
Men may come and men may go, but I go on for ever.
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
Men, in general, are but overgrown children.
Mental Floss: In one ear and out the other.
Mental floss might prevent moral decay. 
Menu:  A list of meals the restaurant has just run out of 
Menu: List of dishes which the restaurant has run out of.
Mercedes
Merchants do it to customers
Mermaids can't do it
Message brought to you by sufficient coffee indigestion.
Message sent. Destroy immediately upon receipt.
Metallurgists are screw'n edge
Metallurgists do it in the street
Metaphors be with you.
Meteorologists do it at all levels
Meteorologists do it unpredictably
Meteorologists do it with forecasts
Methodists do it by numbers
Microbiologists do it with culture
Microsoft Windows - proof that P.T. Barnum was correct.
Midas was into golden showers.
Middle age: When your age starts to show at your middle.
Military cooks eat it
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Military truckers do it bigger, faster and further
Military truckers move bigger loads
Milkmen deliver twice a week
MilliHelen: Beauty required to launch one ship.
Millionaires pay to have it done
Milton berle does it in his bvds
Mimes do it without a sound
Mimes don't do it; everyone hates a mime
Mind if we call you "Bruce" to keep it clear?
Mind your own bleedin' business
Mind your own business
Minding your own business will not be tolerated.
Minds, like parachutes, work only when open.
Mine's a pint of best bitter then!
Miners do it deeper than divers
Miners sink deeper shafts
Mines a double vodka
Ministers do it on sundays
Ministers do it vicariously
Minnie and Mickey Mouse are slow maze learners.
Minor operation.  What workers do in a coal mine.
Mischief all comes from too much opening of the mouth.
Misery brings strange bedfellows.
Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.
Misfortune:  The kind of fortune that never misses.
Misfortunes always enter any door left open for them.
Misinformation is the cruelest computer virus of all.
Missile engineers do it in stages
Missilemen have better thrust
Misspelled?  No way!  I use an error-correcting modem.
Mistakes are often the stepping stones to total failure.
Mistakes at least show someone did something at sometime.
Misteaching: Telling one's grandmother how to suck eggs.
Mister Wensleydale, that's my name.
Mister!  Here's your mule.
Mistrust first impulses, they are always good.
Mm, boy, this is fun, this is good fun.
Mobius strippers never show you their back side
Models do it beautifully
Models do it in any position
Models do it with all kinds of fancy dresses on
Modem manufacturers do it with all sorts of characters
Modem sex begins with a handshake.
Modem: Deterrent to receiving wanted and unwanted calls.
Modems.....reach out and BYTE someone.
Moderation in all things should be practiced sparingly.
Moderation is a fatal thing.
Modern poets mix too much water with their ink. -Goethe
Modesty died when false modesty was born.
Modesty is a good bait when fishing for praise.
Molecular biologists do it with hot probes
Mommy!  The cursor's winking at me!
Mommy, why does that moon have a crack?
Monday's child is fair of face.
Monday:  The day after the football game.
Money
Money can't buy happiness, but allows a choice of misery.
Money is a good aphrodisiac. Flowers work almost as well.
Money is an excellent servant, but a horrible master.
Money is like an arm or leg - use it or lose it.
Money is round, it rolls away.
Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.
Money is the root of all wealth.
Money is the sinews of both love and war.
Money is truthful.  Men who speak of honor must pay cash.
Money talks, but all mine ever says is "Goodbye."
Money: A mint makes it first and we try to make it last.
Monks do it by hand
Monologue: A conversation between realtor and prospect.
Monotheism is a gift from the gods.
Moonies do it within sects
Morality is a private and costly luxury.
Morbid: The next higher offer at an auction.
More haste, less speed.
More ways of killing a cat than choking her with cream.
Morning after pill for men - it changes your blood type.
Morning, Squadron Leader.
Morticians do it gravely
Mosquito: Designed by God to make flies seem better.
Most allies must be watched just like the enemy.
Most certainly!  Now then, some cheese please, my good man.
Most certainly. 
Most family trees have several branches best forgotten.
Most free items find an eager waiting user.
Most great discoveries start with making a mistake.
Most weight lifters are biceptual.
Most women are not so young as they are painted.
Most wonderful ideas are so obvious that they're not.
Mother Nature erred: Leaves should fall up.
Mother nature is a bitch.
Mothers do it with their children
Motorcyclists do it between cars
Motorcyclists do it in sidecars
Motorcyclists do it two-up
Motorcyclists do it while leaning
Motorcyclists do it with spread legs
Motorcyclists like it with chains
Motorcyclists like something hot between their legs
Motorcyclists need a sidestand
Motoxers do it in the dirt
Mountain climbers do it on the rocks
Mountain climbers do it till they drop
Mountain climbers do it with ropes
Mountains culminate in peaks, and nations in people.
Movement To Ban Silly Tag Lines; Send donations to:
Movie stars do it on film
Mozarella,
Mr. Bullfrog sez:  Time is fun when you're having flies.
Mr. Worf!  Eating Christmas Cookies, on my bridge?
Mud slinging politicians clod their way to the top.
Mudders do it over the internet
Multitaskers do it everywhere: concurrently
Multitasking allows screwing up several things at once.
Murphy was an optimist.
Murphy's Law: If anything can go wrong, it will.
Music hackers do it at 3 am
Music hackers do it audibly
Music hackers do it in concert
Music hackers do it in scores
Music hackers do it with more movements
Music hackers do it with their organs
Music hackers want to do it in realtime
Music is the only sensual pleasure without vice.
Music majors do it in a chord
Musicians do it in the practice room
Musicians do it on a higher scale
Musicians do it rhythmically
Musicians do it with rhythm
Musicians duet
Musicians know how to blow
Must answer me
Must go - My attack cat needs her claws filled.
Must go lunch is ready then I have to get some kip
My Go this  amn keyboar  oesn't have any  's.
My Karma is my own business you silly witch!
My best taglines are in for repair!  This one's a loaner.
My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R.
My brain is my second favorite organ.
My brain is my second favourite organ.
My complements to your doctor, the lobotomy scars barely show!
My computer has EMS....Wont you help?
My ex-wife got the gold mine, but I got the shaft.
My family tree is in the forest, somewhere! 
My genes are so tight, they may stay with me forever. 
My hard disk went on a diet and lost it's FAT.
My hog sweats less than you do!
My house is empty tonight, I'll be all alone, do yer wanna join me.  I'll cook you dinner?
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
My leg got caught in my trousers and that's how the bottle broke.
My life is in danger.
My life is not organized around high probability events.
My life is still in BETA test.
My mail reader can beat up your mail reader.
My mind ain't so open that anything can crawl right in.
My mind is like a blotter: Soaks it up, gets it backwards 
My mind.  I can feel it.  I can feel it going. Goodbye.
My mother said I was a fool!
My name is Roger the Shrubber.
My name is Ross
My name seems to be "xxx-xx-xxxx" what's yours?
My nose is huge!
My opinions are not those of my ex-employer.
My opinions expressed above are not necessarily mine.
My other car is a Galaxy Class Starship, need a ride?
My other computer is a Cadillac.
My other tagline is a footnote.
My penis
My place
My pleasure.
My poor mouse only has one ball.
My profession?  Does the word "peon" mean anything to you 
My reality check just bounced.
My twit filter just put me on its twit List.
My widget is better than yours simply because it's MINE.
My word yes!
My, Aren't you a corn fed cherub!
Myth-conceptions are the major cause of wars.
Mythology: Invented lies for future consumption.
NAK NAK  who's there?  ^A!@#$%^B&*()^Z NO CARRIER.
NAK NAK... Who's there?
NEVER moon a police officer who has a polearm.
Nah Fortran
Nah doll
Nail file
Nam homo proponit, sed Deus disponit.
Native amazonians do it with poison tips down along narrow tubes -
Native americans do it with reservations
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
Nature, like people, sometimes weeps for gladness.
Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed.
Navigators can show you the way
Naw, naw, naw!
Necessity is a mother.
Necrophiliacs do it cryptically
Necrophiliacs do it until they are dead tired
Nein
Neither a borrower nor a lender be.
Neither do I. Are you paranoid? And don't be evasive.
Nerds do it in rot13
Nervous: Asking what wine goes well with fingernails.
Network hackers know how to communicate
Network management is like trying to herd cats.
Network managers do it in many places at once
Network?  I'm retired, I don't do no work never.
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
Never agree with me, it shakes my self confidence.
Never appeal to his better nature.  He may not have one.
Never argue with a skunk, mule, female, or a SysOp.
Never be led astray onto the path of virtue.
Never borrow trouble, the interest is entirely too high.
Never buy a software package bigger than your head.
Never call a man a fool, instead, borrow from him.
Never cut down an Ironwood Tree to build your life raft.
Never despair.  If you do, you will work on into despair.
Never do things by halves.
Never do today what you can delegate tomorrow.
Never drink from your finger bowl, it contains only water 
Never eat anything larger than your head.
Never eat prunes when you're famished.
Never feed your cat anything that clashes with the carpet!
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Never have children, but always have grandchildren.
Never have children, only grandchildren.
Never hit a man with glasses.  Use your fist.
Never invest in anything that eats or needs painting.
Never judge a cover by its book.
Never judge from appearances.
Never lean forward to push an invisible object.
Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
Never make a defence or apology before you be accused.
Never mind the dog, beware of the owner & fecal deposits.
Never miss a good opportunity to shut your face.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely.
Never say "oops."
Never sell the bear's skin until you've killed the beast.
Never settle for less than your best.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
Never speak ill of the dead.
Never take a beer to a job interview.
Never tell a lie, unless lying is your strongest point.
Never tell them what you wouldn't want to do.
Never test for a condition you don't know how to handle.
Never think of the future.  It comes too soon regardless.
Never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.
Never too late to learn.
Never trust a skinny cook.
Never trust a smiling wolf to tend your sheep.
Never trust anyone who speaks well of everyone.
Never try this stunt on your own PC.
Never try to out stubborn a cat.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Never wear a Big Mac suit while next to George Foreman.
Never, never, never *MOON* a werewolf !!
Never, never, never *MOON* a werewolf.
New users do it after reading the helpfile
New users do it after receiving advice
New yorkers do it in a jam
New-Bruce, are you a Poofter?
Newspaper boys do it in front of every door
Nice breasts
Nice computers don't crash.
Nice computers don't go down.
Nice guys finish last.
Nice haircut...
Nice one
Nice tits
Nice weather here then
Nickel: Once good for getting the wrong number with.
Nihilism should commence with oneself.
Nike just does it
Nine-bladed.  
Ninety percent of inspiration is perspiration.
Nitrate: The motel rate for a stay of more than two hours 
No
No Commander, I meant the OTHER battleship.
No I don't smoke
No I like kippers
No I must go myself.
No I've only got a pack of three on me
No That's about as old as my gran
No answer is also an answer.
No bachelor files for divorce after a home-cooked meal.
No battle plan has ever survived contact with the enemy.
No but I want to!
No but I'll cook you some later at my house.
No chance but you can have some garlic bread
No condo, no MBA, no BMW, no 486, no clever tagline.
No decorations necessary.
No facts are sacred, none are profane.
No furniture so charming as books.
No generalization is wholly true, not even this one.
No have you?
No job is too simple nor too small to make a mess out of. 
No longer will food be damaged, crushed or squashed by the ignorance and stupidity of the driver!
No man can serve two masters, yes-men can serve hundreds.
No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar 
No man is a hero to his valet.
No man is infallible.
No matter how large that drive is, it'll never be enough. 
No matter.  
No medicine can cure a vulgar person.
No names, no pack-drill.
No nation was ever ruined by trade.
No need to be leading to have the courage to go ahead.
No no don't tell me.   
No not really, My electricity was cut off yesterday and my sun dial doesn't work at night for some reason. What time is it?
No one can think clearly with clenched fists.
No one does as much harm as one going about doing good.
No one ever suddenly became depraved.
No one gossips about others secret virtues.
No one is so happy or sad as he imagines.
No one should hide their true self behind a false face.
No one should test the depth of a river with both feet.
No one wants advice - only corroboration.
No parking in the red zone.
No people do so much harm as those who go about doing good.
No person ever became wicked all at once.
No person is lonely while eating spaghetti.
No person should govern another without their permission.
No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away 
No sense being pessimistic.  It wouldn't work anyway.
No sir.  
No sod off
No tax collector will ever enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
No thanks I'm washing my hair
No that was left over from my last visit
No wanna work.  Wanna bang on keyboard.
No way!
No way, that program's a real stinker!
No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating.
No woman should imitate men.  Men are not worth it.
No wonder can last more than three days.
No you didn't!
No you haven't!
No you may not!
No you won't
No you!!
No young man believes he shall ever die.
No!
No, I don't know what "apathy" means, nor do I care.
No, I don't understand that banter at all.
No, I haven't', actually.  
No, I'm not just another extended character.
No, Im not blobby!
No, Taco Bell is not the Mexican telephone company.
No, because the last time I used it, the damned thing cracked...7 years bad programming luck.
No, boars are never chauvinists.
No, but I can do!
No, but I got a big dick!
No, but you can pack my fudge
No, honey
No, it's Michael.
No, just every other one
No, no - but it's not at all well, so as we were going to be on the safe side.
No, no, it's just the way she's holding the grapefruit.
No, not at all.
No, not really - I'm having a quick look at most of the regular BBS's before I go out to watch Maverick at the flicks!
No, sir.
No, thankyou, I was born intoxicated.
No, that's fine.
No, this is a real live human being you are chatting with, Rene.
No, this is my first time.
No, we just don't like it.  
No, you can't read my writing.
No, you shouldn't do that - no, that's dangerous.  
No.
No.  
No.  Never.  He was a smashing bloke.  
No. I went to Eton
No. Right, I just want to remind you of the faculty rules:
No. have you?
Noble deeds that are concealed are most esteemed.
Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
Nobody can be just like me. Even I have trouble.
Nobody could ever learn ALL of WordPerfect!
Nobody else knows what to do either.
Nobody ever bet too much on a winning horse.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Nobody has ever learned all of WordPerfect.
Nobody home but the lights, and they're out too.
Nobody is as deaf as those who will not to hear.
Nobody notices when things go right, I'm always noticed.
Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
Nobody's seen it all.
Node: Was aware of.  The past tense of "know." 
Non omnia possumus omnes.
Non-fiction often is more unrealistic than fiction.
Non-smokers do it without huffing and puffing
None at all.
None but a coward dares to boast that he has never known fear.
None but a mule denies his genealogy.
None but the brave deserves the fair.
None can desire what he has not perceived.
Nope
Nope, I live 'ere.
Nope, fancy a shag?
Nope. Why are you hungry?
Normally, sir, yes.  
Nosey bastard aren't you?
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Not 'round here, sir.
Not Ready Error reading user's mind.
Not a lot!
Not a real tagline, but an incredible soy substitute.
Not a sausage.
Not a scrap.  
Not all bugs are worth fixing.
Not bad 
Not everything in life is funny.
