Saig's Sound Pak!!
==================
 WELCOME! I have divised a SOUND PAK in my spare time from mapping, 
just to appease myself and maybe others as well! Now, my counterpart,
COREMAN (Double-Underline Text), is going to ask questions about the 
pak, and how to install it. Hed better behave if he knows whats good 
for him! On with the show! 

Whats in it?!?! I WANNA KNOW!
=============================
  Basically, its just sounds; its a sound pak! DUH! Nothin but sounds
to enhance and humour-fy your GLOOMing experience! Combined with
the crack technology (Winpak) and stunning brain power (ya right), this
pak has been created! WOW!

Sooo...what are the sounds like?
================================
  A whole new slew of sounds for the male player, new death sounds for 
the biotech (because the original ones BLEW), a brand-spanking new 
machine gun sound, NEW victory wav songs, and...um. Guess thats it. 
Hmph. Thought thered be more, but the male sounds are just too funny 
to resist!

Ok wank-job, whered ya rip the sounds from?
===========================================
  STFU! I dont need your criticism! Anyway, yea; most of the sounds
are from other various sources. Heres a nifty list to help
you out:

New Male Sounds
---------------
 Believe it or not, I scrounged up a version of the original Q1TEST,
and the death and pain sounds were too awesome to sit in CDROM forever.
I plugged em in, pumped em up a notch on the volume scale, and now
the Q1TEST Sounds will get the honor they deserve, IN GLOOM! WHOOO!

New Biotech Death Sounds
------------------------
 Carmageddon2 is a lovely game, and has lovely women screaming sounds 
when they get dismembered, so I added them in. If youre like me, you 
thought the old bio death sounds were pretty weak; these will fit your 
bill! Full of screaming anguish the biotech deserves everytime she dies
at the hand of a vicious, carniverous, polygonal spider! YEA!!!

New Machine Gun Sound
---------------------
 Is the old Machine Gun sound getting tiring? Is the constant blasting
numbing your skull? Apply new sounds to it to renew your faith in the
trusty Pulse Rifle! The new sound is appropriate to the style of the 
gun, and I feel its pretty nifty!

New Victory Wavs
----------------
 The humans get a nifty eruption of metal, thanx to SlipKnot. Hey, its
better than the original one that came with GLOOM (at least I think).

 The aliens get a depressing number for their tune, commendments go
to the orchestra who made the Total Annihilation CD. TA is great, and
the music is pretty cool for orchestra (odd). 

What else did ya do Numb-nutz?
==============================
 Hmm...well, I wrote this text with Infomercials in mind, hehe. HEY! 
Who you calling numb-nutz you piece of trash! Thats it!!!

   *POW* *BLAM* *SPLAT* *CRUNCH* *!B-O-O-O-M!*

Hah, eat that ya damn bitch!

Im sorry for my rudeness "Sir"...
Please tell me how to Install this pak
======================================
 Thats more like it. Ok its simple. Just follow the easy steps below!

Step 1: Open this damned Zip file with Winzip or whatever
Step 2: Unzip pak_.pak into your GLOOM directory within the Q2 Dir
Step 3: Rename the pak to what the next pak in your directory should
        be. If the last pak in the directory is pak3.pak, name this
        pak4.pak. 
Step 4: PLAY! Have fun and laugh at the st00pid humans as they scream
        out in new ways that will make you feel warm inside!

THANK YOU SIR! I will repay you someday!
========================================
 Yea you better, but first, I need to give credits to the people 
who I took the sounds from. 

 *First, id. Thanks for Q1TEST. The sounds are great. 
  (id, Q3A sux. Stop relying on mod-makers to keep your games alive!)

 *Second, thanks to SCI for Carmageddon2. A great game where you can
  unleash your pent up aggression onto defenseless civilians with
  5 tons of steel! W00P!

 *Third, I think I got the machine gun sound from Half-Life. Like
  a sound they didnt use in their game, but was still in the pak.
  Oh well, thanx for the free sound Valve.
 
 *Fourth, thank Slipknot and the Orchestra who made the TA CD. Nice
  tunes. They'll liven up your day and get you in the mood! Er...
  not THAT mood. 

Now...is that it Sir?
=====================
 Absolutely, go play at your hearts desire. If you hate the pak, go 
ahead and delete it, it wont bug me. If you have any good things to 
say, mail me at Saigf0ck@hotmail.com. I hardly ever get mail (loser),
so I will probably see you if I check my mail.

Ok...youre done right?
======================
 Of course; that is, unless you want another beating! Ill boot your
ass straight back to Jailbreak, and straight out of the gaming 
community you newbie ass lamer!

Yea right! Eat me ya dumb fuck!
===============================
 OH-ho-HOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU DIE!

*!WHAM!* *!POW!* *!*!*!K-A-B-O-O-O-M-M!*!*!*.....*SPLURCH*

HAH! Told ya not to be an asshole, but NOOOOOO! You had to take it
the hard way! If you ever get reincarnated, remind me to lodge a pick
axe in your spine you piece of shit! BWAHA!

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Skit Copyrights
---------------
 This skit was created with the idea of smashing COREMAN's skull in. I
had no direct permission from COREMAN to include him into this little
foray of fun, but who gives a shit. We all dispised him:) As for the
sounds, do whatever you want with them. Theyre not my property, so
you can add them in wherever ya want. Just, say you obtained them from
me first (gotta get some credit:>)

Extra Credit
------------
*Thanx Antony Barratt for WinPak. Simple utility, but its cool. 
*Thanx go out to MURPHY from Onecall. He gave me the idea of adding
 in the Q1TEST sounds to Gloom. Glad I took his advice!

The End
-------
 Yup, I hope this text was as enjoyable to read as the sounds are 
to listen to. I know I had fun mocking COREMAN and fake-killing him!
And, once more, if ya dont like the pak, just delete it. Or you can
give me sounds to add onto it, and I may just do so if theyre cool.
Youd get credit for the sounds of course:)

BYE!

:>Saig][
--------
 Look for a remake of a classic Gloom map soon, and a new one by me as 
well. GLOOM FOREVER (maybe not when Im thirty or dead or something:<)

 Saigf0ck@hotmail.com

"Hell if I know where I got the name! I was prolly stoned!"