The Destinova Network presents:

An interview with Doctor Gibb

Your announcer and host, George Stark.

Good evening, tonight we present to you our interview with the famous (some say infamous) Doctor Gibb, professor of Gibbology at the QuakeLab Institute.

(audience applauds as Dr. Gibb takes the stage)

Dr. Gibb:

Good evening, kiddies!
Let me start with a question: How many of you out there have wished for a booby trap that would blow some unsuspecting slob into gibbulous gobbets of smoking meat?

(nearly every hand goes up)

Member of the audience:

Are you referring to the Quake C patch known as proximity mines, Doctor Gibb?

Dr. Gibb:

No, indeed! In fact, the device I am talking about, which is similar to the popular 'proximity mine' can be made without cumbersome Quake C code. In truth, it can be made with ordinary household items.

Now, I am sure all of you have seen those darling little exploding boxes in Quake - you know the ones I'm talking about; you shoot them and any fool stupid enough to be near them is blown to smithereens? Well, kiddies, that is item number one on our shopping list.

We'll need 4 or 5 of these in the #2 can labeled "misc_explobox2".

Item #2 can be found at your friendly Neighbourhood Survival Gun Store: a trap_spikeshooter with the optional Super Spike add-on which has become so popular these days.

(audience response:) Oooooooooohhhhh!

And from the Quake Industrial Light and Magic department, we'll need 3 trigger_once entities.

Shake 'em up and -

KABOOOOOOOM!!!!

Severed heads and body parts now on sale! Get 'em while they're warm, because this deal is smokin'!

Now, referring to the .map file I have here, you'll see that the 3 trigger entities are right next to each other. Why three, you ask? Well, during extensive tests at the QuakeLab, we found that, yes; it does indeed take three well-placed shots by a spikeshooter to 'pop the top on an explobox' (say that five times, really fast).

On average, only two shots are really necessary - but, why take unnessary chances?

The placement of the trap_spikeshooter is also important. In some editors, most notably the excellent editor by Ben Morris called Worldcraft, the spikeshooter must be 8 units above the nearest explobox; as a simple glance at the map file will amply illustrate. Note also, that the exploboxes are in close proximity to one another, although I believe that they can be placed up to 64 units apart and still detonate one another.

Audience member (the same LAMER as before):

Excuse me, Dr. Gibb, but, why use trigger_once entities? Wouldn't trigger multiple be better?

Dr. Gibb:

Excellent question, you simpering moron. Because, we want the trigger to fire the trap_spikeshooter once and then stop. We don't want it to keep on firing after the boxes have all exploded. You see, unlike ammo, powerups, health and other items you might find in a typical DeathMatch level, blown-up exploboxes don't respawn.

Another audience member (equally as ill-informed as the LAMER):

Why four or five boxes, Doctor? Wouldn't one do just as well. I've been blown to hell and back by one befo-

Dr. Gibb:

Yes, but, suppose your intended victim has someone with him? Hmmm? Suppose he has 200 health and is heavily armoured? Hmmmm? And, suppose he has just gotten his hands on every weapon known to Quakedom, has a full clip of ammo and is looking for your Johnny Fragbait ass? What about that?

HMMMMM?!!

Now, to continue, we make the triggers out of three brushes: 64 wide, 64 tall and 8 thick. Their 'Target' is the trap_spikeshooter which we've already Name(d) btrap1. Of course, you WILL want more than one of these lovely traps won't you?

The triggers are placed so close together that they trip almost simultaenously - bang!bang!bang! - and the misc_explobox2 (not the most patient of Quake's entities) won't put up with that shit.

The whole thing goes up goes up so quickly that the Victim never hears the triggers tripping or the shots going off. All he hears is -

Audience, en masse: KABOOOOOOM!!

Dr. Gibb (rubbing his hands together with satanic glee):

Yesssssss! And then, for some strange reason (we're still researching this at the QuakeLab), he's viewing the world sideways - almost as though he has become a disembodied spirit...

(muffled laughter from the audience)

Now, for the rest of it.

Looking once again at the map in Worldcraft... You ARE using Worldcraft, aren't you?