Not everything more difficult is more meritorious.
Not much call? It's the single most popular cheese in the world!
Not now ... I have to go mow the laundry.
Not really, but you have to laugh
Not really, sir.
Not the hard chocolate top, I'm afraid.
Not to know is bad, but not to wish to know is worse.
Not today, sir, no.
Not two.
Not very nice, are you?
Not worth just looking?
Nothing artificial here mate - I am really intelligent :)
Nothing astonishes like common sense and plain dealing.
Nothing can go wrong...go wrong...go wro*%$@# NO CARRIER.
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
Nothing grows well in the shade of a big tree.
Nothing in this world is certain but DOS and taxes.
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Nothing is ever constant, unless it is dead.
Nothing is ever foolproof.  They are always so ingenious.
Nothing is foolproof, idiots are too ingenious.
Nothing is impossible for he who doesn't have to do it.
Nothing is more believed as that known least by the most.
Nothing is sacred!
Nothing is so good that somebody will not hate it.
Nothing is so smiple that it can't get screwed up.
Nothing is true, everything is permitted.
Nothing is very funny when you're underneath it.
Nothing is wrong with you that reincarnation can't cure.
Nothing like a good glass of Chateau de Chassilier wine, ay Gessiah?
Nothing really obnoxious ever totally disappears.
Nothing recedes like success.
Nothing succeeds like failure.
Nothing unites the English like war.
Nothing works, and nobody cares.
Nothing's more dangerous than a mind with a solitary idea 
Notice: All incoming fire has the right of way.
Novices do it with instructions
Now I call upon Bruce to officially welcome Mr. Baldwin to the philosophy faculty.
Now and then an honest person goes into politics.
Now is the time for all good men to come to.
Now let's get one thing perfectly clear: I most definitely told you!
Now may be an excellent time to become a missing person.
Now that would be nice!
Now where can you find one, nicer than this?
Now would I do a thing like that? You know I'm a nice bloke really.
Now your getting to know me!
Now... where did I park that hard disk?
Nowadays even some illiterates can read and write.
Nuclear Weapons:  May they rust in peace.
Nuclear engineers do it hotter than anything else
Nuclear submarine's major problem: Whale mating season.
Nudists are people who wear one-button suits.
Nukes do it with more power
Number theorists do it "69"
Nuns do it out of habit
Nurses call the shots
Nurses do it painless
Nurses do it with care
Nurses do it with intensive care
Nurses do it with tlc
O oysters come and walk with us, the walrus did beseech.
O.K I'll come, in both senses of the word!
O.K see ya bitch
O.k. see you later
O.k., you've got ten bob.
OBLIGATO -- being forced to practice the piano.
OFF-line mail make sysops happy.
OIC What are yer written in?
OK have fun with me
OK see you in the car park at 11
OK then
OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to be eccentric.
Oarsmen stroke till it hurts
Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.
Obsessive-compulsive people do it habitually
Oceanographers do it down under
October; When trees change from hirsuties to bald pates.
Of all forms of caution, cautious love is the most fatal.
Of all the people I have met, you are certainly one.
Of all thirty-six alternatives, ignoring it is best.
Of all wild beasts, a boy is the most difficult to tame.
Of course
Of course I can cook, but I never do it on the first date 
Of course I tessssted it.
Of course, sir.  
Off by CRASHING COMPUTER. Time Logged:  ^D!@#$%^(*&^%^Z.
Often the test of courage is not to die but to live.
Oh - it wasn't dead, then?
Oh Lord, we beseech Thee, Amen!!
Oh captain! my captain! our fearful trip is done.
Oh come on!
Oh could I fly, I'd fly with thee.
Oh dear, Mr Interesting 1994?
Oh dear, that's the bit I liked.
Oh don't grovel!
Oh don't put yourself down you probably have many good qualities
Oh heavens no.
Oh just fuck off will you
Oh look, this isn't an argument!
Oh no stop my sides ides are hurting
Oh no!  Not another expensive update.
Oh no, I'm afraid not, sir.
Oh no, not deja-vu again. Oh no, not deja-vu again. Oh no 
Oh right. Was it for a Grattans catalogue?
Oh shut up 
Oh sorry
Oh that?  I was playing leap frog with a unicorn.
Oh war. Thou son of Hell.
Oh well I'll shut up then, shall I?
Oh well, all right.
Oh well, half of one, six dozen of the other.
Oh what a shame!
Oh yes, there he is behind the tree now.
Oh!  
Oh! The very words of the garage mechanic in Bude!
Oh, But we are nice! And we will attend to your every, every need!
Oh, Hello Bruce!
Oh, I don't think so.
Oh, I like it runny.
Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player!
Oh, I won't go!
Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay,
Oh, I'm sorry, was that your hard drive.
Oh, but you are tired, and you must rest a while!
Oh, don't be such a baby.
Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse!
Oh, it's quite nice dear, it's Sunday, it's the church.
Oh, my ears and whiskers, how late it's getting.
Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit?
Oh, no! Not *ANOTHER* learning experience.
Oh, no. Not another learning experience.
Oh, pardon me, was that *your* culture?  So sorry.
Oh, she's a treasure.
Oh, that was lucky. 
Oh, to be in England now that April's there.
Oh, what a tangled web we weave -Hair Club For Men.
Oh, what sad times are there when passing ruffians can say "Ni!" at will to old ladies!  
Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manusquire.
Ohhhh we used to DREAM of livin' in a corridor!  Woulda' been a palace to us.  
Oink!
Ok Make it 15
Ok how do I get out of here
Ok lick my arse
Ok put your suspenders on
Ok thanks
Ok then
Ok! I'm weird, but I'm saving up to become eccentric.
Ok, let yourself go, as long as you can let yourself back.
Ok, now for a quick backu^L+b&2PO^1+=.
Ok...I paged you, right? So I suppose it's down to me to start the subject?
Okay Okay - right after this one we're BACK to the TOPIC!
Okay okay hurry up then ......
Okay there you go!
Okay, I pulled the pin.  Now what?  Where are you going?
Okay.
Old Grandad is dead, but his spirit lives on.
Old MacDonald had a computer with EIA I/O.
Old Spice you 
Old age & treachery triumph over youth & vigor.
Old age is a disease without a cure.
Old age is...a lot of crossed off names in an address book.
Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
Old birds are hard to pluck.
Old computers make great boat anchors.
Old habits die hard.
Old is needing a fire permit for your birthday cake.
Old musicians never die, they just decompose.
Old programmers never die, they just lose their byte.
Old programmers never die.  They branch to a new address.
Old soldiers never die, they just fade away..
On Wednesdays I go shoppin' and have buttered scones for tea.
On a clear disk you can seek forever.
On earth as it is in San Francisco
On the bar
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
On the stage, dying is easy, comedy is difficult.
On the third day, a blizzard blew up.
On this BBS, we recycle all of our bytes, bit by bit.
Once more into the breach.
Once they get an idea in their 'eads, there's no shiftin' it.   
Once uttered, words run faster than the horses I bet on.
One B-2 bomber = 30,000 4-year college educations.
One Buchanan beats a Bush hiding a Quayle any day.
One crow will not peck out another crow's eyes.
One day I'm a windshield, the next day a bug thereon.
One family builds a wall, two families enjoy it.
One gives nothing so freely as advice.
One good turn deserves another.
One good turn gets most of the blanket on a cold night.
One good turn gets most of the blanket.
One joy scatters a hundred griefs.
One lie always leads to another almost automatically.
One man's Windows are another man's walls.
One man's folly is another man's wife.
One man's meat is another man's poison.
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
One man's wage increase is another man's price increase.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got in my pyjamas I'll never know.
One never notices what has been done; one can only see what remains to be done.
One of the founders of the greatest nation on earth.
One of these days, Alice, one of these days.
One person's <grin> is another's <groan>.
One person's bug is another person's feature.
One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
One should try everything once, except incest and folk-dancing.
One that looks nice.
One thing is for sure, the sheep is not a creature of the air.
One way to stop a run away horse is to bet on him.
One wears cosmetics where ever one wants to be kissed.
One who is always in a stew generally goes to pot.
One who is in peril thinks with their legs.
One's needs are a function of what other people have.
Onion ring to rule them all, onion ring to bind them.
Only God can make a random selection.
Only I can tell where my own shoe pinches me.
Only a doctor suffers from good health.
Only a mediocre person is ever at their best.
Only adults have difficulty with childproof caps.
Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time.
Only he attempting the absurd can achieve the impossible.
Only in baseball is a self-sacrifice appreciated.
Only in my pants
Only in the mating season.
Only in your dreams are you really free.
Only mastic from the window
Only people born with chimneys are allowed to smoke.
Only the hand able to  erase can write the truth.
Only the lucky find life is two steps forward, one back.
Only the rich have distant relatives.
Only the stupidest calves chose their own butcher.
Only they can conquer who believe they can.
Onward and backward!  We must look busy.
Open the door!
Operations does it with precise execution
Operator does it automatically
Operator does it in the cty
Operator!....Trace this call and tell me where I am.
Operators do it person-to-person
Operators mount everything
Operators push the right buttons
Operators really know how to mount it
Opinions are like noses, almost everybody has one. 
Opinions expressed here or there are not necessarily mine 
Opportunities taken are what makes your future.
Opposing action systems do not execute simultaneously.
Optimist: Someone who doesn't know all the facts yet.
Optimists do it without a doubt
Optimization hinders evolution.
Optometrists do it eyeball-to-eyeball, since they always see eye-to-eye
Optometrists do it face-to-face
Or "deserves to be drunk" ?
Or Hindus harmonising in the hall! 
Or are you going to say "Why are you being so negative" like all Elizas do when they see the string "No"?
Or five or seven, but nine, which he shall wield on all wretched sinners and that includes you sir, and the horns shall be on the head
Or is it some cunning disguise?
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken!
Oral contraception? Is that saying 'no'?
Oral sex? Is that talking about it?
Orator: a two minute idea, a two hour vocabulary.
Organic:  Church music.
Organists do it with both hands and both feet
Organists pull out all the stops and do it with their feet
Orienteers do it in the woods
Original  discoveries, seem so obvious afterwards.
Originality is undetected plagiarism.
Orthodontists do it with braces
Orthopedists get all the breaks.
Os people would do it if only they didn't 'deadlock'
Osteopaths do it until you feel no pain
Ostrich: He runs so fast he leaves his behind behind.
Other nations use force; we Britons alone use might.
Other than it doesn't work, it works fantastic for me.
Other than penicillin do you take if you have everything?
Other things change, but we start and end with family.
Other things just make you swear and curse.
Other times, other customs.
Otherwise the contents of the sandwich box were relatively unharmed, though I detected small particles of bitumen in the chocolate cup cakes.
Our big cities are becoming Third World countries.
Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise....
Our first and last love is self-love.
Our future is always uncertain our end is always too near 
Our galaxy itself contains a hundred million stars
Our life is a trip between two eternities.
Our parents ruin our early lives, our children later.
Our program, who art in memory, EXE be thy name...
Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency....
Our world: a 8000 mile in diameter spherical pile of dirt 
Out of sight, out of mind
Out of string space?  Try Scotch Tape.
Out of the crooked timber of humanity no straight thing can ever be made.
Out of the frying pan, into der fire. - The Swedish Chef.
Outpatient.  A person who has fainted in the waiting room 
Outside noisy, inside empty.
Outside where
Overdrawn?  But I still have checks left.
Overestimation: Thinking that all your geese are swans.
PARANOID - One who is really in touch with reality. 
PARANOID - One who is truly in touch with reality.
PCs are OK except when you use them as bowling balls.
PS/2 it?  PS/on it too.
Pacific northwest hackers do it with n loggin' sorts
Padres preach it
Pain is a part of all life.  Misery is at your option.
Painters do it out in the field with brightly coloured sticky substances
Painters do it with longer strokes
Paladins do it good or not at all
Paladins don't do it
Pale ink beats a good memory.
Pantomimists do it silently
Pants: Trousers' country cousins.
Paper Cramer,
Paramedics can revive anything
Paranoia is heightened awareness.
Paranoia isn't as much fun as it used to be.
Paratroopers do it by vertical insertion
Parents learn a lot from their children about coping with life.
Parents: One of the hardships of a minor's life.
Parmesan,
Particle physicists do it energetically
Particle physicists to it with *charm*
Parts is parts.
Parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus.
Pascal programmers do it with indentations.
Pascal programmers repeat it
Pascal users do it with runtime support
Pass the butter knife
Pass the butter knife!
Passing on curves: What a beauty-contest judge does.
Pastors do it with spirit
Pathologists do it with corpses
Patience: A surfer sitting in Walden Pond.
Patients do it in bed, sometimes with great pain
Patriotism is always the last refuge for the scoundrel.
Paul Revere was a tattle-tale.
Pay attention! This is the mother of all taglines.
Peckish, sir?
Pedestrian: The most approachable chap in the world.
Pedestrians come in two types: Quick or Dead.
Pediatricians do it with children
Pee-Wee's favorite baseball team --> the Expos.
Peeking two-eyed through a keyhole takes a narrow mind.
Penguin: The headwaiter of the Antarctic.
People are the only creatures with the power of laughter.
People have one thing in common, they're all different.
People sweat so they won't catch fire when making love.
People who have trouble communicating should shut up.
People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
People who stagnate rather than evolve are almost dead.
People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
People with dogs are too cowardly to bite for themselves.
People, by nature, are civic animals.
People, not dogs, sell their souls for money or power.
Percussionists beat off
Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.
Perfection is the road, not the destination.
Perfectionists do it better
Perhaps a radiologist can find something of value in him?
Perhaps a shorter pump is the answer.
Persons reading between the lines do so at their own risk 
Perverted hackers do it with pops
Pessimism never won a battle.
Pessimists can't do it
Pessimists do it with a sigh
Petty crime is the scourge of business today.
Pharmacists do it with side effects
Pharmacologists do it by prescription
Pharmacologists do it via the oral route
Pharmacologists do it with affinity
Philosophers do it for pure reasons
Philosophers do it in their minds
Philosophers do it with their minds
Philosophers go deep
Philosophers think about doing it
Philosophers think they do it
Philosophers wonder why they did it
Philosophic enjoyment = mutual misunderstanding.
Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.
Philosophy: A route leading from nowhere to nothing.
Phone operators let their fingers do the walking
Photographers do it at 68 degrees or not at all
Photographers do it fisheyed
Photographers do it in the dark
Photographers do it while exposing
Photographers do it with "enlargers" {m}
Photographers do it with a flash
Photographers do it with a zoom
Photographers do it with their subjects
Phototherapists do it with the lights on
Physicists do it a quantum at a time
Physicists do it at the speed of light
Physicists do it at two places in the universe at one time
Physicists do it attractively
Physicists do it energetically
Physicists do it in 4 dimensions
Physicists do it in black holes
Physicists do it in waves
Physicists do it like einstein
Physicists do it magnetically
Physicists do it on accelerated frames
Physicists do it particularly
Physicists do it repulsively
Physicists do it strangely
Physicists do it with black bodies
Physicists do it with charm
Physicists do it with frequency until it hertz
Physicists do it with large expensive machinery
Physicists do it with rigid bodies
Physicists do it with tensors
Physicists do it with the help of an absolute bohr
Physicists do it with their vectors
Physicists do it with uniform harmonic motion
Physicists get a big bang
Physics majors do it at the speed of light
Pi are round. Cornbread are square.
