What the weapons do:
(Some (most) of these descriptions from The Mark I SuperScream Grenade Machine)

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Standard      Well-known and loved!

Nail Bomb     Demonstrated by 'The Man' Arnie in his latest movie, the
              patented PopUp-BlowDown SteelRain (tm) technology is
              guaranteed to bring a sparkle to your eyes!

Nail Launcher Making use of our new EZKill AntiGrav NailHail (tm) module,
              the Nail Launcher spins in the air firing spikes in all
              directions.

BCB           Carrying on our long and proud tradition of MultiCluster
              SubPod Ammuition (have you tried our FamilyFun GigaTon Nuke?),
              the Bouncing Cluster Bomb releases five (count 'em, but don't
              stand too close folks!) PainProximity BounceBombs (tm), hopping
              around the area, looking to do your work for you.

RPG           The tried-and-true Rocket Propelled Grenade, now modified
              to be launched from your grenade thrower instead of the
              rocket launcher! Have more fun while carrying less bulky
              weaponary!

Ricochet      The Ricochet, affectionally called 'rubber-nose' by our
              satisfied customers, uses the patented HappyBounce (tm)
              technique to find the target.
              No more tired 'tink...tink......tink' for you, this one will
              bounce clear down the hall!

Glue Grenade  Our latest technological break-through, the Glue Grenade
              with its recently patented SlickSuperStick (tm) coating
              (in eight designer colors) will stick to anything!
              They'll remove themselves in a hurry - and so will your
              opponents!

MG PointDef   Ideal for guarding your back or blazing a path up front,
              the new MaimGun PointDefense System Mk II (tm) will fire
              a stream of SerrationSpikes (tm) at any monster foolish
              enough to hang around! Drop them down a pit and listen
              to the pain!

Vampire Bolt  Feed off the life of your enemy! The first result of our
              profitable partnership with "666 Inc." (the FunFactory),
              this bolt will pump your opponents life force straight
              into your blood stream!

MediBolt      Yes! By popular demand from the Coop players, here is the
              all-new, all-singing, all-dancing MedicBolt, placing the
              healing power right where it belongs: in your hands!

AP            Now available in a new version with even more penetration
              power, the trusty AddPainArmorPiercing (tm) ammo with its
              UU (UndepletedUranium) core is guaranteed to pass through at
              least four Shamblers in a row!

Radio Tag     Designed by our special freelance employee Mr. Nukem (just
              back from Earth, and boy does he have a story to tell!),
              this grenade is not only remote-detonated using the simple-
              to-use hand-held DoomDetonator (with lizard-skin clip-on
              belt case!), it also sticks to your enemy!
              If he's a good boy and does as he's told, you might even
              defuse the grenade - or add another one for the sure kill!

Ammo Cache    Your buddy in need of help? Using the very latest in high-
              tech hardware compression algorithms, a spinoff from our
              very successfull DehydratedMonster (just add hot water) (tm)
              technology, you can now launch some of your ammo to be picked
              up like a backpack!

Evil Eye      The EvilEye (tm) homing missile is just what the doctor
              ordered! Low turning radius combined with maximum killing
              power and our new GoodGuy/DeadMeat IFF technology makes
              this one a must-have!

Flare         Tired of trying to see in the dark? Infrared goggles
              getting you down? The SureStick BrightLight (tm) wall flare
              will lighten up your life!

Camera        Want to see around the corner? Check out the murky depths
              of some suspect pool? See where the suspect wind pipe leads?
              Just deploy a CatEye (tm) grenade and take all the time in
              the world having a good look around!

Nail Probe    Our newly developed HAL9001 SuperSmart ArtificialMalice (tm)
              software is a literal smash-hit in this nasty little package!
              Send the Nail Probe gliding down the hall and around corners,
              sit back, and listen to the screams of monsters being
              perforated with high-speed PainPin (tm) ammunition!

Light Bomb    Moving target got you down?  Dodging player too hard to
              hit?  Here's your chance to make some frags!  Drop
              one of these babies and your enemy feels like he's
              looking at the sun.

GuidedMissile Want to look your enemy straight in the eye when you
              kill him?  Is your enemy around a corner?  Either way
              the guided missile is what you need.  Our new advancements
              in micro-technology allow us to stick a remote-controled
              propulsion system plus an added view-cam so you can
              see where you're going.  Enjoy!

Flame Thrower This little novelty allows you to fight fire with fire.
              It uses ShellFire (tm) technology ultilizing the shells
              for a very formitable weapon.  Now you can burn your
              opponents to death in the blink of an eye.  Doesn't work
              well under water.

ProximityBomb Provides a blast no one wants to get near.  Blows whoever
              gets close across the room and puts them to a quick death.
              Stick this one on a wall and run, it activates after three
              seconds.

BFG           This one requires no explaination.  Has the same firing
              mechanism we've all grown to love.  The only problem is
              it eats as much ammo as we've expected it always to.

Tornado Bomb  Harness the awsome power of the wind with this unique little
              device.  Throw one of these in a room and a whirlwind will
              be created with our new MegaStormSuckIn (tm) advancments.

ConfusionBomb This new patented WhereAmI (tm) technology will confuse
              someone so much, they won't be able to hit the broad side
              of a wall with a double shotgun.  Use sparingly, it uses
              eight cells.

AirGun        This amazing gun has patented BlowCleanAway (tm) technology
              allowing you to blow enemies, and even items to a more
              suitable place.

Caution: not a toy. Not suitable for children under six years of age as
parts may be inhaled, causing detonation, sudden death, and high cleaning
bills.

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