(whispering in audience - a few hands go up)

Ah! We have some connisiours among us! Have you REGISTERED yet?

(two hands falter, then lower in shame)

I see... (scowling)

As I was saying, looking at the map in Worldcraft, in the 3D Textured view, you'll notice that the floor is covered with a thin coat of water. Eight to 16 units deep should suffice. If we select that brush, then click View/Hide selected items, it disappears.

Now we can see the exploboxes. They are in a depression in the floor that is some 48 units deep. BUT! We can walk over them - even after they've exploded...

(audience members raise thier hands questioningly. Dr. Gibb motions for silence)

How is this possible, you ask? Because we have a thin sheet of glass over them. We create a brush, install it over the tops of the exploboxes, and texture it with the CLIPing texture. This renders it invisible, but - it can still be shot through, so any explosion occuring below will emanate upwards; killing the hapless victim who has set it off.

(dropped jaws and looks of astonishment at Dr. Gibb's devilish designs follow this statement)

This trap is best used in small corridors - no more than 128 units wide. Put it in several places in a maze-

Audience member (the LAMER again):

But, Dr. Gibb, why couldn't you put it in a darkened section of a hallway?

Dr. Gibb:

(sighs at the incredible stupidity of some people) Because, you twit, the exploboxes give off light. You can SEE them in a dark room! This wasn't true of the earlier versions of Quake, but as of 1.05, it is.

(having finsihed with the LAMER, Dr. Gibb continues)

The beauty of this trap is, that the triggers only fire in one direction. In the map file, you can see that we have 100% health, 200% armour and a Quake Power as bait for the greedy victim. He sees it. He gets it - and now, confident that he can really kick some ass and not get hurt too bad, he heads back down the corridor.

Let's see what happens...

KABOOOOOM!

Using an editor like (flourish of trumpets - pealing of bells - tons of confetti) Worldcraft, you can save the boobytrap portion as a prefab object. Just drop it on the map, rename the trigger Targets and the spikeshooter's Name and you're ready to wreak some serious havoc on the unwary.

If you want the triggers to fire from either direction (and some of you psychos would, I know your kind), make their direction point to zero degrees.

Remember that Quake triggers trip in the direction that the victim is travelling. If the triggers are pointing at 270 degrees, then someone heading in the direction of 90 degrees won't set them off. But if he's coming FROM the 90 degree direction, heading towards 270 degrees...

WaReZ D00d wannabe on the back row:

Hey! But what if he's walking in the 180 degree direction? and you have your triggers set for 0 degrees? Won't that set them off?

Dr. Gibb (an evil grin spreading across his features):

Bet your ass it will! So, listen up! If you want your triggers to trip when he's heading toward zero degrees, but NOT 180 degrees, then set them to 360 degrees!

WaReZ D00d wannabe on the back row:

Ohhh! That's how it's done! Thanks, Doctor Gibb!

Dr. Gibb (off mike as audience bursts into applause):

No problem, you psycho bastard.

George Stark:

Well, that's all we have time for tonight, folks! Thank you Doctor Gibb for these enlightening insights!

(Dr. Gibb bows and leaves the stage)

George Stark:

Well, kiddies, that's our show!

The preceding was brought to you by the warm, fuzzy folks at id Software, creators of such gentle classics as My Pretty Pony's Head and the Cabbage Patch Kidz Guide to Scalping (a complete set of stainless steel scalping knives included with every purchase!) and by Ben Morris (more cheap brass - ear-splitting bells - and a Ryder truck full of fertilizer and diesel fuel), author of THE premier Quake level editor, Worldcraft!

And kidz! Remember, with every purchase of a registered Worldcraft CD, you get a genuine Doctor Gibb secret decoder ring and a Death Certificate, signed in blood by Doctor Gibb himself! So don't delay, get yours today!

www.acdsystems.com/worldcraft/

It makes GREAT fool's stuffing for the whole family!

This is your announcer, George Stark, wishing you a bad night and reminding you to listen in every Thursday night to the QuakeCast with Mace Royer on the World Wide Web.

http://www.pseudo.com/netcast/shows/quake/ 

QuakeCast - where great minds shrink alike!                                               