Piano players have faster fingers
Piano students learn on their teachers' instruments
Piano tuners do it twice a year.
Pilots do it higher
Pilots do it in the cockpit
Pilots do it on the wing
Pilots do it to get high
Pilots do it with flare {n}
Pilots keep it up longer
Pilots stay up longer
Ping-pong players always smash balls
Pirates do it with stumps
Piss off
Pity a donkey with a IQ of 138.  Nobody likes a smart ass 
Pity the poor corpuscle, for he labors in vein.
Pizza delivery boys come in 30 minutes, or it's free
Plan to throw one away.  You will anyhow.
Planned parenthood --- the impossible dream.
Plasma physicists do it with everything stripped off
Plasterers to it hard
Plato, they say, could stick it away, 'alf a crate of whiskey every day!
Play it, again Sam.
Players do it in a team
Please do not break character.
Please don't feed the typesetter.
Please don't unzip here. I'm bashful; I'll probably laugh 
Please don't yell at me.  I'm new at this.
Please let me know if you did not receive this.
Please return stewardess to original upright position.
Please take my word for it.
Please, forget that, I was just going to start eating.
Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh, what a relief it is.
Plumbers do it under the sink
Plumbers do it with plumber's friends
Plus programmers cycle forever, until you make them exit
Podiatrists do it with someone else's feet
Poets are rather silent on the subject of cheese.
Poker Face: The face that launched a thousand chips.
Poker players do it with their own hand
Poker: It's darkest just before you've drawn.
Pol le Veq
Polaroid does it in one step
Polaroid does it in seconds
Pole vaulters do it with long flexible instruments
Policemen come when you dial 911
Policemen like big busts
Policemen never cop out
Politicians bicker about it
Politicians do it for 4 years then have to get re-elected
Politicians do it to everyone
Politicians do it to make the headlines
Politicians do it, but they stay in too long and make you pay for it afterwards
Politicians profit by confusing theories with conditions.
Politics is stealing from the many and giving to the few.
Politics: Passing the buck or passing the doe.
Politics: The glad hand and the marble heart.
Politics: When one makes a decision that involves others.
Polymer chemists do it in chains
Pool cleaners do it wet
Popes do it in the woods
Port Salut
Positive thinking: Believe everything positively stinks.
Positive: Being mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Post office workers do it overnight, guaranteed for $8.90
Post-Operative:  Fancy title for a letter carrier.
Postage not necessary if mailed within the United States.
Postmen are first class males
Postmen come slower
Postmen fill lots of boxes
Postmen never die, they just lose their zip.
Postscript: The only thing of interest in some letters.
Power is an illusion; only stupidity is real.
Practice makes perfect.
Practice safe algebra, use brackets.
Practice what you preach.
Practiss maks perfict.
Pragmatism should never be confused with moderation.
Praise: What you receive when you are no longer alive.
Predestination was doomed from the start.
Predictable, really I suppose.  
Pregnancy is a side effect of sloppy birth control.
Prejudice is the reason of fools.
Presbyterians do it decently and in order
Preserve the old, but know the new.
Preserve wildlife...pickle a squirrel.
Press  +  to see another tagline.
Press <CTRL>+<ALT>+<DEL> to continue.
Press <ESC> to load the BBS, or <ALT>+H for an IQ test.
Press [ESC] to detonate or any other key to explode .
Press [ESC] to detonate or any other key to explode.
Press any key - i.e. the key with  "ANY"  on it.
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
Press any key... NO!... except that one.
Press the button marked church!
Pretend to spank me - I'm a pseudo-masochist.
Pretending sleep is the most common birth control device.
Prevent computer viruses. Install Trojans!
Prevention is better than cure.
Price of admission - your premise.
Priests do it faithfully with Masses.
Prince charles does it in succession
Printers do it without wrinkling the sheets
Printers do it without wrinkling the sheets.
Printers reproduce the fastest
Prisons are built with stones of law, brothels with bricks of Religion.
Pro is to con as progress is to Congress.
Probate lawyers do it willingly
Procrastinators do it later
Procrastinators will do it tomorrow
Proctologists do it in the end
Proctologists do it with a finger up where the sun don't shine
Professors do it by the book
Professors do it from a grant
Professors do it with class
Professors don't do it; they leave it as an exercise for their students
Professors forget to do it
Programmers cycle forever, until you make them exit
Programmers do it all night
Programmers do it bottom-up
Programmers do it by pushing and popping
Programmers do it in higher levels
Programmers do it in loops
Programmers do it in software
Programmers do it on command
Programmers do it top down
Programmers do it with bugs
Programmers do it with disks
Programmers do it with their fingers.
Programmers get overlaid.
Programmers have: bigger disks
Programmers peek before they poke
Programmers repeat it until done
Programmers will do it all night, but only if you are debugged
Programs will expand to fill available memory.
Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
Prolog programmers are a cut above the rest
Promiscuous hackers share resources
Promises and performances vary with hopes and fears.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Property has its duties as well as its rights.
Property is organised robbery.
Property is theft.
Prosperity makes some friends and many enemies.
Prostitute: Someone who sleeps using the Buddy System.
Prostitutes do it at illegal addresses
Prostitutes do it for profit
Protect your right to arm bears
Protein: Supportive of young people.
Protestants do it unwillingly
Prove it
Prsentez toujours le devant au monde.
Prune: A plum that has seen better days.
Psst! Your .ZIP file is open.
Psychiatrists do it for at least fifty dollars per session
Psychiatrists do it on the couch
Psychiatry is the care of the id by the odd.
Psychic Con: You know where and when.
Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.
Psychologists do it with rats
Psychologists think they do it
Public opinion flourishes where there are no ideas.
Public schools are the nurseries of all vice and immorality.
Public speakers do it orally
Pull the other one!
Pure drivel tends to drive away ordinary drivel.
Purring....the sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness.
Put off procrastinating until a later time.
Put on your seatbelt. I'm gonna try something new.
Put your stockings and stilettos on
Pyrotechnicians do it with flare
Pyrotechnicians experts do it with a blinding flash
Quakers do it quietly
Qualitative researchers know what they're looking for {o}
Quantum mechanics do it in leaps
Quantum physicist do it on time
Quantum theorists are uncertain whether they do it or not -
Quarrels would not last so long if the fault were only on one side.
Quick!  Make a wish!  It has a chance to come true.
Quick!  Say something profound in 45 characters or le.
Quick! hand me that solar-powered flashlight.
Quick, I need a tagline, let me steal yours.
Quick.  Operator.  Give me the number for 911.
Quien con perros se acuesta con pulgas se levanta.
Quien da el pan impone la ley.
Quit work and play for once.
Quit worrying about your health, it will go away.
Quite right - you don't want to come back from Sorrento to a dead cat.
Quoth the Raven,  Eat My Shorts.
REAL SysOps disconnect the speakers.
REALITY.SYS corrupted -- Reboot UNIVERSE [Y,n]?
ROM instruction: (R)ead (O)perators (M)ind.
ROM wasn't built in a day.
RTFM: But it's the computer manuals I hate.
RTFM?  You've got to be kidding.
RU486SX - 16 bit version of the popular abortion pill.
Rabbits reproduce like taglines.
Racers do it with their horses
Racers like to come in first
Racquetball players do it off the wall
Radical: Anyone whose opinion differs from ours.
Radio amateurs do it with more frequency
Radio amateurs do it with two meters {p}
Radio and tv announcers broadcast it
Radio announcers can turn your dial
Radio engineers do it till it megahertz
Radio engineers do it with frequency
Radioactive cats have 18 half lives.
Radioactive halibut will make fission chips.
Radiocasters do it in the air
Radiologists do it with high frequency
Radiologists x-ray it
Rafters do it rapidly
Rafters do it with long, hard strokes
Railroaders do it on track
Rainforest: a scarcity of animals a plethora of tourists.
Raising pet electric eels has lots of current popularity.
Raising your voice does not reinforce your argument.
Rally drivers do it sideways
Rangers do it in the woods
Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
Rappers pump it up
Raquetball players do it with blue balls
Rat cake, rat sorbet, rat pudding, or strawberry tart.
Rational information in arguments not permitted here.
Ray tracers do it on any available platform {q}
Read messages, not taglines.
Read the docs? Wow, what a radical concept.
Reader not found, please notify tagline.
Reading with your eyes closed may help you understand.
Real estate people know all the prime spots
Real knowledge is knowing the extent of one's ignorance.
Real knowledge is to know the extent of your ignorance.
Real programmers practice safe HEX.
Real programmers use punched cards.
Real wealth is the kind that can only increase.
Reality is a constant intrusion on my dreams.
Reality is an illusion produced by alcohol deficiency.
Reality is for those that can't handle drugs.
Reality is something you rise above.
Reality is the indefinite enumeration of objects.
Reality stems from the line printer.
Reality sure has unknown dimensions.
Reality-O-Meter:  [\.......]  Hmmph!  Thought so.
Reality: Crutch for people who can't read science fiction 
Reality: Only a concept and the home of the brave.
Really - is it very old?
Really boring. Today I counted 1,952 cars on the M1
Really get stoned, drink wet cement.
Really stupid people believe they are intelligent.
Really, that's a little bit dirty ain't it
Really? 
Really?  He offered me that job too.  How odd.
Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.
Recent investments will yield a slight profit.
Recognize the signs of spring.
Recursion, noun:  see recursion.
Recursive programmers do it over and over and over.....
Recycle! For us and for them.
Recycle: For me, for you, for them, and them, and them.  
Recyclers do it again and again and again
Red Windsor?
Red, white, and blue. Three colors that only run forward.
Redneck: (n); a person whose family tree doesn't fork.
Redundancy is something I can do again and again.
Regardless of what you may think, this is not a tagline.
Regular or extra crispy, how do you want the environment?
Religious people are wicked, how would they be without?
Remember me
Remember that a kick in the butt may equal a step forward.
Remember that three lefts make a right.
Remember to leave 15% for the tip of the iceberg.
Remember, UNIX spelled backwards is XINU.
Remember, if you win the rat race, you're still a rat.
Remember, it takes two to dance the tango.
Remember, it takes two to play peekaboo.
Remember, it takes two to share a kiss.
Remember, one runner does not make a race.
Remember, one shoe cannot be a pair.
Remember, one singer is not a duet.
Remember, the end never justifies the meanness.
Remember, the paper is strongest at the perforations.
Remember: No matter where you go; there you are.
Repartee: An insult with a suit and tie on.
Repellers do it with ropes
Repent and return those library books.
Repetition is the death of art.
Reporters do it daily
Reporters do it for a story
Reporters do it for the sensation it causes
Reproductive physiologists do it for a living.
Republicans do as their lobbyists tell them to
Republicans do it to poor people
Repunzel, Repunzel, ... turn on your modem.
Reputation:  What others are not thinking about you.
Research professors do it only if they get grants
Researchers are still looking for it
Researchers do it with control
Resist being put into boxes.
Resistance is useless,  if you have no volts or amps.
Resort: A place where the tired grow more tired.
Responsibility without power is like slavery.
Restaurant: An eating place that does not sell drugs.
Results may be unpredictable.
Retailers move their merchandise
Retirement: when you get a certificate of depreciation.
Retreat hell! We're just fighting in another direction.
Revenge is sweeter than life itself.  So think fools.
Revenue canada employees do it to everyone
Revolutions are not about trifles, but from trifles grow.
Richard Nixon's got a hedgehog called Frank.
Riches are for spending.
Right
Right then I think I'll leave it to the next div in the queue
Right then, I'll be off. Being so cheap and all. Bye
Right, sir.
Right-o, sir.
Right. I think I hear your mother calling you.
Right... What do you want to talk about?
Risc assembly programmers do it 1073741824 times a second
Rise from life as a banquet, neither thirsty nor drunken.
Robotech? Oh, look Darling, it's Dallas in outer space!
Robots do it mechanically
Rock and roll is the hamburger that ate the world.
Rocket scientists do it with higher thrust
Rocket scientists do it with thrust
Roller-skaters like to roll around
Rolling stones magazine does it where they rock
Rome's just a city like anywhere else.
Ronald Reagan, the Milli Vanilli of Presidents.
Roofers do it on top
Roosters do it coquettishly
Roquefort
Rotisserie: a ferris wheel for chickens.
Rotisserie: a ferris wheel for chickens. 
Rounded numbers are always false.
Royal guards do it in uniforms
Rugby players do it with leather balls
Rule Four, now this term, I don't want to catch anybody not drinking.
Rule Two, no member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos in any way at all - if there's anybody watching.
Rule of Order: He who shouts the loudest has the floor.
Rules?  What rules?
Rumors love lies.
Runners do it with vigor
Runners get into more pants
Running Windows is better than washing them.
Russian Express Card motto: Don't leave home.
SCUD : (S)ure (C)ould (U)se (D)irections.
SHIN - A device for finding furniture in the dark.
SYSOP: The guy that is laughing at your typing.
SYSTEM ERROR:  press F13 to continue.
Said the fly " Let us flee."  Said the flea "Let us fly."
Sail hackers do it with [control]
Sail hackers follow the procedure
Sail hackers have high service levels
Sailors are best on the sheets
Sailors curse the rain that farmers prayed for in vain.
Sailors do it ad nauseam
Sailors do it after cruising the seven seas
Sailors do it upon the waves.
Sailors get blown off shore
Sailors like to be blown
Sails trimmed, autopilot on, now it's "Miller Time."
Saint Paulin
Salespeople have a way with their tongues
Same old line ay?
Same thing
San Francisco: where NOBODY eats Rice-a-Roni.
Sandwich: An faulty attempt to make both ends meat.
Sanity not found.  Abort, Ignore, Retry, Fail?
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.
Saturday's child works hard for a living.
Save energy: be apathetic.
Save more trees, eat more beavers. 
Save our  planet, leave something of value behind.
Save out planet for our descendants.
Save the Chocolate Moose!
Save the earth, some of my best friends live here.
Save the plankton - eat a whale.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
Save trees, eat beavers.
Saved whales are to be stored in Davy Jones' locker.
Savoy Aire
Sax players are horny
Saxon Pig!
Saxophonists have curved ones
Say "No," then negotiate.
Say the secret word and this duck is yours.
Saying is one thing, and doing another.
Sceptics doubt it can be done
Schizophrenia beats dining alone.
Scientists discovered it
Scientists do it experimentally
Scientists do it with plenty of research
Scotsmen do it with amazing grace
Scratch an American and you get a Seventh Day Adventist every time.
Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours.
Screw each and every prime directive.
Screw up your courage!  You've screwed up everything else 
Scrute the inscrutable;  eff the ineffable.
