To All You Poor People Who Downloaded This....[Doom95]
        This .wad was in fact completed in 1995, and I have decided to let
it out into the wild.  I SEVERELY doubt that ANYONE will actually enjoy
Doom95, because it is too damn strange and ego-centric; basically if you
don't know me, you won't know what the hell is going on.   But, that said,
I also believe that SOME very very VERY possessed people will still download
it and perhaps even read this file.  <GOTCHA!!!>  Anyway, this .wad is 
going to make you wish you never bought DOOM, or at least wish that tools
like WINTEX, DMAUD, DMGRAPH and MIDI2MUS were never invented.  Here is
a run-down of the punishment you will be inflicting upon yourself should
you choose to actually PLAY this .wad:
        
        61 new sounds.... All VERY cheesy, made up of quotes from people 
                          I know and myself, about people I know and
                          myself; thus useless to you.  But most of 'em
                          involve 4-letter words or situations to 
                          make the average person vomit with delight.... ;)
        New Sprites....   Note the apperance of SMOKESCREEN t-shirts as
                          green armor, beer bottles & Malboros as health
                          bonuses, Tostitos and Salsa dip as MedKits; 
                          flannel shirts, other stupidity as well; all very
                          useless and trivial.  Annoyed yet ???? ;)
        New Monster....   If you're still thinking about playing this .wad,
                          this should make you turn back; replacing the pink
                          gorilla demons(spectres) is John Baker, wierdo
                          extraordinaire, a monster who flashes you to death
                          while quoting movies about sado-masochism.  I'm not 
                          making this up, fact is stranger than fiction... ;)
        New Music....     From the aforementioned never-heard-of-before-losers      
                          broke-up-before-they-actually-did-anything-but-still      
                          broke-up-10-years-too-late SMOKESCREEN is the song
                          "The Bottom Line" playing every time you complete a
                          level successfully.  Truly a good excuse to let 
                          yourself get killed.  Yeah, only ONE song.... ;)

WHAT?!? You're still reading this!  May the lord have pity on your soul,
but then again, perhaps someone who hates themselves as much as you must to 
read this IS IN FACT THE TARGET AUDIENCE FOR DOOM95!!!  Congratulations!!!

I suppose I should tell you how to play this mess for yourself, you obviously
aren't turning back....  You need to put DEUSF.EXE (included), FINISHUP.BAT
(included), DOOM95.WAD(included, duh) and 95ME.BAT in your DOOM directory;
it's probably either c:\doom or c:\doom_se.  First, run the FINISHUP program
--type 'finishup' and {return}--and DEUSF will launch and complete the
DOOM95 WAD.  With that done, to complete the experience, just type '95ME' and
{return} and DOOM will launch with the DOOM95.WAD.  

Well, that's it....  DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!!!!  

P.S. If for some reason you actually LIKED this mess, email me WHY at:
                        stav@planet.earthcom.net
     then check yourself in at the nearest mental institution, please....

                                TAKE CARE!!!!
