180   #number of quotes
If we knew what we were doing....it wouldn't be research!
It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it. -The Blues Brothers
Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle: The location of all objects cannot be known simultaneously. Corollary: If a lost thing is found, something else will disappear.
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. -Mark Twain
We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it) but "That's funny..." -Isaac Asimov
In heaven all the interesting people are missing. -Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Do, or do not. There is no 'try'. -Yoda
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. -Irving Caesar
Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history. -George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
I could prove God statistically. -George Gallup
I never think of the future - it comes soon enough. -Albert Einstein
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? -Art Hoppe
The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is its inefficiency. -Eugene McCarthy
The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them. -Robert Frost
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. -John Kenneth Galbraith
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is. -Chuck Reid
Basic research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing. -Werner von Braun
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. -Bertrand Russell
An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field. -Niels Bohr
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. -Calvin and Hobbes (Bill Watterson)
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. -Albert Einstein
Reality is for people who can't handle Star Trek.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Life is wonderful. Without it we'd all be dead.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
It's funny old world - a man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes
Nothing is so simple that it can't get screwed up.
It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a
A mind is a terrible thing to ugg.. I forgot..
To every rule there is an exception, and vice versa.
DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MIND - the fault is with reality
Don't eat yellow snow!
Once I thought I was wrong - but I was mistaken
I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself!
I am in total control, but don't tell my wife.
Never hit a man with glasses. Use your fist!
The road to success is always under construction.
As I said before, I NEVER repeat myself
Those who can, do. Those who can't, supervise!
To err is Human. To blame someone else is politics.
"Who is #1?" "You are, #6."
Dime: a dollar with all the taxes taken out.
Don't let school interfere with your education.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
I'm easy to please as long as I get my way.
Assumption is the mother of all screwups
To err is human. To really screw up it takes a computer!
If you can't make it good, make it big.
Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, But Three Lefts Do.
From the Department of Redundancy Dept.
Scott me up, beamie!
No news is good news.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
So what's the speed of dark?
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
If the auto industry were like the computer industry, a car would now cost $5, would get 5000 miles to the gallon, and at random times would explode, killing all its passengers.
When a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from. -Andrew S. Tanenbaum
There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home. -Ken Olson, President, Digital Equipment, 1977
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. -Jeremy S. Anderson
I am logged in, therefore I am.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Programming is an art form that fights back.
"Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?"
My mail reader can beat up your mail reader.
Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
Nobody has ever, ever, EVER learned all of WordPerfect.
To define recursion, we must first define recursion.
Good programming is 99% sweat and 1% coffee.
Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Error, no keyboard - press F1 to continue.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
My reality check just bounced.
We all live in a yellow subroutine.
SYNTAX? Why not--they tax everything else!
Drive A: not responding...Formatting C: instead
Pascal: What's it Wirth?
Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea - massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it.
Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Halted!
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch!
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit
When DOS grows up it wants to be OS/2!
Windows: From the people who brought you EDLIN!
Walk through doors, don't crawl through Windows.
How do you make Windows faster? Throw it harder!
Difference between a virus & windows? Viruses never fail.
Remember, Speed kills! Try Windows to relax
The Magic of Windows: Turns a P3 back into a PC/XT.
Turn your P3 into an XT--just add Windows!
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
"If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good." - B.Gates
Coming Soon!! Mouse Support for Edlin!!
(Dos + Windows + ATM) < OS/2!
Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.
Bugs come in through open Windows.
Dogs crawl under gates, software crawls under Windows!
Don't be held back by yesterday's DOS! Try today's OS/2!
Dos: Venerable. Windows: Vulnerable. OS/2: Viable.
DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something...
Double your drive space! Delete Windows!
Friends don't let friends use Windows.
Have you crashed your Windows today?
He who laughs last uses OS/2.
How do you spell relief? OS/2!
I don't do Windows, but OS/2 does.
I smashed a Window and saw... OS/2.
If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft.
If Windows sucked it would be good for something.
If you want it done right, forget Microsoft.
MASOCHIST: Windows SDK programmer with a smile!
My best view from a Window was through OS/2.
One man's Windows are another man's walls.
OS/2: Taking the wind out of Windows.
OS/2: Bill Gates' worst nightmare!
OS/2: Logic, not magic.
OS/2: Not just another pretty program loader!
OS/2: The choice of the next generation.
OS/2: Windows done RIGHT!
OS/2: Windows with bullet-proof glass.
OS/2: Your brain. Windows: Your brain on drugs.
See the Future; See OS/2. Be the Future; Run OS/2.
Speed Kills - Use Windows!
The best way to accelerate Windows is at escape velocity.
The sad thing about Windows bashing is it's all true.
To whom the gods destroy, they first teach Windows...
Turn your P3 into a Gameboy: Type WIN at C:\>
Get OS/2 - the best Windows tip around!
What I like about MS is its loyalty to customers!
Why look thru Windows? Open the door to the future: OS/2
Windows is to OS/2 what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
Windows isn't crippleware: it's "Fuctionally Challenged"
Windows XP: From the makers of Windows 3.0!
Windows XP: Vapourware of the desperate and scared.
Windows: A View to be Killed.
Windows: an Unrecoverable Acquisition Error!
Windows: The CP/M of the future!
Windows: The Gates of hell.
Windws is ine for bckgroun comunicaions
You're throwing it all out the Windows!
I went window shopping...and bought OS/2!
OS/2 means...CURTAINS for Windows!
OS/2...Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates.
Win3.1? For fast relief call 800-3-IBM-OS2. 