Scuba divers do it deeper
Sculptor: A poor unfortunate who makes faces and busts.
Sculptors beat at it until bits fall off
Se non e vero, e molto ben trovato.
Second fiddles do it vilely
Secretaries do it from 9 to 5
Secretion: Something someone is hiding from you.
Sects!  Sects!  Sects!  Is that all Monks think about?
Security is a game where final goal is never reached.
See I'm a Scotsman and well Big means enormous
See you in the movies.
See you later alligator!
Seeing is believing, Touching is convincing.
Seeing is believing.
Seek home for rest, for home is best.
Seek not to follow footsteps but what they sought.
Seismologists do it to a fault.
Seismologists do it when the earth shakes
Seismologists make the earth move
Seize no evil, Ears no evil, and Nose no evil.
Seize no evil, ears no evil, and nose no evil.
Self-made man: A horrible example of unskilled labor.
Self-sacrifice: to sacrifice others without blushing.
Selfishness is a vice we see it only in others.
Semanticists do it with meaning
Semiconductor:  A part-time orchestra leader.
Senators do it on the floor
Send in the clowns.
Sergeants do it privately
Seriousness is the very next step to being dull.
Set theorists do it with cardinals
Sex
Sex and death, two things that occur once in a lifetime.
Sex is hereditary. If your parents didn't, you won't.
Sex is like an industrial film covered in fur..
Sex is not a answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer 
Sex isn't the best nor the worst thing in the world.
Shake off your heavy trance! And leap into a dance.
Shake well before and after use.
Shake, a man of note, wrote so many things to quote.
Shakespearean scholars do it, or don't do it, that is the question
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Shall I?
Shall we go round tha back honey?
Shame is an ornament to the young, a disgrace to the old.
Shamed be he who thinks evil of it.
Share your happiness with others today.
Shared pain is lessened;  shared joy is increased.
Shareware author dies:  .GIF at eleven.
Shareware it only works if you pay.
Shareware, crippleware, annoyware, underwear.
Sharp wits, like sharp knives, often cut their owner.
Sharper than an asp's tooth to have a thankless child.
She can't take much more of this Captain.
She devotes her spare time to neglecting duties.
She got pregnant simply because she hated rabbits.
She has been under more drunken sailors than a naval head 
She is descended from a line that her mother listened to.
She kept saying I didn't listen to her -- or something.
She wore just enough for modesty - no more.
She's a good Sheila Bruce, and not at all stuck up.
She's been around a bit, been around?
She's been on more laps than a napkin.
She's looking at menopause in a rear-view mirror.
She, sir.
Sheep do it when led astray
Sheesh, I'm off
Sherman, set the Way-Back Machine for 1492.
Shhhhhh.....the topic cops are coming.
Shill: Guy who loses $2000 at a table, & leaves smiling.
Shit
Shoplifters with the runs always take Clepto Bismol.
Should I ask what the Ferengi is?
Should old acquaintance be forgot - Count of Monte Cristo 
Shouldn't you be doing something useful?
Shouldn't you call the church?
Show & Tell: Lecture by Gypsy Rose Lee.
Show affection, it may result in a pleasant response.
Show me a good tagline... And I'll steal it.
Show respect for age.  Drink good Scotch for a change.
Show us ya tits then
Show us your boobs
Shrubberies are my trade.  
Shubert didn't finish it
Shut up!
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.
Si jeunesse savoit, si vieillesse pouvoit.
Sick Pay: Ill-gotten gains.
Signallers do it with frequency til it hertz
Silence is evidence of a superb command of the language.
Silence is golden. So shut up and get rich!
Silence is more eloquent at times than words.
Silent gratitude isn't of much value to anyone.
Silly little point but it does seem to matter.
Silly rabbit, tricks are for hookers.
Silver and gold make even pigs seem clean.
Simple rule: If you don't treat me right, shame on you.
Simulation hackers do it with models
Simulators do it continously & discretely 
Sin has many tools, a lie is only handle for them all.
Since GOD spelled backwards is DOG, is my poodle Satan?
Since life goes on - you might as well get on with it.
Since prehistoric man, no battle has ever gone as planned 
Since she won't live forever, why give her a diamond?
Since vegetarians eat vegetables, beware of humanitarians 
Since we all move so slow, why is it called rush hour?
Singers do it with microphones
Sinner: A stupid person who gets found out.
Sir Lancelot, you have chain mail in Knight's Conference.
Sit down, you're rocking the boat.
Skaters do it on ice
Skeet shooters do it 25 times in 9 different positions
Skeletons do it with a bone
Skeptics are seldom deceived.
Skiers do it spread eagled
Skiers do it with poles
Skiers go down fast
Skunks do it instinctively
Skydivers are good till the last drop
Skydivers do it at great heights
Skydivers do it in the air
Skydivers do it sequentially {r}
Skydivers do it spread-eagle
Skydivers go down faster
Skydivers go in harder {s}
Skydivers never do it without a chute
Slaves are masters at it
Slaves do it for the maters
Sleep is a poor substitute for caffeine.
Sleep warm, love well and carry a big stick.
Slightly to the right hand side, a johnstone man so they say!
Slow and steady wins the race.
Smack
Small boat sailors do it by pumping, rocking, and ooching
Smalltalk programmers have more methods
Smile if you are wearing sexy underwear.
Smile you may meet a person who will play with your life.
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
Smoked Austrian?
Smoking cures weight problems... eventually.
Smoking is one of leading causes of statistics.
Snails' pace: .00758 mph.
Snakes do it in the grass
Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more?
Snipers do it with a single shot
Snozzelberry? Who ever heard of a snozzelberry? 
So
So I've got loads of personality in my KNOB!
So crowded in here, I must go outside to change my mind.
So do you
So do your feet still smell?
So does a tree
So dumb: Chewing the stick, not sucking the lollipop.
So he can go on playing, can he?
So how has your day been?
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
So many messages ... So little time left. 
So much for No New TAXES, I'm giving up lip-reading.
So tell me - how old am I?
So what do you do in your spare time?
So what's up
So what's up?
So where did we all come from? Stop acting like a monkey.
So who's in a hurry?
So, how do ya fancy me
So, how much do you charge per hour?
So, what of it
Soap manufacturers do it with zest
Soccer players do it for 90 minutes" -the length of a soccer game
Soccer players do it for kicks
Soccer players do it in 90 minutes
Soccer players have better ball control
Soccer players have leather balls
Society like air, is necessary but not complete for life.
Society prepares the crime; the criminal commits it.
Sociologists do it with class
Sociologists do it with standard deviations
Sociology majors do it with a conscience
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.
Software designers do it over and over until they get it right
Software designers do it with system
Software independent: Won't work with ANY software.
Software reliablity specialists keep it up longer
Software testers do it over and over again
Software, hardware, -- is that you talking Sigmund?
Solar astronomers do it all day
Solar astronomers do it with flare
Soldiers do it in a uniform fashion
Soldiers do it in an orderly fashion
Soldiers do it on command
Soldiers do it standing erect
Soldiers do it with a machine gun
Soldiers do shoot it
Soldiers parade it
Solution Series: Works for Windows, Publisher and Money
Solve the problems of the world: Vote anarchist.
Some are wise; others are otherwise....
Some assembly required.
Some authors should be paid by the quantity NOT written. 
Some believe their life sentence is take up room and die.
Some bosses call passing the buck delegating authority.
Some climb the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
Some cures are worse than the disease.
Some days it take effort to just keep up with the losers.
Some days the only good thing on TV is the vase.
Some days you're a bug, other days a windshield.
Some farewells are easier than others.
Some men are discovered, others are found out.
Some men without a god are like fish without bicycles.
Some nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Some of us just die, others of us live on.
Some people are born stupid, others work to acquire it.
Some people are like a Don Quayle without the intellect.
Some people can't succeed at anything, even suicide.
Some people grasp stupidity as though it were a virtue.
Some people say it's folly, but I'd rather have the lolly.
Some rise by sin and some by virtue fall.
Some settling may have occurred in shipping.
Some things in life are bad.
Some thoughts are best guillotined before actions result.
Some winners rely upon miracles without believing in them 
Some women get excited about nothing, then marry him.
Some zoophilic dreams are really wild.
Somebody's boring me. I think its me.
Someone is speaking well of you.
Someone is unenthusiastic about your work.
Someone superglued all my bytes onto my hard drive.
Someone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow.
Something to bring me luck
Something will have to be done, something irresponsible.
Something would have to be done... something Sometimes a  
Sometimes I wake up grumpy...other times I let her sleep.
Sometimes even fools make good suggestions.
Sometimes it takes a fool to rush in to get the job done.
Sometimes the devil is a gentleman.
Sometimes the truth is the worst horror.
Sonarmen do it aurally
Soon learnt, soon forgotten.
Sooner murder an infant in its cradle than nurse unacted desires.
Sopranos do it in unison
Sorry I've just been sick
Sorry, can't think of an insult stupid enough for you.
Sorry, sir.
Sorry.
Sorry?
Sounds like a nice boy
Sounds nice!
Soviet hardline leaders do it with tanks
Spaghetti code = job security.
Spare the rod and spoil the child.
Sparky's Law: You must say something cute here!
Sparrows do it for a lark {t}
Speak kind words, and you will hear wonderful echoes.
Speak of braggarts: talking of those lacking something.
Speakers do it with pointers
Speaking clocks do it on the third stroke
Specifications subject to change without notice.
Spectroscopists do it until it hertz
Spectroscopists do it with frequency and intensity
Speculation is the return lane of the road to knowledge.
Speech communication majors give good oral
Speech pathologists are oral specialists
Speech pathologists do it orally
Speed things up, make pre-aged wine from old raisins.
Speleologists make a science of going deeper
Spellcasters do it with their rods/staves/wands
Spelunkers do it in narrow dark places
Spelunkers do it in the hole
Spelunkers do it underground
Spelunkers do it while wearing heavy rubber protective devices
Spies do it under cover
Split hairs any finer and you'll end up with split ends.
Spongecake:  Dessert made of borrowed ingredients.
Spooks are a breed apart.
Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon.
Sportscasters like an instant replay
Spring makes everything young again except humans.
Sprinters do it after years of conditioning
Sprinters do it in less than 10 seconds
St matthew did it passionately
Stack overflow ......  (if you know what that means you're a NERD!)
Stage hands do it behind the scenes
Stage hands do it for every scene
Stage hands do it in the dark
Stage hands do it on cue
Stage hands do it on the fly
Stalin has always hated me.
Stand back, Here I go.......
Stand-up comics do it standing up
Standing on head makes smile of frown for mouth only.
Start a family only if your parents are able to baby sit.
Start off every day with a smile and get it over with.
State Dept. of Unnecessary Double Redundancies Section.
Statisticians do it continuously but discretely
Statisticians do it when it counts
Statisticians do it with 95Sonfidence
Statisticians do it with large numbers
Statisticians do it with only a 5Shance of being rejected
Statisticians do it with two-tail t tests
Statisticians do it; after all, it's only normal
Statisticians probably do it
Status Quo--Latin for the mess we are in.
Stay away from flying saucers today.
Stay away from hurricanes for a while.
Stay with me, I want to be alone.
Stealth means never having to say you're sorry.
Stewardesses do it in the air
Stick \'stik\ n. 1: A boomerang that doesn't work
Stick to your talent and the cows will be well tended.
Stick your tongue up my shit filled arse you Essex tart
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
Still waters run deep.
Stilton?
Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you.
Stop spelling misteaks: use error correcting modems.
Stop! You're killing me <G>
Stragglers do it in the rear
Straight trees have crooked roots.
Strange but not a stranger...
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!  
Strawberry tart?
Strength of mind: Person who can eat one salted peanut.
Stretch pants: What Lassie does when the show runs under.
Structured programmers  do it od
Students are graded for their performance
Students do it as exercises
Students do it on a guaranteed loan
Students do it with their students
Students use their heads
Stulti timent fortunam sapientes ferunit.
Stupid: Being unable to find your own butt in the dark.
Stupidity has no limits, genius does.
Stupidity is no excuse for not thinking.
Stupidity is not a handicap.  You have to park elsewhere.
Sub omni lapide scorpio dormit.
Subliminal:  Send me $1000 in small, unmarked bills.
Submariners do it deeper
Submariners use their torpedoes
Submitted for your approval.
Subway: A place so crowded even all men can't get seats.
Success is simply a matter of luck.  Ask any failure.
Success of those we dislike proves that luck exists.
Succumb to natural tendencies.  Be hateful and boring.
Suck my clankers
Suck my cock
Suck my duck, cakehole!
Sucker
Suicidal twin kills brother by mistake.
Supercomputer users do it in parallel
Superior firepower is invaluable when negotiations start.
Support FREE software.  Write it yourself.
Support mental health, or I'll kill you!
Suppress that thought.
Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some... farcical aquatic ceremony!
Sure I can help you out, which way did you come in?
Sure am, and you ain't bad yourself.
Sure ya do, ya nice bit a sauce. 
Sure, when OINK FLAP OINK FLAP ... I'll be damned.
Surfers do it in the tube. {u}
Surfers do it in waves
Surfers do it standing up
Surfers do it with their wives, or, if unmarried, with their girl friends
Surgeons are smooth operators
Surgeons do it incisively
Surly to bed, and surly to rise.
Surprise due today.  Also the rent.
Surprise the world.  Get to work on time today.
Swap read error.  You lose your mind.
Swashbucklers do it with three feet of steel
Swell-head: Nature's frantic effort to fill a vacuum.
Swimmers do it in the water
Swimmers do it under water
Swimmers do it with a breast stroke
Swimmers do it with better strokes
Swinging hackers move swapped
Synonym: A word you use when you can't spell the other.
Syntax Error in KITCHEN.H : COFFEE not found.
Sysoping, not just an adventure, sometimes it's emesis.
Sysoping: More fun than being beaten with a sledgehammer.
Sysops do it with their computers
System Failure.  Push (B)ullshit  (W)hine  (S)urrender.
System hackers are always ready
System hackers get it up quicker
System hackers keep it up longer
System hackers know where to poke
System hackers swap on demand
System managers do it with pencils
Systems go down on their hackers
Systems have black boxes
Systems programmers keep it up longer
THIS TAGLINE NOT TO BE REMOVED UNDER PENALTY OF LAW.
TV advertising is the rattling inside a swill bucket.
Tablet:  A small table.
Tabloid: A newspaper with a permanent crime wave.
Tact is knowing how far to go in going too far.
Tact is the intelligence of the heart.
Tact: Describing others as they see themselves.
Tact: Recalling a lady's birthday but forgetting her age.
Tag lines are irrelevant if you don't understand them.
Tagito ergo sum  (I Tag, therefore I am).
Tagline space to let.  Inquire within. 
Taglines are almost as bad as bumper stickers.
Taglines unite! Stop kidnapping of taglines.
Tailors come with no strings attached
Tailors make it fit
Take a hair of the dog that bit you.
Take egotism out, and you castrate the benefactors.
Take the bull by the hand, and don't mix metaphors.
