This file supplied for your enjoyment, by the QcP -

                                  Infamous
                                The Poop List
                                   ^

- Ghost Poop -
You know you've poop.  There's poop on the toilet paper, but
there's no poop in the toilet.

- Teflon Coated Poop -
Comes out so slick, clean, and easy that you don't even
feel it.  No traces of poop on the toilet paper.  You have to look for
the poop in the toilet to be sure you did it.

- Gooey Poop -
This has the consistency of hot tar.  You wipe your ass 12 times
and it still doesn't come clean.  You end up putting toilet paper in
you underwear so you don't stain it.  This poop leaves permanent skid
marks in the toilet.

- Second Thought Poop -
You're all done wiping you ass and you're about to
stand up when you realize it...you've got to poop more.

- Pop A Vein In Your Forehead Poop -
This is the kind of poop that killed
Elvis.  It just doesn't want to come out until you're all sweaty,
trembling,  and purple from straining so hard.

- Richard Simmons Poop -
You poop so much, you lose 10 pounds.

- Right Now Poop -
You better be within 30 seconds a toilet.  Usually it has
it's head out before you get your pants down.

- Green Poop -
Comes the day after eating a big spinach salad.

- King Kong or Commode Choker Poop -
This poop is so big that you know it won't
go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks.  A coat
hanger works well.  This kind of poop usually happens at someone else's
house.

- Cork Poop aka Floaters -
Even after the third flush, it's still
floating in there.  My God!  How do I get rid of it?!  This poop also
usually happens at someone else's house.

- Wet Cheeks Poop -
This poop hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash
that gets your ass all wet.

- Wish Poop -
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poop.

- Cement Block Poop or Oh God! Poop -
You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you poop.

- Snake Poop -
This poop is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb
and at least 3 feet long.

- Mexican Food Poop aka Screamers -
You'll know it's alright to eat
again when your asshole stops burning.

- Beer Drunk Poop -
This happens the day after the night before.  Normally your
poop doesn't smell too bad, but this poop is BAD!  Usually there's
someone standing outside waiting to use the bathroom.  This kind of
poop also usually happens at someone else's house.

- Burning Ass Poop -
Self explanitory.  Usually occurs after eating Burning
Mouth Indian food.

- Firecracker Poop -
This poop comes out in little explosions.  Like a string of
firecrackers.  Just when you think the last blew, wait, there's
more poop to come.  Interspersed with flagellations.

- Volcano Poop -
Not liquid and not solid, this poop sort of emerges from your
ass in a continuous flow. Usually happens when you are in a hurry or
ate Indian food the night before.

- Nuclear Poop -
One huge King Kong log explosion followed by a solid
outpouring of poop in varying textures and densities.  Asshole
radiates for awhile afterwards.

- Shy Poop -
Combination of Wish Poop and Second Thought Poop.  It's going to
come out.  No it's not.  Yes it is. No it's NOT.  Best bet is to force
to become the Pop A Vein in Your Forehead Poop.

- Sex Poop -
Incredible urge to deficate caused by increased movement of
internal organs due to the act of sex.  This poop kind of sneaks up
on you. Your never quite sure whether it will emerge in solid or
gaseous state.

- SHIT! Poop -
This poop gives you ample warning of it's impending arrival.
Yet, you are still unable to find ac(commode)ations.  Usually on long
airline flights with equally long latrine lines, during traffic, in the
middle of a conference or meeting.  If serviced early enough, it is
Teflon poop.  If late enough, Cement Block Poop.

- Baby Poop -
Self explanatory.  Output often more attractive and seemingly
palatable then input.  Comes in a variety of colors and textures.

- SLOW Poop -
Much like Shy Poop except you have the feeling of continuous,
albeit miniscule progress.  Coaxing and straining does not help.
Get a good book and relax. This poop is in no hurry.

- AcId ShIt -
Occurs the morning after taking two hits of acid and getting
the munchies.  You're not quite sure what it is you ate, but from
the looks of this poop, it must have been something really gnarly.
May come in colors, might just seem that way. Spend more time
admiring it then delivering it.


(rear) End.


Remember, the politically correct term for Poop is:
Nutritionally Challenged Output

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