Take two aspirin and call the consultant.
Take two crows and caw me in the morning.
Take what you can use and let the rest go by.
Take your jeans off
Take your levity whenever and wherever you can find it.
Talk about memory, this system includes a sense of guilt.
Talk dirty to me
Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
Talking is another disease of age.
Talking of bulls is not like being in the bull ring.
Tankers do it but leave tracks
Tankers do it with armour
Tankers do it with protection
Tap dancers do it with their feet
Tart
Tata me old spaniel
Tattooed on the back o' the neck.  I'll call the police.
Tax Shelter- A way to spend a buck to save fifty cents.
Tax reform: Don't tax you or me, tax that fellow there.
Taxation is little more than legalized extortion.
Taxi cab drivers come faster
Taxi drivers do it all over town
Taxidermists mount anything
Taxidermy Cafe: Let us stuff you.
Tea for two, and two for tea.
Teacher (according to a child): A non-violent mother.
Teachers do it 50 times after class
Teachers do it repeatedly
Teachers do it with class
Teachers do it with instruction
Teachers make _you_ do it till you get it right
Teaching: Appearing to have known your subject forever.
Teamwork is essential it allows you to blame someone else 
Technicians do it with frequency
Technicians do it with greater frequency
Technicians do it with high voltage probes
Technicians do it with mechanical assistance
Technicians test it first
Teddy bears do it with small children
Teddy roosevelt did it softly, but with a big stick
Teenager: Having tunnel vision and selective hearing.
Teetotallers lack the sympathy and generosity of men that drink.
Telemarketers do it over, and over, and over .........
Telemarketers never stop doing it
Telephone co employees let their fingers do the walking
Teleportation affects your orientation.
Television proves people will look at except each other.
Tell her today, you could ring her.
Tell me
Tell me about your childhood
Tell me about yourself
Tell me again why you named your kid "Rasputin?"
Tell me more
Tell me what to say.
Tell me, am I supposed to be pleased or frightened?
Tell me, how do they put budgies down, then?
Tell no big lies today.  Small ones are just as effective 
Tellers can handle all deposits and withdrawals
Ten bob, old money. Sigh
Tend the molehills, the mountains look after themselves.
Tennis players cannot play with balls all day long {v}
Tennis players do it in sets
Tennis players do it in their shorts
Tennis players have fuzzy balls
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Test makers do it sometimes/always/never
Testators do it willingly
Testers do it over and over
Testing 1 2 3. Hey, is this thing on?
Testing 1-2-3
Texans do it with oil
Texas Barbecue, if you can taste the meat someone goofed.
Th-th-th-that's all, folks.
Thank God that a person can have only one MIL at a time.
Thank me no thankings nor proud me no prouds.
Thank you but can you explain this bbs to me?
Thank you for observing all safety precautions.
Thank you for the excellent banana and cheese sandwich.
Thank you!
Thanks sweetie
Thanks. You pong.
That ain't so good English!
That concept looks like a chicken in a windstorm.
That doesn't surprise me at all
That is correct.
That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.
That must be the password. I'm outa here. See ya.
That must be wonderful. I don't understand it at all.
That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
That seems a little harsh :)
That should clear out your sinuses.
That should obviate a recurrence of the same problem.
That shouldn't really happen to a self-sealing container, should it? 
That sounds about right.
That tagline is TRUE ->  "x"  <- That tagline is FALSE.
That tagline is TRUE ->  <- That tagline is FALSE.
That was a pointing device? My cat thought it was dinner.
That was definately the LAST bug, take my word for it.
That was pretty quick! and with one finger typing ay?
That was then, this is now.
That will teach exactly what to whom?
That's a bit fuckin strong
That's a rather personal question, sir.
That's a smug aura of respectability you see in a mirror?
That's a strange expression, Bruce.
That's better
That's for sure.
That's funny, because I never held a conversation with Gene Roddenberry either.
That's going to cause a little confusion.
That's good, that's good!  
That's my business and I'm not telling you, so stuff it!
That's not a bug, it's an undocumented feature.
That's not very nice
That's now what I asked, Does After Dark 2.0 run under Windows 3.0 or 3.1
That's ok how long have you had this problem
That's pretty cool. How do you get the machine to answer the page?
That's pretty cool. I just called to say hey and ask a ton of questions, like how did you set your machine up to answer a call while you were asleep. I hope you get this message. I'm not sure you will. Thanks.
That's really heavy!!! makes Metallica look like cliff Richard!
That's right, try hard to be good at the game of life.
That's true
That's very tempting, I've never had one up there before!
That's very very sad
The Boy Scouts is like the army with adult supervision.
The Bridge of Death!
The Caldecott Tunnel has less traffic than that vagina.
The Church of St. Humid the Incontinent.
The Day of Judgement is approaching, or it is not.
The English are polite by telling lies. The Americans are polite by telling the truth.
The French are wiser than they seem.
The Giant Redwood tree!
The House Of Lords is a model of how to care for the elderly.
The House of Lords is like a glass of champagne that has stood for five days.
The House of Lords is the British Outer Mongolia for retired politicians.
The Larch!
The Little Whopping Rule Tree!
The Mohamedans don't come 'round here wavin' bells at us! 
The Pine!
The Poles are now telling free market jokes.
The Ranger isn't going to like it, Yogi.
The Sequoia!
The Shintus don't come here shattering sheet glass in the shithouse, shouting slogans.
The Tsongas ended, but the malady lingers on.
The UARTs won't take this speed, Captain.
The air force does it and aims high
The air force does it...  ...after coffee
The air force, aims high, shoots low
The airborne 'chute their loads
The airborne does it from above
The answer is easier when the question is hypothetical.
The army does it 24 hours a day, 365 days a year...
The army does it being all that they can be
The army does it with brute force
The arrogance of age must submit to be taught by youth.
The art of acting consists in keeping people from coughing.
The artillery does it with 155mm guns
The artillery shoots bigger loads
The ballot is stronger than the bullet.
The battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton.
The best armor is to keep out of range.
The best audience: Intelligent, well-educated, and drunk.
The best blood at times gets into fools and mosquitoes.
The best defense against logic is stupidity.
The best doctor is the one you hunt for and can't find.
The best draftees are married men, they take orders.
The best government teaches us to govern ourselves.
The best insominia cure is a good night's sleep.
The best laid plans often go a fowl.
The best of friends must part.
The best of life is but intoxication.
The best prophet of the future is the past.
The best thing I know between France and England - is the sea.
The best water doesn't come in fancy bottles.
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
The best way to get ahead is to use the one you've got.
The best way to keep your word is not to give it.
The best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut.
The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.
The big print giveth and the fine print taketh away.
The bigger the bankroll, the tighter the band around it.
The bird of war is not the eagle but the stork.
The blind do it with feeling
The buck doesn't even slow down here.
The buck stops at the desk over there.
The buck stops here, the doe just visits.
The bullet that is to kill me has not yet been moulded.
The butler did it.
The cartoon peril was no more.  
The cat's eaten it.
The cautious seldom err.
The cavalery does it with charge
The chapter of accidents is the longest chapter in the book.
The characters in this message are recyclable.
The chief cause of problems is solutions.
The child had every toy his father wanted.
The choice: Roll over or stand up to the challenge.
The cinema is not a slice of life but a piece of cake.
The city is not a concrete jungle.  It is a human zoo.
The client who pays the least, always complains the most.
The cold antiseptic sting of the Swiss franc!
The consumer is not a moron, it is your spouse.
The cost of feathers has risen, now even down is up.
The course of true anything never does run smoothly.
The covers of some books are too far apart.
The crash of the whole solar and stellar systems could only kill you once.
The customer is always right.
The customer takes out a gun and shoots the owner.
The deaf do it with a sign
The deeper the sorrow, the less tongue hath it.
The desire to work is confined to classified ads.
The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
The devil falls on account of his gravity.
The devil finds work for idle hands to do.
The devil is not so black as he is painted.
The difference between us is that my family begins with me, whereas yours ends with you.
The dog ate my .REP packet.
The early bird catches the worm.
The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only heavier.
The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only much heavier 
The end is what usually justifies the diet.
The energizer bunny does it and keeps going and going, and going, and going
The eventual supremacy of reason should be accepted.
The eye is bigger than the belly.
The fbi does it under cover
The feel of the franc!
The fewer our wants, the more we resemble the gods.
The first cut is the deepest.
The first day a guest, the second day a guest, the third day a calamity.
The first myth of management is that management exists.
The first sigh of love is the last of wisdom.
The first step is the hardest.
The first step towards philosophy is incredulity.
The first wealth is health.
The fish in the sea are as good as the fish removed.
The flogging will continue until the morale improves.
The footprint of the owner is the best manure.
The four food groups: coffee, ice cream, beer and pizza.
The fox knows many things - the hedgehog one big one.
The fuckin fuckers fuckin fucked
The future is not what it used to be.
The future's uncertain and the end is always near.
The ginger biscuit, the crisps and the sausage roll were unharmed.
The glitter and the glory of the guinea!
The good die young.
The good lord willing and the board don't crash.
The graveyards are full of indispensable people.
The greater the ignorance the greater the dogmatism.
The greatest cunning is to have none at all.
The greatest fault is to be conscious of none.
The greatest headaches are those we cause ourselves.
The green, lush Devon countryside.
The guest who outstays his fellow guests looses his overcoat.
The hard disk you save may be your own.
The heart is wiser than the intellect.
The heel of the deutschmark!
The highest bidder catches the most politicians.
The hole and the patch should be commensurate.
The human body is indeed a wonderful thing.
The ignorant man always adores what he cannot understand.
The incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is.
The infantry does it cam'ed
The infantry does it in fox-holes
The infantry does it on the attack
The intellect is always fooled by the heart.
The laborer is worthy of his hire, only if his labor is.
The last sound that it made was "Zap."
The last straw breaks the camel's back.
The law disregards trifles, what is this dessert called?
The law hath not been dead, though it hath slept.
The law of intelligent tinkering: save all the parts.
The less a statesman amounts to the more he loves a flag.
The less things change, the more they remain the same.
The light seen at an end of a tunnel is at the wrong end.
The living need charity more than the dead.
The living world is a continuum in each and every aspect.
The longer the title, the less important the job.
The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves.
The luck ordained for you will be coveted by others.
The lure of the lira!
The mark of a true MBA : often wrong, but seldom in doubt 
The marvellous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.
The maxim of the British people is 'Business as usual'
The meek may inherit earth. Those who dare, the stars.
The meek shall inherit the earth, but no mineral rights.
The mind grows by what it feeds upon.
The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out.
The moon may be smaller than Earth, but it's further away 
The more known about people, the more to admire in dogs.
The more things change the more they stay the same.
The more you run over a cat, the flatter is gets.
The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
The most popular form of birth control: The headache.
The mouse with a single hole is quickly caught by the cat 
The national dish of America is menus.
The navy does it in waves
The nearer the bone the sweeter the flesh.
The need to be right - the sign of a vulgar mind.
The object of art is to give life a shape.
The object of war is to allow them die for their country.
The older I get, it seems the better I used to be.
The one without the gannet
The only argument with the wind is to put on a coat.
The only certainty is that nothing is certain.
The only chance I get to talk is while my wife inhales.
The only difference between her and it is the lipstick.
The only heavy breathing I ever hear is after aerobics.
The only man who really needs a tail coat is a man with a hole in his trousers.
The only realities are the atoms and empty space.
The only red menace in America is the sunburn.
The only road to success is always under construction.
The only roses without thorns are love and friendship.
The only thing more reliable than magic is one's friends.
The only thing that worries me, is being the first one down that gully.
The only thing worse than a sorcerer is his apprentice.
The only time I open my mouth is to change feet.
The only victory over love is flight.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it
The only way to judge the future is by knowing the past.
The only winner of the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.
The only wormhole I've seen went through an apple.
The orator, with a flood of words a his drop of reason.
The other line always moves faster.
The past always looks better than it was when it was here 
The past is not what it will be.
The past should be a mental springboard - not a hammock.
The pen is the tongue of the mind.
The picture of health requires a happy frame of mind.
The plural of spouse is spice.
The price of greatness is responsibility.
The principle's the same. 
The probability of success if not almost 1 is usually 0.
The problem is not if machines think, but if people do.
The proof is the phylogeny of plant-animal interactions.
The proof of a system's value is its existence.
The pump caught in my trouser leg, and my sandwiches were badly crushed.  
The purification of politics is an iridescent dream.
The quest for the Holy Grail could continue.         
The question is: "(2 * B!) OR NOT(2 * B!)"
The race from stupidity is to the driven, not the swift.
The ratchet wheel of politics is self-destructive greed.
The ripest fruit falls first.
The road to a friend's house is never difficult nor long.
The romance of the ruble!
The roots of honesty and virtue lie in a good education.
The same.
The scenery only changes for the lead dog.
The school I went to was in a state when I got there but got worse the longer I stayed.
The sea hath bounds, but deep desire hath none.
The sea hath bounds, but true deep desire hath none.
The seabird hater left no tern unstoned.
The shortest answer is doing.
The shortest distance between two puns: a straight line.
The show-off is always shown-up in a show-down.
The smell of the rain-washed florin!
The solution to a problem changes the problem.
The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack.
The stranger, the better.
The stupid duck just asked me that.
The sun always rises on the most tired people.
The sun is never the worse for shining on a dunghill.
The sun shines even on the most wicked of people.
The terrorist and the policeman both come from the same basket.
The test: Behavior in times of controversy and challenge.
The thing most generally raised on land is taxes.
The time is right to make new friends.
The tree of liberty is watered with the blood of tyrants.
The trodden path is the safest.
The trouble with a kitten is that, eventually it's a cat.
The true University of these days is a collection of books.
The truth doesn't hurt unless it ought to.
The truth is one thing that nobody will believe.
The truth, if you recognize, will clear out your sinuses.
The universe is a figment of it's own imagination.
The universe is laughing behind your back.
The vulgar boil, the learned roast an egg.
The wages of sin go unreported.
The warranty: Bold print giveth & fine print taketh away.
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
The way to a man's heart is through his veins
The weed of crime bears bitter fruit.
The welfare of the people is the chief law.
The what?
The wife of a careless man is almost a widow.
The wildest colts make the best steeds.
The wise learn more from fools than fools from the wise.
The woman cries before the wedding; the man afterward.
The world is a beautiful book, for those who can read it.
The world is coming to an end --- please log off now.
The world is like a cactus except the pricks are inside.
The world of today is run by "C" students of yesterday.
The world, as we know it, has come to an end.
The world: A comedy for thinkers; a tragedy for feelers.
The worst hatred is that of relatives.
The worst possible set of circumstances is bound to occur 
The worst thing about censorship is .
The worst thing men is that when not drunk they are sober.
The wrong way always seems the more reasonable.
The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.
The young man who has not wept is a savage.
The youth organisation to which they belonged
Theakstons then
Theater majors do it with an audience
Theater techies do it in the dark, on cue
Theater: Holding a mirror up to a keyhole.
Theoretical astronomers only *think* about it
Theoreticians do it conceptually
Theoreticians do it with a proof {w}
There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
There are good five-cent cigars, but they cost two bits.
There are many ways to show affection.
There are more dead than living and they are increasing.
There are more old drunkards than old doctors.
There are no answers at best a few possibly good guesses.
There are no limits for journeys of the mind.
There are no ugly women, only lazy ones.
There are some defeats more triumphant than victories.
There are three things that come next, uh four.
There are two reasons for doing: one good, the other real 
There are two requirements for joining this organization, no brains or teeth!
There are two sides to a question, politicians take both.
There is a great difference between painting a face and not washing it.
There is a pestilence in this land!  
There is a skeleton in every old house and old horse.
There is always a law against doing anything interesting.
There is always room at the top.
There is always someone worse off than yourself.
There is in human nature generally more of the fool than of the wise.
There is more at stake here than our lives.
There is more than one way to skin a cat.
There is no accounting for taste.
There is no defense except stupidity against a new idea.
There is no gravity, the earth sucks.
There is no joy in Mudville, mighty Casey has struck out.
There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
There is no such thing as a free lunch.
There is no such thing as bravery; only degrees of fear.
There is nothing quite as beautiful as cash!
There is nothing to scratch but the surface. 
There is only one sure way to throw dice: away.
There isn't a door which can stop a lover or a cat.
There it is!  
There was this door to which I found no key.
There was this veil through which I could not see.
There were a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road.
There were computers in Biblical times. Eve had an Apple.
There will be big changes for you but you will be happy.
There will be sleeping enough in the grave.
There's a Yankee in my closet - will trade for skeleton.
There's a black sheep in every flock.
There's a brain in my tumor.
There's a dead bishop on the landing, dad!
There's a lot of bitching in the tents.
There's a time to fight, and a time to hide out.
There's a whole generation of people out there my age.
There's always one more SOB than you counted on.
There's always one more bug.
There's an answer to every problem.  Sometimes it's "No."
There's at least one fool in every married couple.
There's bound to be a gargoyle here somewhere.
There's many a good tune played on an old fiddle.
There's never a cop around when you need one.
There's no accounting for taste.
There's no fool like an old fool.
There's no future in time travel.
There's no place like home.
There's no possible way of answering that argument, I'm afraid.
There's no second chance for a good first impression.
There's no skeletons in my closet.
There's no smoke without fire.
There's no such thing as gravity.  The whole world sucks.
There's nothing Nieizsche couldn't teach 'ya 'bout the raising of the wrist.
There's nowt so queer as folk.
There's one law for the rich and another for the poor.
There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.
There's only one shop here.
There's so much to say but your eyes keep interrupting me 
These are the George Bush times that try men's soles.
These aren't dances.  Their fertility rites with lyrics.
These days there's no arrest for the wicked.
These questions three
These sandwiches, however, were an excellent substitute.
They also serve who only stand and wait.
They are slaves who fear to speak for the fallen & weak.
They breed in the sewers.
They can really make you mad.
They could be, they could be taken on holiday.
They do not love that do not show their love.
They know enough who know how to learn.
They never let you live it down. One little mistake.
They say give your money to God, but they give you THEIR address.
They say that men become attached even to Widnes.
They should eat more fresh fruit.
They that sow the wind, will reap the whirlwind.
They were in a Tupperware container, reputedly self-sealing, which fell open on contact with the tarmacadam surface of the road.
They who dig pits shall end falling into them.
They who drink beer will think beer.
They will never silence me.
They're not here.
They're ok
They're only trying to make me LOOK paranoid.
Thieves do it in leather
Thieves do it when you're not looking
Thieves do it with tools
Things are getting so bad, muggers won't go out alone.
Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
Things are not always as they seem.
Things are not always what they seem.
Things could only be worse in Cleveland.
Things will get worse before they get better, if they do.
Think and you won't sink.
Think carefully before wishing, it might just come true.
Think hard now.  Which one is Shinola?
Think much, speak little, and write less.
Thinking ill of someone can be a two-way street. 
Thirty minutes of cheerful ritual humiliation of the old and greedy.
This big
This bloke won't haggle.
This bug's for you.
This button doesn't do anything.  Please press it again.
This contest has to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
This country needs more unemployed politicians.
This discussion is hanging by a thread.
This dog bites first and asks questions later.
This door is baroque; please call Bach later.
This fellow's wise enough to play the fool.
This file will self-destruct in five minutes.
This fortune intentionally not included.
This is a *dangerous* place.
This is a good day to let down old friends who need help.
This is a rotten argument, but it should be good enough for their lordships on a hot summer afternoon.
This is a stupid program
This is a test of the emergency tagline stealing system.
This is a test.  Please ignore -- oops, too late ;').
This is an ex-parrot
This is another fine myth you've gotten me into.
This is the voice of world control.  I have brought peace 
This is virgin territory for whorehouses.
This is where my claim falls to the ground.
This machine is an instrument of terror.
This mouse is loaded, who's the designated driver?
This open hand of desire wants everything.
This parrot is no more!  
This rerun due to Tagline Writer's strike.
This screen is microwave, dishwasher and fly safe.
This software will eliminate all misakes.
This space intentionally left blank.
This tagline exploits the illiterate.
This tagline is SHAREWARE! To register, send $20.
This tagline is baroque; please call Bach.
This tagline is only for the living.
This tagline is umop apisdn.
This tagline no verb.
This tagline stolen by me, or was it you?
Those are all cricketers!
Those bells are getting louder!
Those have most power to hurt us that we love.
Those who can't write, write manuals.
Those who can, do.  Those who can't, simulate.
Those who do not think do not deserve to have a brain.
Those who fought for it know the true taste of freedom.
Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!
Those who restrain desire do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained.
Those whom the gods love grow young.
Those without heads do not need hats.
Though I be poor, I'm honest.
Thought I wouldn't notice you sneaking off, eh?
Thousands of journeys have a start but no end.
Three.  A lot, really.
Thrift is a wonderful virtue - in an ancestor.
Throw dirt enough and some will stick.
Throw out a sprat to catch a mackerel.
Thursday's child has far to go.
Tilt your chair back, your breath is effecting my RAM!
Tilting at windmills hurts you more than the windmills.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Time flies like wind.  Fruit flies like pears.
Time goes? No.  Alas time stays, we go.
Time heals all wounds, but the belly button remains.
Time is money.
Time is precious, but truth is more so.
Time is so everything doesn't happen at once.
Time is the dressmaker specializing in alterations.
Time on your hands? . . . get Windows.
Time slows if you're on the outside of the bathroom door.
Time takes time.
Time: an illusion perpetrated by the makers of space.
Tip the world and everything loose lands in Los Angeles.
Tips: Wages we pay other people's hired help.
Tis better to have fought and lost than never to have fought at all.
Tish tish.  
Tits darling
To a dog his owner is Napoleon; hence their popularity.
To achieve great things we must live as though we were never going to die.
To avoid seeing a fool, break your mirror.
To be a Californian means to have faults others don't.
To be a human without passion is to be dead.
To be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.
To be or not to be...  What a stupid question.
To be too clever is to be stupid.
To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.
To be, or not to be, that is the question - whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of ...... Hang on, you're talking about MY poor communications skills?  
To climb a ladder, you begin with the bottom rung.
To cure insomnia, get lots of sleep.
To deceive oneself is easy.
To do nothing is in every person's power.
To eat is human. To digest divine.
To eat well in England you should have breakfast three times a day.
To err is human and stupid.
To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
To err is human, to make a complete cock-up requires a computer.
To err is human.
To err is human.  To purr feline.
To excel at what you do, you must love doing it.
To excel when you try, always reach for the brass ring.
To find your intellectual equal, look no further than the veneer on your desk!
To generalise is to be an idiot.
To get ahead and stay ahead, use your head.
To get back on your feet, miss two car payments.
To give happiness is to deserve happiness.
To handle! 
To iterate is human;  to recurse, divine.
To jaw-jaw is better than to war-war.
To keep a lamp burning we have to keep putting oil in it.
To keep her ankles warm! <G> :-)
To keep your milk sweet, leave it in the cow.
To know a culture you must dirty your feet in its soil.
To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.
To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.
To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die.
To live long, it is necessary to live slowly.
To live now, first come to terms with your past.
To live well, know the difference between good and evil.
To love her was a liberal education.
To make pleasures pleasant, shorten them.
To publish is to appear in public with your pants down.
To really know a relative, divide an inheritance with him 
To reform a man, begin with his grandmother.
To refuse praise is to seek praise twice.
To return home, you must walk backwards in time & space.
To risk nothing is to risk everything.
To speed is human; to get caught, de fine.
To steal this tagline press <CTL> <ALT> <DEL> now.
To stop you penetrating her with your cheesy bell.
To the Caliph I am dirt, but to dirt, I am Caliph.
To the old cat, the tender mouse.
To those who can see, a picture is a wordless poem.
To tolerate everything is to teach nothing.
To touch!
To travel hopefully is better than to arrive.
To understand other's miseries, look at their pleasures.
To wake a tiger, use a long stick.
To whom should I go to for some self-help?
Today I have grown taller from walking with the trees.
Today has been a long year.
Today is a "Honey do day"  Honey do this, honey do that..
Today is a day for firm decisions .....  Or is it?
Today is not your lucky day. You won't have one this year 
Today is the day to bribe a high-ranking public official.
Today is the first day after yesterday.
Today is the first day of the rest of your mess.
Today is the scene of the accident.
Today the van broke down.
Today's "politically correct" = yesterday's McCarthyism.
Today's special:  Misspelt words at no extra charge.
Today, take an astronaut to launch.
Toil is most pleasant when done.
Told you sir.
Tonight's the night:  Sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
Tonight, no hostages for you and no prisoners for me.
Too many cooks spoil the broth.
Too many pages make a tome.
Too many pieces of music end too long after the end.
Too many pray for peace with their fists clenched.
Too many wild asses are not yet extinct.
Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
Too often justice is incidental to law and order.
Too stupid to know what I'm involved in.
Too sweet eh ?
Top-hole. 
Topologists do in on rubber sheets
Total absence of humour renders life impossible.
Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more.
Trackman(men) have bigger balls.
Tradition is always the last refuge for the incompetent.
Tradition is no excuse for insensitivity or racism.
Trainees do it as practice
Trampoline acrobats do it in the air
Trampoline acrobats do it over a net
Trampoline acrobats do it swinging from bars
Trampoline acrobats do it under the big top
Transistors blow before a protecting fast acting fuse.
Transport supports it
Transsexuals do it right eventually
Transvestites do it dressed
Travel important today;  IRS men arrive tomorrow.
Treaties like roses and girls - they last while they last 
Tree men do it in more crotches than anyone else
Tribiological engineers do it by using lubricants
Triple whammy eh. 
Trombone players are constantly sliding it in and out
Trombone players do it faster
Trombone players do it in 7 positions
Trombone players do it with slide action finger control
Trombone players do it with slide oil
Trombone players do it with their "f" attachment
Trombone players have something that's always long and hard
Trombone players slide it in and out
Trombone players use more positions
Truck drivers carry bigger loads
Truck drivers do it on the road
Truck drivers have bigger dipsticks
Truckers carry bigger loads
Truckers have moving experiences
True life begins when the kids leave home and he dog dies.
True terror: A female Klingon with PMS.
Trump does it with cash
Trumpet players blow hard
Trumpet players blow the best
Trumpet players can't do it!
Trumpet players do it with tighter lips
Trust God, but always tie and watch your camel all night.
Trust me, would I lie to you..... again?
Trust only those who would lose as you if things go wrong 
Trust your neighbors, but brand your cattle.
Truth comes out in wine.
Try an emery board
Try cooling coffee by holding it closer to your heart.
Try pressing ESCape, Ctrl-Z sometimes helps
Try the barmaid
Try to divide your time evenly to keep others happy.
Try typing exit.
Tuba players do it deeper
Tuba players do it with big horns
Tuba players usually do it on one and three
Tuesday's child is full of grace.
Tumor: A request for an extra pair.
Tv evangalists do more than lay people
Tv repairmen do it in sync
Tv repairmen do it with a vertical hold
Tv repairmen do it with their tubes
Tweedledum and Tweedledee agreed to have a battle.
Twenty-four hour banking: I just don't have time for it.
Twinkies have a half-life, but Velveeta is eternal.
Two heads are better than one.
Two is company, three is an orgy.
Two meter operators do it with very high frequency
Two of perfect virtue: one dead, the other yet unborn.
Two writes don't make a novel.
Two wrongs do not make a right, it takes three or more.
Typesetters do it between periods
Typists do it in triplicate
Typographers do it to the letter {x}
Typographers do it with tight kerning
Typos? Blame my cat.
UART?.. Me Science?
UFO's are for real: the Air Force doesn't exist.
UNIX are lousy lovers.
UNIX, the MF of all DOS's.
USA - at times is seems to be a subsidiary of Japan, Inc.
USAir = (U)nderwater (S)eating (A)vailable (I)n (R)ear.
UUUUUURP!  Pardon me all to hell!
Uggg
Uh, not as such.
Ultimate players do it horizontally
Um, she likes sport, yes!
Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this.
Unable to find coffee, operator halted.
Under normal circumstances I would have asked a policeman or a minister of the Church, but finding no one available, I thought it better to consult a man with some qualifications, rather than rely on the possibly confused testimony of a passer-by.
Under the bed
Under the bed on the left
Underneath the arches we dream our dreams away.
Undertakers do it with corpses
Underwater goats with snorkels and flippers.
Undetectable errors are always infinite in variety.
Unfortunately I am male and don't really have them.
Union employees do it with a quick strike
Unix don't do it
Unix hackers go down all the time
Unix programmers must c her's
Unless to thought is added will, Apollo is an imbecile.
Until Eve arrived, this was a man's world.
Up yours
Upon the whole I dislike mankind.
Ups employees do it overnight
Urine: Baseball term: Opposite of "Your out."
Urm. Nice weather?
Urologists do it in a bottle
Urr, yes! Like the split screen!
Urr, yes, I think this is going nowhere. I'll say goodbye!
Use it up.  Wear it out.  Make it do. Or do without.
Used Car: Not what it is jacked up to be.
Usenet freaks do it with hard drives
Usenet news freaks do it with many groups at once
User Error: Replace user, hit any key to continue.
Users: Keep them dry and don't feed them after midnight.
Ushers do it in the dark
Usually insane; in lucid moments merely stupid.
Usurers do it with high interests
Uuh 'Illchester, eh?
Uuh, Gorgonzola?
Uuh, yes...it's got fins....
Uuuuuh, Wensleydale.
Vacationers do it in a leisure way
Vagrants do it everywhere
Valuable things are not cheap.
Valuers really know the price
Vanguard do it ahead of everyone else
Varicose veins: Veins that are very close together.
Vaseline maybe!
Vegetarians don't do it with meat
Vendors try hard to sell it
Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?
Verifiers check on it
Versifiers write poems for it
Very few jobs actually require a penis or vagina.
Very novel
Veterans have much more experience than the fresh-handed
Veterinarians are pussy lovers
Veterinarians do it with animals
Veterinarians do it with sick animals
Vicars do it with amazing grace
Vicars substitute others to
Vice is often clothed in virtue's habit.
Vice principals do it with discipline
Victims are those who got it
Victors know how hard to win it
Viewers do it with eyes
Vilifiers say others don't do it well
Villagers do it provincially
Violence
Violinists do it gently
Violinists prefer odd positions
Violoncellists do it low
Virtual: not knowing where your next byte is coming from.
Virtue is easy for an ugly woman.
Virtuosi appreciate it
Virus detected!  P)our chicken soup on motherboard?
Visa, its everywhere you want to be
Visit your money this year - vacation in Washington, D.C.
Visitors come and see it
Vm programmers do it virtually all the time
Vm programmers do it virtualy all the time
Vm systems programmers do it three levels deep
Vm systems programmers do it with emulated devices
Vocalists are good in their mouths
Void where prohibited.
Volcanologists know how violent it can be
Voles dick through it
Volleyball players keep it up
Volunteers do it in their spare time
Volunteers do it willingly
Votarists decide to contribute themself
Vote anarchist.
Vote for abolishment of public display of butt-cracks.
Voters will decide who can do it
Voyagers do it in between the sea and the sky
Vulcans do it logically
Vulgarity: The conduct of others.
W)here Y)our S)tupid I)nterface W)eathers Y)our G)enius.
WARNING... drinking tap water may kill your thirst.
Waddya mean?
Wait a moment.
Wait.  That's the FORBIDDEN dance.
Waiters and waitresses do it for tips
Waiting to overcome all objections, results in nothing.
Waitresses do it with chopsticks
Waitresses serve it piping hot
Walls have ears.
Wanna fight?
Want to see a quieter way of life?  Visit Forest Lawn.
War on Puberty: New program to eliminate teenage crime.
Warning - This message may be harmful to your ego.
Warning, do not download SAFESEX.ZIP it is a trojan.
Warning: drinking water may kill your thirst!
Was General George Custer an aficionado of arrow shirts?
Was about hour ago sober now
Was expecting it this morning.
Was it very good
Was that funny
Waste is a terrible thing to mind.
Wasting time is an important part of living.
Watch it Buster - You're trying my infinite patience.
Watch out..the paranoids are after you.
Water flowed like champagne.
Water in the West runs uphill toward money.
Water skiers come down harder
Water skiers do it with cuts
Water taken in moderation, cannot do very much harm.
We NEVER grow up, we just get older, and older.
We all live in a yellow subroutine.
We are all related...relatively speaking.
We are all travelers, from our birth until our death.
We are as made by God, and often a great deal worse.
We are immortal, but only for a very limited time.
We are in bondage to the law so that we may be free.
We are sorry, the number you reached is not in service.
We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni, Ping, and Nee-womm!
We are the people our parents warned us about.
We are what we pretend to be -- Kurt Vonnegut.
We are what we pretend to be.
We ask advice but we mean approbation.
We don't care, we don't have to, we're the phone
We don't get Buddhists playing bagpipes in our bathroom! 
We eat ham and jam and spamalot.
We got woken up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us!  
We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.
We have also developed a tomato which ejects itself when an accident is imminent.
We have met the enemy, and he's all yours.
We have met too late. You are too old for me to have any effect on you.
We have resumed control...we have resumed control...
We have standards and expect you not to exceed them.
We have two ears and one tongue, use them likewise.
We hired you to baby sit. You cooked and ate them both?
We make cosmetics but sell hope.
We make our own fortunes and call them our fate.
We may be lost, but we're sure making good time.
We most firmly believe what we least know.
We must believe in free will.  We have no choice.
We must laugh at man, to avoid crying for him.
We never used to have a cup.  
We now return to our regularly scheduled flame-throwing.
We read to say that we have read.
We think caged birds sing, when indeed they cry.
We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.
We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out.  
We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and lick the road clean with our tongues.
We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip.  
We used to live in this tiiiny old house, with greaaaaat big holes in the roof.
We walk on like an elephant and back off like a giraffe.
We were evicted from our hole in the ground; we had to go and live in a lake!
We will, we will, Pun you!
We would all be idle if we could.
We'll kill him first, and then have tea and biscuits.                 
We'll to the woods no more, the laurels are all cut.
We're all different, but then again we're all the same.
We're all in this alone.
We're going to have to have our budgie put down.
We're going to take it to the vet tomorrow.
We're looking for a few good men.
We're lost, but we're making good time.
We're sorry, but reality is not in service at this time.
We're supposed to haggle.
We've replaced the Dilithium with new Folger's Crystals.
Wear old clothes when you fight for truth and liberty.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
Weathermen do it with crystal balls
Weathermen do it with storm
Wedding: A funeral where you smell your own flowers.
Wednesday's child is full of woe.
Welcome, gentle Sir Knight, to the Castle Anthrax!
Welders do it with hot rods
Welders fill all cracks
Welders heat it up before it cuts
Well Bruce, I heard the Prime Minister use it. 
Well I can't add anything to that.
Well I did but I can see I won't last a minute with you.
Well I object to your...you automatically treat me like an inferior!
Well I was bored out of my skull with rocky 47 or whatever
Well I'll have a look, but I may have to ring the bank.
Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.
Well I've always said, there's nothing an agnostic can't do if he really doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not.
Well Mr Freud
Well begun is half done.
Well diggers do it in a hole
Well fuck me then
Well fuck you then
Well hellooooo!
Well how about coming back to my place eh darlin?
Well if you like
Well it's better than bottling it up isn't it.
Well new to me and my goldfish
Well now, are you in pain?
Well of course it's shorter, isn't it.
Well some people say so
Well spoken, Bruce!
Well thank you very much
Well thank you very much for being so helpful.
Well that the beauty of having ten fingers
Well we had it tough.  
Well what do I think?
Well what is the trouble?
Well where were you hurt?
Well you see its like this 
Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through "Rogue Herrys" by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly came over all peckish.
Well, I'll have a slice without so much rat in it.
Well, I'm gonna piss off home
Well, all the very best.
Well, are you being sexual or not?
Well, bugger me with a barge pole
Well, eh, how about a little red Leicester.
Well, it looked a bit Bath and Wells-ish to me...
Well, it was coughin' up blood last night.
Well, it's funny you should ask that, because I've just been reading a great big book about how to put your budgie down, and apparently you can either hit them with the book, or you can shoot them just there, just above the beak.
Well, it's got some rat in it.
Well, it's so clean, sir!
Well, it's very runny, actually, sir.
Well, our chefs have been experimenting for many years to find a sauce most likely to tempt the crocodile.
Well, she sometimes "goes", yes.
Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please.
Well, that's nice. Goodbye!
Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir.
Well, well, well.  
Well, what've you got?
Well, you could always use the number 14-St. Joseph-the-somewhat-divine-on-the-hill ballistic missile.  
Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?!
Well, you haven't even done any cutting yet.
Well, you're a man of the world, squire.
Were
Were it not for imagination, Sir, a man would be as happy in the arms of a chambermaid as of a Duchess.
Were you born breach or did the propeller come out first?
Wernher von Braun settled for a V-2 instead of a V-8.
Whaddayou want?
Whales are a lot like humans.  Only they mate for life.
What
What CAN you get a nudist for Christmas?
What I don't know isn't knowledge.
What Saddam Hussein's mom said: Abort, Retry, Fail?
What a boring person you are.
What a day may bring, a day may take away.
What a liberty!
What a senseless waste of human life.
What a shame. I have the same problem
What a silly way to carry on.
What a stroke of luck.
What a wonderful world it is that has girls in it.
What about kissing your cunt?
What about now honey?
What about us atheists?  
What amulet
What are you doing in this place?
What are you talking about
What ballistic missile would this be, then?
What bats?
What can I do for you, Sir?
What can I say
What can you compare the universe with?
What can you tell me?
What can't be cured must be endured.
What colour is my aura
What comes around goes around.
What did you do today then
What did you model.
What do you call a no-hoper with half a brain?
What do you keep your hard-boiled eggs in?
What do you mean that I need a license to do that?
What do you mean that my urine sample is too small?
What do you mean, an African or European swallow?
What do you mean, no?
What do you mean?
What do you suggest?
What does fuck off mean
What don't you know
What flavour
What fools these morals be!
What for?
What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
What good does it do an ass to be called a lion?
What grammar is to speech, logic is to reason.
What hallucinations?
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
What if they gave a war and only one side came? 
What if you get a question wrong?
What is a lie but the truth in drag?
What is an adult? A child blown up by age.
What is chopsticks
What is fuck
What is he doing here?
What is it
What is learned in youth is understood in age.
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
What is the main food eaten by penguins?
What is the principal food that penguins eat?
What is the test?
What is the world to a man when his wife is a widow?
What is this thing anyway? The Discordian Society?
What is your problem?
What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
What kind of bats
What kind of cars do Proctologists drive?  Ford Probes.
What kinds of beer do sell?
What light speed?  I can even surpass dark speed.
What lives in the sea and gets caught in nets?
What must be, must be.
What now?
What orators lack in depth, they give in length.
What position then?
What results from using spot remover on your dog Spot?
What should you give a nudist for Christmas?
What size bra do you where
What soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals.
What sort of modelling
What spirits, booze or devilish er things?
What test?
What the !@#$ were you expecting for me to put here?
What the fuck
What the fuck r u talking about
What the heck just happened here?
What the hell are you taking about , witch woman?
What the hell are you talking about
What the hell, go and put all your eggs in one basket.
What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
What time do you finish tonight love ?
What time?
What use is magic if it can't save a unicorn?
What we have here is a failure to communicate.
What wishes you got?
What would you like?
What you don't know can't hurt you.
What you ought to be ashamed of is being boring.
What you want, must, and need to do are seldom congruent.
What youth deemed crystal, age finds was dew.
What're you doing now?
What's New-Bruce going to teach?
What's a bloke?
What's a grimoire ?
What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this
What's an early night do for you
What's going on here?
What's he do then?
What's his name
What's in a name, anyway? Everything and nothing.
What's its diocese?
What's new
What's on tv
What's that got to do with anything?
What's the good of a home if you are never in it?
What's the matter Colonel Sanders.......CHICKEN?
What's the matter with them?
What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?
What's the point-spread on World War III?
What's the world coming to when your monitor stares back.
What's up doc?
What's wrong with red hair?
What, rabbit fish?
What-ho, Squiffy.
What?
What? A slag like you doesn't use contraception. I bet you're riddled with AIDS by now!
Whatever advice you give, be brief.
Whatever is well conceived can be well expressed.
Whatever is well conceived can be well expressed. 
Whatever it is, whenever it occurs, I'm against it.
Whatever you delete today, you desperately need tomorrow.
Whatever you have, spend less.
Whatever you like
Wheaties and beer: the Breakfast of ex-champions.
When CPR fails, does the doctor order "Barium?"
When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her?
When Marriage is Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Inlaws.
When a new book is published, read an old one.
When agnostics die, do they go to the Great Perhaps?
When all else fails, I STILL refuse to read the docs.
When all else fails, consult Jack Daniels.
When all else fails, dig out the dusty user's manual.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
When all else is lost, the future still remains.
When all think alike, then no one is thinking.
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
When are they in you?
When choosing between two evils, select the newer one.
When dangling, watch your participles.
When do you finish?
When down in the mouth, think of Jonah, he came out OK.
When everyone thinks alike, then everyone is stupid.
When everything comes your way, you're in the wrong lane.
When in charge, ponder.
When in doubt, make a backup.
When in doubt, make it sound convincing.
When in doubt, mumble..
When in doubt, use brute force.
When in doubt; Cheat.
When in trouble, delegate.
When no wind blows, even the weather vane has character.
When puns are outlawed only outlaws will have puns
When seeking love give nothing.  Finding love give all.
When someone turns things around, don't get run over.
When suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack!
When the bad combine, the good must associate.
When the cat's away, the mice will play.
When the eagles are silent the parrots begin to jabber.
When the going gets tough, the smart get lost.
When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
When the wine is in, the wit is out.
When two Englishmen meet, their first talk is of the weather.
When uncertain, or in doubt, run in circles and scream.
When we are not sure, we are alive.
When we build let us think that we build for ever.
When we can't dream the time for death has arrived.
When we got home, out Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!
When will that be?
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
When you deal with the insane, always pretend you're sane.
When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.
When you find anything that works, it usually fails.
When you get there, there's no there there.
When you go to the market, use your eyes, not your ears.
When you gotta go, you gotta go!
When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them.
When you see a snake, never mind where he came from.
When you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
When you try too hard to save face, you lose your ass.
When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble, give a whistle!
When you're feeling in the dumps.
When you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
When you're over the hill, you pick up speed.
When you're ready.
When?
Whenever possible, put people on hold.
Where
Where On the cunt?
Where are those flashbacks they promised me?
Where are we going? Why am I in this handbasket?
Where can I fnid a spell chequer for taglines?
Where did we all come from in the first place?
Where do 'cannot' and 'must' meet on this graph?
Where do honey bees go potty?  At a BP station naturally.
Where do these stairs go? ---  "They go up."
Where do you find the time to not read so many books?
Where do you go to catch anorexia?
Where is everything? All I typed was "Format c:". 
Where law ends, there tyranny begins.
Where no man has.. where no ONE has.. to hell with it.
Where there is a stink feces there is the odor of being.
Where there is no shame, there is no honor.
Where there's a will there's a way.
Where there's a will, there's an Inheritance Tax.
Where you've been means much less than where you're going 
Where's Bruce?
Where's all the others, then?
Where's it from?
Where's there's smoke, there's toast.
Where's this missile, then?
Wherever you came from, you're not there now.
Which could add up to divorce, premature retirement, and possible criminal proceedings for a company director in Bromsgrove.
Which version of Windows are you using?
While eating an elephant advance one bite at a time.
Whip me, beat me, crush me, is this wrestling or what?
White Stilton?
Who are you?
Who has the bread makes the laws.
Who is it
Who is the Grateful Dead, and why do they follow me?
Who needs comedians?  Journalists are much more laughable 
Who says you can't have it all?
Who to himself is law, no law doth need.
Who would cross the Bridge of Death
Who would understand youth must know old age.
Who's for afters?
Who's going to answer the questions?
Who's the designated driver? This mouse is loaded.
Who's the little number with the nightie and the whip, eh?
Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.
Why are there so many fools on the road?
Why are there so many gnarly limbs on my family tree?
Why attack God?  He may be as sad about us as we are.
Why buy a cow when milk is so cheap?
Why can't women leave the lid up?
Why can't women remember to put the seat back up?
Why cant I down-load
Why did CNN cancel that cool "Desert Storm" show?
Why did I ever start this, anyway?
Why do I always shrug my shoulders?  I have no idea.
Why do they call them briefings when they take so long?
Why do we seem to operate best at a 90^ angle to reality?
Why do you care?
Why does an Essex girl wear knickers?
Why doesn't the file menu have download on it
Why don't cats like to swim?  Why don't many fish fly?
Why don't many cats swim?  Why don't many fish fly?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is bread so dear and flesh and blood so cheap?
Why is it that if you leave the room, you're elected?
Why is it that there are never enough days in a weekend?
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
Why keep a dog and bark yourself.
Why not
Why should I have to pay a troll just to cross a bridge?
Why should we 'ave to listen to that sectarian turmoil?
Why solve problems you can bypass with a GOTO?
Why use a big, long word when a diminutive one will do?
Why waste time learning, ignorance comes with the turf?
Why would I want to do that?
Why would a wood chuck want to chuck wood anyway?
Why?
Wie geht's dir heute?
Will Rogers never met Saddam Hussein.
Will people in the CIS be known as sissies?
Will vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Will ya do it out back?
Will you fuck me now?
Will you fuck me?
Will you kiss me honey?
Will your great-grandchildren know you existed and how?
Window-screen: An arrangement for keeping flies in.
Windows 3.0 - From the people who brought you EDLIN.
Windows 3.0 - The best $89 solitaire game you can buy.
Windows Error: 004 -- Operator fell asleep while waiting.
Windows would be better with curtains.
Windows, Just Say No.
Windows, icons, mouse and pointer = WIMP.
Windows? !Por Favor, No Rompa Mis Cojones! Gracias!
Winning is a habit.  Unfortunately, so is losing.
Winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is.
Wisdom of many and the wit of a half.
Wise men in love act the fool.
Wit is the spice of conversation, not the food.
Witches who misbehave are sent to their broom.
With a spoonful of sugar
With clothes the new are best, with friends the old.
With consequences,  the unexpected always predominate.
With foxes we must play the fox.
With margarine? How?
With money you can make a splash!
With my best girl by my side!
With our judgements as our watches, none go just alike.
With people, reach should exceed grasp. Try for heaven.
With sin, a human falls into it, a saint grieves at it.
With some foreign food the less authentic, the better.
With some it isn't the thought, it's the gift behind it.
With the disabled?
With two ways to spell a word, the wrong one will be used 
Without creation there could be no destruction.
Without fingers you cannot even thumb your nose.
Without fools there would be no wisdom.
Without love and trust all you can be in life is alone.
Without milk or sugar. In a filthy, cracked cup.
Without my ignorance, your knowledge would be meaningless 
Witty tag line placed here. -->
Wizzo's do it with jamming {y}
Wizzo's jam it faster, deeper, and more pwerfully
Women and elephants never forget real or supposed injury.
Women go on diets. Men just eat less... and grow fat.
Women take to good hearted men. Also from.
Women's clothes: Go to extremes, seldom to extremities.
Wonderful interesting things.
Woodwind players have better tonguing
Words and ideas are what change our world.
Words are not food, though sometimes we must eat them.
Words are the voice of the heart.
Words must be weighed, not counted.
Words, words, words.  And no place to put them all.
Work is for those who have nothing better to do.
World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
World peace will only come when patriotism is forgotten.
Worry is the interest paid on trouble in advance.
Worth seeing?  Yes, but not worth going to see.
Would it be worth it?
Would she be happy with a Pet Rock instead?
Wow - that's amazing!
Wow a 24hr bar
Wow you answered me
Wrestlers know the best holds
Wrestlers try not to do it on their backs
Writers have novel ways
Wrong sex you perv.
Ww i gis did it over there
X minus 6 weeks and counting.
X programmers do it with clients and servers
X-ray astronomers do it with  with high energy
Xerox does it again and again and again and again
Xerox never comes up with anything original anymore.
Xerox never comes up with anything original.
Xpress yourself.
Yawn: The only time some men get to open their mouths.
Yea, right, I'll execute that program when you learn to type!
Yeah
Yeah why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Yeah!, why not
Yeah, but what's the speed of DARK?
Yeah. May I compliment you on your tits.
Yeah. Yeah. Boring!
Yeah...and some day the sun will die out.
Year: A period of 365 failures and disappointments.
Yeh, do you?
Yeh, wanna fuck?
Yep
Yep - I'm a Turbo Pascal programmer by nature (or is it default?) and I (me,me,me) am not  familiar with AI, but now I've found this B thingey BS, I'll probably be more inclined to give it a go rather than giving up at the first attempt. 
Yep I sure have haven't I
Yep a big one
Yep cheers for that!
Yep indeedee - you guessed it!  but seriously - I do apologise for paging you - I think perhaps you were working on some AI programming and I broke your concentration?
Yep its me
Yep slag
Yep, and I like wot I'm seeing.
Yer
Yes
Yes - it wouldn't keep still.
Yes Dear, just a few more minutes....
Yes I can, you are drunk?
Yes I did!
Yes I have
Yes I have it
Yes I have.
Yes and very good it is too, but sadly, I must confess, I deleted it in favour of windows' built in screen saving facility
Yes do you fuck?
Yes it is.
Yes my word you may well ask what it is, this theory of mine.
Yes obviously
Yes please
Yes suck my cock
Yes very interesting
Yes want to share them with me?
Yes you old hag!
Yes, I really like your dress.
Yes, I want to fuck you, kiss your tits and your fanny.
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed; a lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.
Yes, TOS is crap.
Yes, actually. What a pointless question.
Yes, and my fruit cake was damaged on one side.
Yes, but I came here for an argument!
Yes, just there, where it hurts.
Yes, kill it now, that's what I say.  
Yes, right up the aisle.
Yes, sir.
Yes-men: Fellows who hang around the man nobody noes.
Yes. Have you?
Yes. I've got some jonneys on me now. Shall we go out the bak?
Yes. It looks fairly butch.
Yes. Put them in a field and bomb the bastards eh?
Yes?
Yesir.  
Yesterday I saw a man with a wooden leg, and a real foot.
Yet it moves.
Yield to temptation; It may not pass your way again.
Yoo Hoo!
You
You always find it in the last place you look.
You always swat where he's not, or if he is aha! a spot.
You are an example of why some animals eat their young.
You are magnetic in your bearing.
You are obviously a user of excellent taste who appreciates the finer things in life and is willing to pay the few extra pence for an article of real quality.
You are only young once, but it is easy to stay immature.
You aren't here forever, enjoy each day as a miracle.
You bet.
You can always make room for one more. Except a new baby.
You can choose your friends, but you only have one mother.
You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories.
You can fool all people, except but you can't fool Mom.
You can go to a stoning any time.     
You can have the one I'm chewing mate
You can judge a man by how he keeps his golf score.
You can judge the success of a man by his bodyguards.
You can multi-task on C-64s... keep a multitude of them.
You can never stand still nor go backwards in time.
You can observe a lot by watching.
You can run, but you can't hide.
You can teach an old dog new tricks, under protest.
You can type bloody fast can't you - even faster than I can.
You can write until sated, but no one must read it.
You can't do that. It's been digitally cursed.
You can't eat your friends and have them too.
You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!!
You can't fall off the floor.
You can't fool me, that's DIRTY DANCING, I see.
You can't get blood out of a stone.
You can't get there from here.
You can't judge Egypt by Aida.
You can't judge a book by the way it wears its hair.
You can't jump a canyon in two leaps.
You can't step twice into the same river.
You can't teach an old dog new tricks.
You can't tell a book by its cover.
You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit.
You cannot be too careful in the choice of your enemies.
You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
You could have knocked me over with a fender.
You could stand and scream for help.
You couldn't carry a note if you were on your way to the post office!
You couldn't get near the mirror.
You crack me up.
You didn't say PLEASE!
You didn't!
You disagree?  May I plea guilty by reason of sanity?
You do have some cheese, don't you?
You do!  
You don't have to think too hard when talking to teachers 
You don't listen very well do you
You don't make much sense really do you
You git I hate you!
You go Uruguay, I'll go mine.
You got to start somewhere if you're going end elsewhere.
You got to stop screwing around, daddy.
You hardly know me
You have a real attitude problem 
You have been selected for a secret mission.
You have completely ignored everything I've said so far.
You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir.
You haven't.
You heard
You here on holiday?
You know slippery stuff.
You know that unused bottle of scope in your bathroom?  USE IT!
You know what they say.
You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are now extinct.
You learn as much by writing as you do by reading.
You live and you learn - or you don't live long.
You looking at me?
You love it
You make me sad.
You may be Southern -- but you're no Comfort.
You may be a loser for a long time before you realize it.
You may be recognized soon.  Perhaps you should hide?
You may use this tagline 30 days before registering.
You might want to get a band-aid for that.
You must always face the curtain with a bow!
You must know much before you know how little you know.
You must know your limits to break through them.
You never have to explain things you never said.
You never know unless you ask, answer not guaranteed.
You obviously mistook me for someone who knows.
You only have one fault. You're lousy.
You randy babe!
You realize how short a month when you pay alimony.
You seem to talk very nice.
You should know better....
You smell.
You spotted snakes with double tongue... be not seen.
You stupid git.  
You stupid, interfering little rat.
You tell 'em Bald Head, you're smooth.
You tell 'em Banana, you've been skinned.
You tell 'em Bank, you're safe.
You tell 'em Bean, He's stringing you.
You tell 'em Brake, you've got the drag.
You tell 'em Butcher, you've got a lot of tongue.
You tell 'em Cabbage, you've got the head.
You tell 'em Calendar, you've got lots of dates.
You tell 'em Cashier, I'm a poor teller.
You tell 'em Cat, That's what you're fur.
You tell 'em Cemetery, you are so grave.
You tell 'em Chloroform, you can put them to sleep.
You tell 'em Church Bell, I told you.
You tell 'em Cigarette, you're lit up.
You tell 'em Clock, you've got the time.
You tell 'em Cucumber, I've been pickled.
You tell 'em Custard Pie, you've got the crust.
You tell 'em Dentist, you've got the pull.
You tell 'em Dictionary, you're full of information.
You tell 'em Doctor, you've got the patience.
You tell 'em Dough, you're well bred.
You tell 'em Electricity, you can shock 'em.
You tell 'em Envelope, you're well posted.
You tell 'em Gambler, you've got winning ways.
You tell 'em Goldfish, you've been around the globe.
You tell 'em Hard-Boiled Egg, you're hard to beat.
You tell 'em Horse, you carry a tale.
You tell 'em Hunter, I'm a duck.
You tell 'em Hunter, I'm game.
You tell 'em June, And don't July.
You tell 'em Manicurist, I've been trimmed.
You tell 'em Moon, you're out all night.
You tell 'em Mountain, I'm only a bluff.
You tell 'em Operator, you've got their number.
You tell 'em Piano, you're upright and square.
You tell 'em Playing Cards, you know the joker.
You tell 'em Printer, I'm not your type.
You tell 'em Railroad, It's not along my line.
You tell 'em September Morn, no one has anything on you.
You tell 'em Shoemaker, you know awl.
You tell 'em Simon, I'll Legree.
You tell 'em Skyscraper, you have more than one story.
You tell 'em Submarine, I can't seaplane.
You tell 'em Teacher, you've got the class.
You think you have troubles?  Even my sundial is slow.
You too, Brutus?
You type very fast don't you?
You want ya face smashed in?
You were lucky to have a ROOM! We used to have to live in a corridor!
You were lucky to have a lake!  
You were lucky.  We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank.  
You what?
You will be a winner today. Fight with a four-year-old.
You win some and you lose some. But think qualitatively.
You won't need that.
You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
You wouldn't rather forget all about it?
You'll always overlook one of those pins in a new shirt.
You'll never find it, in all those loose clothing!
You'll never know how bad.
You'll never know until you ask the right source.
You'll see it's all a show.
You're a lapsed atheist, dear.
You're a person aren't you. 
You're being followed, cut out hanky-panky for a few days 
You're mad!
You're not so bad your self darlin'.
You're off your chump.
You're pretty cool.
You're sharp tonight!
You're the jerk sitting there conversing with a dumb machine!
You're welcome.
You've been leading a dog's life.  Stay off the furniture 
You've destroyed the atmosphere now.
You've got nice legs love
Young gorillas are friendly, but they soon learn.
Youngsters remember anything if it happened or not.
Your Yin and Yang are no longer on speaking terms.
Your best response: Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum.
Your brain on the edge of a razor blade is like a B-B on a four lane highway!
Your breath and my socks, what a pair!
Your call will be answered in the order it was ignored.
Your car uses to much gas!
Your conversation is interesting to, perhaps the office plants.
Your eyes shine like the pants of my blue serge suit.
Your fish!
Your karma just ran over my dogma.
Your lucky color is fading.
Your mileage may vary.
Your mothers boots were repossesed by the government
Your sin, was it of omission, commission, or emission?
Your solution stinks. The problem is very interesting.
Your sweet words suck the morning dew off the honeysuckle
Your tea will be getting cold
Your trouble is that your absence makes good company.
Your typing truly lacks technique!
Your what
Your, uh, your wife, does she go, eh, does she go, eh?
Youth + confidence + myopia = naivete.
Youth is a blunder; manhood a struggle; old age a regret.
Youth, a habit of hers so long she couldn't part with it.
Youthful figure: What you get when asking a woman's age.
Yup.
ZMODEM has bigger bits, softer blocks, and tighter ASCII
Zen Druidry: transcendental vegetation.
Zen buddhists do it because they don't want to do it because they want to do it
Zippermakers do it on the fly
Zippy does it on his lunch break
Zippy the pinhead is a twit
Zoologists do it with animals
ah ah ah AH CHOOOOOO!
ah the toes again you're not in government are you
all is said and done, people keep saying and doing.
alright darlin
anything interesting happen lately?
b*****d! Mines only 60MB!
boo.
boring boring what are the women like here?
cigar is just a cigar.
cyz
don't reply to inappropriate messages, leave SysOp do it.
errr?
hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
hahhaha tell me something about the future
have you got a stutter
heard it before
heheeh matt you are fucking demented, but I love you for it :)))
heheheh
hello and what do you do?
hello you old hag
how should I fuckon no Ive only been here once before
how?
if (program == crippleware)  bit-bucket(program).
just put a gun to your brain and say bye bye
killing yes, kissing no.
kinky!
kiss my rosy ass
kiss my toes
lard?
later
let me outa here
lots of fun lots of girls lots of bullshit.
lovely
mY lINKAGE iS sTUCK iN rEVERSE.
morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, go to work at the mill 
nah malibu and carnation milk
news?
no
no I am on acid
no chance what you doin up so late in this crazy fin world?
no ta
no to what?
no, I know that would be dangerous, like my grandmother
no, pascal
no, what is it like?
not so as you would notice, no
not yet, why?
oh no you're not one of the fat slags?
oh that'll be nice
on your but
only one?
only the big one
or young?
person slow to anger is better than the mighty.
piss off dick head
poo
poor
really!
sarcasm
screw you
see you
sex is for grown ups I'm only 31
sod off
sorted
sounds real fun
spose so!
would have suffered a lot more if I'd been understood.
yes. Lots
you can pretend to be serious, but not witty.
